238 I do love you!

"What if I tell you to give me, give us a chance… an honest chance? Since the time that I have known you, I have imagined spending many such moments with you. The only difference is that in those moments, you are in my arms and not five feet away. Can you not attempt to break free from your past? I am here to tell you today that I am crazily in love with you, have been for a really long time. I know you don't love me. But can we…" his husky voice was interrupted by her raising her hand and placing it on his mouth.

"Don't say the words. Please, I beg you not to say anything else," she pleaded.

Sighing deeply, she lowered her head and told him that she wanted to go back to the cool interiors of the waterbus. The outside view had lost its charm now.

When she had stood in the washroom this morning, her reflection had warned her that the day which had started badly was only going to become worse. It was time that she set people free.

Once they were seated inside, Jia Li took Wei's hand in hers and looked him in the eye.

"Let me introduce you to the woman whom you are in love with. I have known for a long time that you have deep feelings for me. I have also known that I will be unable to reciprocate those feelings. Yet I continued to lean on you, sponge off all the warmth which you sent my way, hid my selfishness in the garb of gratitude and accepted all the happiness which you created, just for me," she started in a hushed tone.

Wei tried to interrupt her with a negative shake of his head but her next words stopped him cold.

"Unfortunately, life intends to take me back to my worst emotional phase. Ironically, almost cruelly, it is offering the same recourse which was available to me, then. But this time, I don't want to, NO, I can't afford to make the same mistake," she told him in a wooden voice.

"Wei, I was born to love only one man. It doesn't matter whether he and I would ever be together or not. The truth doesn't change, irrespective of the outcome. I like you too much to have you suffer an association with a woman who is incapable of giving anything back to you. Today, you may feelthat I am exaggerating and that I am unwilling to give us a chance. But I want to assure you that I have been there, done that. No, please don't even think for a second that I am comparing you with that man, the one who is capable of taking someone's life. I am trying to tell you that I am the woman who was partially responsible for him having turned out this way," her voice nearly wobbled, despite her efforts to stay firm.

"I don't want to see the sparkle of excitement in your eyes get replaced by a despondency so deep that you wouldn't know how to fight it. And hence, I want to tell you that today is the last day that I am going to see you, talk to you, laugh with you. Starting tomorrow, I am walking out of your life because if I don't, there would never be place for someone else to walk in. You may hate me now, forever. But in my own twisted way, I do love you," her voice finally broke down on the last sentence.

Wei was stunned at her words. Never in his life had he thought that she would say something so blatantly hurtful, something which held a ring of finality to it.

"So you are trying to say that henceforth you don't even wish to be friends with me?" his hoarse words held a wealth of confusion and pain.

"I am trying to tell you that you will be my best friend forever but I can't be yours. Starting tonight, I don't want you to call me, or contact me through any means. Please assume that we are strangers, or worse, dead for each other," she steeled her voice as she hurled these hurtful words at him.

"Why? Why are you reacting so harshly? Fair enough, you don't want us to become more than friends… that's fine. But why are you trying to completely banish me from your life?" he asked.

His head was still trying to absorb her words in, while his heart was bleeding, bleeding profusely.

"I am doing this today because I am a coward and a selfish person. I should have done it a long time ago. But if I don't do it now, I would not be able to look myself in the eye. And I don't want to run away from the truth any longer. That's it," she answered him, the seriousness of her intent clearly visible in her eyes.