Chapter 12 – Why I Fight

“Yuki, wake up.”

Five-year old Mayumi Yuki woke up to the soft voice of his mother calling him. It was early in the morning, the sun was barely peeking out of the horizon.

“Mama? It’s too early,” Yuki asked, confused and drowsy. “I’m sleepy.”

“I know my dear,” she whispered to him, cupping his chubby cheek. “But you have to get up, alright?”

Yuki rolled out of bed yawning and rubbed his eyes, shaking the brown hair that touched his shoulders.

“Are we going somewhere?” Yuki said as his mother picked him up and carried him to the front door of their cozy one story house.

“Mhm, that's right. We’re going on a quick trip,” she said distractedly as she struggled to get Yuki into a jacket. “You papa will meet with us later.”

His mother led Yuki by the hand outside into the cool morning air and began to walk at a brisk pace to the dark forest that surrounded their house, Yuki sometimes having to run in order to keep up. Every now and then she would rotate her head to look behind her at the silent and dead house. While she walked,  she started to whisper words of comfort, saying that nothing will go wrong or that everything was fine or that papa would come soon, that seemed to be more for herself rather than Yuki.

A minute later, her eyes shot wide-open and quickly twisted her neck to look back while she quickened her pace. She picked up little Yuki, hugging him close to her chest as she ran into the forest. She stopped at a clearing that was hidden by bushes and the looming shadows of trees.

“Stay here, okay? Ma, mama will be right back. Don’t move, and I’ll come right back, alright?” she whispered quickly to Yuki as she laid him down gently, her breathing quickening as she continually flicked her eyes toward the direction of the house.

“Where are you going, Mama?” Yuki asked curious.

“Where? I’m going to get Papa. Yes. just going to get Papa. We’ll play a....a prank on him, okay? Ju-just hide here and when Mama comes back scare him, alright,” she quietly said as she hugged him tightly. She began to stroke the top of Yuki's head.

“You can do that right, baby?” she whispered softly into his ear.

“Yeah! Okay~! I’ll wait. I wanna scare Papa,” Yuki replied cheerfully, unable to see the tears that were forming on the face of his mother that was next to his.

“You - you do that, okay? Good boy, good boy. I’ll be right back, right back,” she said, her voice cracking at the joyful reply. She inhaled unsteadily. “Remember I love you. No matter what, I love you.”

She began to cry, her shoulders shaking.

“Why are you crying, Mama?” Yuki asked in an innocent voice. “Are you sad?”

“No, no. Just, just something in my eye. Yes, my eye,” she said as she wiped her face quickly with the palm of her hand. “Stay here, remember to stay here, okay?”

She took a deep breathe, composing herself. Then she took something out of her pocket and placed it in Yuki’s tiny hand.

“Hold this for me, alright? I’ll come back for it. Give to me when I come back,” she said, trying to smile while looking into the bright eyes of her child.

"Oh, it's so pretty~," Yuki remarked, entranced by the object that was still wet from the tears of his mother.

She began to get choked up, her eyes welling up with guilt and anguish, before she stood up quickly to hide her face. Leaving Yuki sitting on the ground, she looked at him with a deep sadness as she watched the small child playing with the new toy that he just received.

“I love you my little snowflake1Yuki’s name means snow,” she whispered to herself and she turned and began to walk back to the house.

“I love you. I love you, I love you...,” she repeated, the words getting increasingly more unsteady as the repressed tide of emotions began to break through her voice.

“STAY THERE!” she pleaded tearfully before she was swallowed by the darkness, the sounds of the forest replacing her voice.

Minutes past and Yuki happily sat there in the darkness covered by the bushes. He wasn’t worried, Mama promised to come back. Mama always kept her promises. She said to scare Papa when she came back with him. Papa didn't like surprises, maybe he should jump out from the bushes? 

BOOM

A loud explosion rocked the forest and Yuki stood up from where he was sitting, curious. The sound came from the direction of his home.

“Mama?” Yuki asked but there was no reply. "Is Mama playing with fireworks?"

Forgetting the words his mother said to him he began to jog back toward his house.

‘Trip, just a trip. We’re going to go on a trip,’ Yuki repeated in his head, a grin of anticipation of his face, as he approached the house. ‘I want to know where we're going! Mama isn't back with Papa yet.'

When he saw the clearing that his house was, he quickly raced forward with a wide smile on his face before stopping suddenly behind a tree with a look of deep confusion.

Where his house used to stand was an unrecognizable ruin burnt black with a ghostly blue flame surrounding the outside.

Standing in the center of the blackened remains of Yuki’s childhood was a person clad in black who was holding in one hand a sword that glowed unnaturally in the night. And in the other hand the neck of Yuki’s father.

As Yuki stood in the shadows, he watched as the man in black stare at his father. It seemed that the person was asking Yuki’s father a question. And when the man didn’t get a reply the glowing blade flashed. The blade that was now protruding out from the back of Yuki’s father, dyed red with blood.

The screams of despair from a woman could be heard. A woman that couldn’t be Yuki’s mother. That heart wrenching sound couldn’t have come from the smiling, loving mother Yuki knew.

“YOU BASTARDS!” the woman screamed. “I’LL KILL YOU ALL!”

The man in black tilted his head and silently looked at Yuki’s mother while he slowly slid the sword out of the lifeless form of Yuki’s father. Then the blade flashed again and the screaming stopped.

The killer calmly wiped the blade on the clothes of the father and sheathed it. With a wave of his hand the fires were snuffed out and the man disappeared into the night.

Yuki raced forward when he saw that the man was gone, panic and fear in his eyes. The smell of burning wood was still in the air even though the fires were not. As he got closer and closer to the house, the smoke blinded him and stabbed at his throat.

“Mama!” he yelled as he found the bloody form of his mother. “Mama.”

She turned her head, and looked at the crying boy that kneeled beside her and smiled slightly, blood flowing from her stomach.

“You naughty boy, I thought I told you to wait,” she said.

The smile dropped.

“Snowflake. I’m sorry,” she said in a hoarse whisper. “Mama can’t go on the trip with you.”

“Why can’t Mama go? Mama is going to be fine right?” Yuki asked tears streaming from his eyes.

“No, no. Mama is going on a different trip,” she said quietly, her voice barely audible. “I’m going to find your Papa.”

“But Papa is right here. You don’t need to leave!” Yuki said his voice shot with panic as he pointed at the dead body of his father.

“Papa isn’t here right now, baby,” she said with a smile. “I'm sorry that I couldn't stay here for you.”

Yuki could only cry and respond with wails filled with despair. The hammer of reality hitting his soul as he understood the meaning behind his mother's words. The pain breaking him.

“You keep that safe, you hear?” Yuki’s mother whispered, her head turning to face the night sky. “Keep that safe. Or I'll come back to scold you.”

She smiled slightly before letting out a long sigh filled with regret and sadness. Yuki could only watch, tears slowing, as the sound of her breath slow.

“I love you, my snowflake,” she said in a barely audible voice. “I’m sorry.”

Yuki's crying became more controlled, and he nodded his head as he looked up to see the face of the pale figure that laid before him. The sadness within him began to subside, replaced with a chilling hollowness.

“Good,” she mouthed silently, the tears that fell from her eyes taking the last of her strength.

And there Yuki kneeled until his mother took her last breath. A breath that seemed to suck in all the warmth in the destroyed house. A breath that took in what was left of the boy that sat quietly next to the dead form of his mother. Yuki stood up and walked out of the house with controlled steps, leaving the burnt husk as empty and broken as him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Yuki woke up with a loud gasp and quickly sat up on his bed holding his head. The last time he had this dream was years ago. Yuki thought he had gotten over it. But the death of his aunt seemed to have reawakened the memories he had buried.

He slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom.

Washing his face, he looked at his face in the mirror. He saw a ghost with lifeless eyes looking back at him.

He sighed softly. The dream of the murder of his parents. A memory that would cause most to despair and grieve.

And he felt nothing within him.

But looking back on his dream he realized a few things that he had never noticed before. The house he was raised, secluded from everyone. The haste at which Yuki’s mother took him out of the house. The way she seemed to know that something was wrong. The words that she yelled at the assassin as if she knew who they were.

They, his mother and father, were trying to protect him. They fought to keep him safe and had died for him.

Yuki’s hand went to the necklace he wore. The one that his mother gave to him. He looked at the smooth oval stone that rested at the end of the necklace. The necklace that his mother told him to protect.

He remembered the outlines of those killers dressed in black. The killers that his mother promised to kill.

“What drives you?”

Yuki remembered the words that Moyasu asked earlier in the day.

What did Yuki want? Why was he living, despite of all the abuse and despair that plagued his life? Thinking hard, Yuki knew that he was fighting for a reason. But what was the reason.

'Family,' he realized. 'I live for my family.'

Yuki finally understood. He lived so that he could carry on the legacy of his parents. To live in their place and experience the world for them. He lived because he believed in the promise his mother made, the one that said that he would see them again one day. What did Yuki want? 

He wanted to make his parents proud of him, to not let their sacrifice be in vain. Yuki looked at the mirror, his eyes focused and full of purpose. He had found his purpose, his goal.

He will carry out the last wishes of his mother and honor his parents. He will protect himself and those around him like his parents had done for him. He will protect the necklace as if it was his life like his mother had wished.

Then he will crush the people that took away from him the only thing he ever had and avenge the lives of his mother and father.