Chapter 2045

Little by little, the tears came, blurring the vision and scalding the eyelids. The city outside the window gradually evolved into a familiar scene of London. The streets, the river and the buildings crisscrossed into a black-and-white chessboard, and finally transformed into a colorless cage, imprisoning the wings of yearning for freedom.

Then, all the emotions disappear, no anger, no loss, no chagrin, no confusion, just simply feel sad.

He's like a lost child. Standing at the crossroads, helplessly and blankly looking around, I don't know how to ask for help or where to go. It seems that I have been abandoned in the same place by the whole world, and I can't find any more support or home. I can't help crying.

He stubbornly clenched his teeth, refused to let the sound leak out from his teeth, and all of them were suffocated in his chest. However, the sadness in the bottom of his eyes flickered among the crystal clear tears, and the whole world was falling apart bit by bit. The dull cry burst out a heartbreaking pain and bitterness, which made people sad, Trying to comfort, but not knowing what to do.

Philip slowly pulled the car to the side of the road and watched the blue Li in the back seat quietly through the rearview mirror. In this way, he let all the sadness release, as if he had taken off all the precautions. With Philip's nose slightly sour, his mind came back to the night he remembered.

It was the winter of 1993. At that time, lanli was only four years old. On a very ordinary night, there was no strong wind, no snow, just scattered drizzle, just like countless London winter nights, everything was normal.

In the early hours of the morning, Philip checked all the doors, windows and gas. He was ready to finish his day's work and go back to his bedroom to have a rest. However, he found lanli in the corridor on the second floor

He left the room barefoot in his pajamas and pajamas, squatted in the corner of the corridor, holding his knees in his hands, and buried his whole head between his knees. He sat quietly, as if the whole person was immersed in the strong night, almost unable to feel the sense of existence.

"Master lanli." Philip was a bit surprised because nothing special happened that night. He could not imagine that Langley would make such an unusual move

George stayed in the club because of social intercourse and didn't come back; Elizabeth went to Manchester temporarily after dinner and would not return at night. ALF stayed in the school library to study and would not return to the main house; Edith and Arthur both stayed in the dormitory and didn't go home.

As for Lan Li, after dinner, he was still reading some books in his study. When he brought tea in, he had a brief communication. Lan Li seemed to be reading medical books and asked him some questions. That's the whole situation. Everything is normal.

But the accident happened.

When Philip called, Langley didn't look up. The low, stuffy cry came out from between his knees. It reverberated in the corridor. It wasn't wailing or crying, but he could feel the heartbreak in the broken voice.

Lanli cried quietly for a long time. Philip didn't leave, so he waited quietly.

The passage of time lost its meaning. I don't know how long it took. Then lanli's tender voice came from between his knees with a thick nasal voice, saying a word that he still can't forget. "Philip, is it just me from now on?"

Philip is always different to lanli. In this child, he sees more things, which is different from the other three children in the hall family. His eyes can't help but stay on lanli and wonder what will happen in the future, just like taking care of his own children.

He knew it was wrong. He is just a housekeeper, which is only a job. He is closely related to the fate of the hall family, but he must also remain objective and independent, and must not have too much entanglement, otherwise his job will be derelict, which is not the emotion that a professional Housekeeper should have.

But it's different after all.

After that, Philip had never seen such a lonely, helpless, and lost Langley.

To this day.

Sullen and dreary, Lan Li's voice came hoarse and difficult, revealing his vulnerability for a moment. Then, he asked the same question.

Just like twenty-one years ago.

He remembers, and so does he.

Philip opened his mouth slightly, but he couldn't make a sound. He looked at Lan Li through the rearview mirror. His eyes were filled with sadness and weakness, as if he had a wad of cotton in his chest. He was so depressed that he wanted to vent but couldn't find an outlet. He didn't know what to do.

Blue Li raised his head, through the misty tears to meet Philip's line of sight, word by word said, "answer me." Lanli, who is always calm and self-supporting, is always wise and wise. At this time, he is like a child begging for a lollipop. He says his request unreasonably, and then sticks to it stubbornly.

Lanli looked at Philip sadly. The stubborn and fragile in his eyes existed at the same time. The contradiction kept spinning in his tears harmoniously. "Answer me!"

But Philip had no way to speak, so all the words stuck in his throat, unprecedentedly clumsy.

He wants to stay. Unfortunately, he can't.

George forced Philip to persuade Langley. George is a baron, the owner of the hall family, and Philip's boss. As a housekeeper, Philip has little room to resist. He can refuse and has the right to refuse, but the initiative is always firmly in George's hands.

It's like using Denise Stevens to clamp Edith down.

Philip knew that George would not give up. Even if he didn't agree, George and he could intimidate Raleigh in different ways. The methods and ways might be different, but the results were the same - unless Philip took the initiative to leave, he would always be the weakness of Raleigh.

Philip also has his own insistence. He refuses to hurt his family for the sake of fame and wealth, he refuses to smear others for his own sake, he refuses to abandon dignity for the sake of survival, he refuses to forget pride for the sake of glory... Just like an old and rigid hereditary nobleman, he adheres to those stupid, useless, crazy, old and absurd rules, And then in this way in the natural law of survival of the fittest out of the stage of history.

If "evolution" means giving up his own persistence, he would rather be eliminated than abandon himself for the sake of "survival of the fittest".

Stupid, right?

Philip knew it was stupid, but he was willing to stick to it. What's more, he is already an old guy who has half his body in the mud, and will be eliminated sooner or later. So, it's better to insist on the last bit of pride, at least when death comes, he can be worthy of his heart.

It's just like Lan Li's insistence.

As a result, Philip chose to resign on his own initiative, bid farewell to the post he had held for a lifetime, and chose to return home. Maybe, just like this, they are eliminated by the times.

It's just that... He can't protect Langley any more.

The fool who chases his dream like a fool, the fool who rushes forward and hits himself with bruises, the fool who wins the world as long as he can have a good sleep, the fool who walks alone because he is afraid of injury, the child who runs barefoot to get a fever in rainy days... He thinks he will guard him to the end of his life, But now that promise cannot be fulfilled.

Twenty one years ago, Philip replied, "master Langley, I'm here."; But twenty one years later, Philip could never say that again.

Langley watched Philip, but he didn't wait for a response. Then he was heartbroken a little bit. The anger slowly seeped out of his soul, and finally he couldn't keep calm any more.

"What do they want?"

"What else do they want?"

"I've never aimed at them, I don't care, I don't care at all! They just need to... Just leave me alone as before, that's good! That's all I ask! They can enjoy everything in London. I don't care about all those things! Take it! Take it all! Is it not what they are good at pretending that they don't exist and living like this

"Why? Why do they always want to advance? Why do they always want to have everything? What I long to have is just a little bit... Just a little bit of freedom and warmth. Why do they take away? Why can't they let me go? "

"They hurt Arthur and Edith, they hurt ALF, but no one will blame them. Why? Because they give us life, so they can do whatever they want? Because they raise us with money, they can trade us as tools? Because they have the titles of father and mother, they can control our lives as they please, but they don't need to be responsible? "

"Why?"

"Why?"

"Now I can't even call the place where they exist 'home', and then they will even erase your existence! Why? Don't I have any weight? Does your life's dedication mean nothing? Can't they even feel the warmth? Are they all heartless? "

"What are they insisting on, and what am I insisting on? Who can tell me? Philip, answer me, God, I need you to answer me! I am tired, I am really tired, why they are always so greedy, why their desire can never be satisfied? Why do they always want to control the world? Why does their madness never end? "

"Why?"