Chapter 419

Does he really understand what death means and what cancer means? Or does will really understand?

In the last life, as Chu Jiashu, he once embraced the God of death, not fear, not fear, but with a trace of relief, ten years of long suffering and suffering, except for those sporadic happy moments, most of the time, he was waiting for the arrival of death. He's tired, he's just tired.

He knew that he was only thirty-two years old. He was too young to die. He was too young indeed. The mood for love had withered before it opened. However, the endless life is always in the same place. When it is over, he is happy.

Only at the moment when the darkness had completely fallen did his desire for survival burst out, like a comet gliding across the night sky, and burst out with powerful energy, but it had disappeared before he could release it.

So he began to run, running towards the light. The fear and threat of death is just an instant.

For will, the same is true.

Even if the doctor diagnosed him, he suffered from cancer; Even if the mother was worried about him and fell into a breakdown; Even if his girlfriend left his life in a betrayal way because of cancer; Even if the psychiatrist constantly tries to enlighten him, let him vent his inner emotions; Even if friends pull him, use cancer to chat up in the bar; Even if everyone around him looks at him with strange eyes, as if he is already a dead man

However, he still has no sense of reality.

Cancer and death seem to be just a small change in his life. He has to start chemotherapy. It's just like he suddenly decides to walk his dog every day. It's just that the place where he walks his dog is special, with fixed time, fixed place and fixed action. The desire to survive and optimistic attitude, in support of him to continue to go on. Besides, the change of life never really hit him.

Those trivial details, accumulated bit by bit, are changing his life style, invading his life space and influencing his life style. He is afraid, he is uneasy, he is restless, he is irritable, he can feel his life is changing little by little, but he can't stop it, but this change is not earth shaking after all, he can step back, adjust and compromise step by step.

Until one day, the doctor told him that chemotherapy did not work, cancer cells are still spreading, surgery is the only choice, success or failure. As a result, all the back roads were cut off, he was forced to a corner, there was no way out, quantitative change finally caused qualitative change.

The sense of reality, like Mars hitting the earth, hit him hard in the chest. The fork in the road is here. After closing his eyes, he may never be able to open his eyes again. Moreover, it's not up to him to decide. He can only lie on the cold operating bed, waiting for the judgment, and completely let go.

That kind of despair, that kind of anger, that kind of pain, that kind of sadness, earthshaking burst out. He hated the world, everyone around him and everything in his life. He only knew one thing: he was not ready to accept death.

It's just a moment. Because, after that, will's operation was successful and he was reborn. Will knows what cancer means and what death means, but it's like the tide after all. After the tide goes up, the tide goes down. With the passage of time, he quietly withdraws from the blood, and the sense of reality disappears again.

Chu Jiashu is so, will is so. Adam in the script, too. On the plane from New York to Seattle, he had already thought about it, but he still didn't think it thoroughly enough.

However, compared with Chu Jiashu, Adam was more at a loss.

Because high paraplegia is real and immediate. Chu Jiashu can clearly feel that he has lost control of his limbs, but he is still at a loss. Until he realizes that he has lost control of his bladder, the sense of shame engulfs him, and the sense of reality becomes clear.

For Adam, the impact of cancer is slowly invading. He is adapting and groping little by little. The germination of that emotion has a gradual process, long and real.

But at the moment, when the doctor diagnosed him, Adam was just at a loss, and he didn't know what to do. What happened to "other people" suddenly happened to themselves. They were at a loss.

Not so much shock, not so much pain, not so much despair, not so much ups and downs, not so much transition. Confused, just confused, the brain a blank confusion, in addition to some confusion, this is all.

This kind of performance, is Chu Jiashu, is also Adam, but should not be Chu Jiashu, but should be will, is also Adam. The boundary between reality and illusion has been completely disrupted. In the last life, this life, will's, Langley's, memories, scripts, and countless fragments of the story have been disrupted. He must clear his mind and find Adam's, instant confusion and confusion.

Outside the glass window, there was a tranquility and endless flow. Lanli's vision could not help but be further extended. The whole world became larger and wider, as if there was no end to see.

In his mind, he can't help thinking, in the universe, is he just like a dust, so insignificant that his existence doesn't have any meaning; In other corners of the world, are there people who are facing similar difficulties and don't know how to deal with them; Should the war-torn lives in the Middle East and Africa be more compassionate than cancer

Eugene sletch. When his faith is torn to pieces, when his soul escapes into darkness, when his life falls into silence, is death a relief for him, and is living a torment for him? Compared with those fragile lives that disappeared on the battlefield, he had at least the chance to fight hard, but how would he fight?

How high is the cure rate of cancer? What's the mortality rate? What kind of cancer did he suffer from? Why can't he remember at all? That name is really hard to remember. He has never heard of it. It has a long string of letters. Haven't he even seen a doctor? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

The focus of the line of sight began to become blurred, ideas began to fly, all kinds of ideas swarmed in“ The sound of "Ba" pierced through the glass wall and stung his ears. The thoughts of flying in the sky instantly gathered in, and the focus was re focused. Then he was stunned. What was he thinking about just now?

Yes, cancer. Wait, what kind of cancer is he? Which is more terrible, cancer or paralysis? Which is more cruel, cancer or war? Cancer is caused by gene mutation. What does that mean, God's choice? Or God's abandonment?

Once again distracted, Lan Li lowered his head and looked at the cigarette in his hand. He was in a daze: shouldn't he smoke? After all, cancer, in order to survive, we should be more healthy. Wait, or should he start smoking? Because, cancer ah, anyway, life has not been long, do not enjoy at this time, do not wanton, there will be no chance in the future?

Why is he standing here? Shouldn't he be working? Work, right! He finally remembered that he was making a movie. He was an actor.

Lan Li took back his sight and stood in the same place, but he was still a little confused. Countless memory fragments were mixed together. He put his cigarette in his coat pocket, and then Lan Li began to walk in the direction of the office again——

Instead of setting up a studio in the studio, the crew rented an office in the hospital for filming. They rent a special floor for office use to avoid disturbing the daily work of the hospital as much as possible, and will not create any disturbance.

"I don't understand. I think he is a lunatic, a self righteous lunatic."

"I can't see his way of doing things, what his purpose is, and I can't find any clue at all."

"So he's a lunatic."

"I think he may be under a lot of pressure. After all, everyone says that his acting skills are outstanding and he can't help but want to keep improving."

"I don't think it's arrogant. The play just now has performed very well. I don't think anyone can give a better performance. He just made this gesture on purpose, as if he were a real master of acting. "

……

In the limited space, even if you can't hear it clearly, it's almost the same. However, neither Seth nor Jonathan stopped these comments. Just now, after watching the replay twice, both of them couldn't figure it out. They couldn't figure out the way of Langley.

But Seth was helpless. "Without James, Langley is our best choice. Now that he has not run away, we have to be glad to get there. What else can we do? " The implication is that although he was dissatisfied with lanli's self assertion just now, this time they were the weak side and could not be too demanding.

Lanli's rising speed is too fast and its foundation is unstable. Even though there are two works "buried alive" and "crazy love", they are still hard to convince the public. In the final analysis, he is still among the newcomers. In the "anti cancer me" production group, Lan Li is the youngest actor with the lowest qualifications, the least works and the youngest age. Any rash action may lead to doubt, not to mention the shocking world just now?

"Gee," the door of the office was pushed open, and the low voice disappeared in an instant. The whole room became silent. Everyone looked at the door in unison, and then they saw the reappearance of Lan Li.

Seth immediately changed his smile and said with surprise and enthusiasm, "Langley, are you back? It's not half an hour. "

Lan Li didn't seem to notice the line of sight coming from all directions. He went straight forward and nodded politely to Seth. "I'm ready to shoot again."