Chapter 220 – A Chance

Yuna crept towards the bank of the river, not believing her eyes. Zero was here. The woman that her heart ached for was standing there, the moon shining down on her like a spotlight. Her arms were open with a gentle yet concerned expression on her beautiful face, made even more so by the shine of the moon. Her soft silvery hair flowed down, waving ever so slightly in the night breeze.

“Come,” Zero whispered, beckoning to Yuna. “Come.”

And then there she was, in the woman’s arms. Yuna didn’t know when she left the river, just that now she was in the woman’s embrace. Yuna’s clothes were wet, but she didn’t care and neither did Zero. Zero began to pat Yuna gently on the back and she realised that she was crying once again. 

When she tried to pull her head away to hide her tears, Zero pulled her closer, letting Yuna’s head rest on her chest. Yuna didn’t resist and let herself sink into the softness. There she cried, Zero gently patting her back as she hugged her. 

After a while, Yuna’s tears began to fade away and she regained control over herself. Or as much control over herself as she could. She pulled back again, this time Zero letting her. 

“I’m sorry for being such a mess,” Yuna mumbled as she wiped her eyes. 

“I don’t mind,” Zero replied, her voice soft. Yuna touched Zero’s shirt. It was wet now.

“I got you wet as well,” Yuna sighed.

“I don’t mind,” Zero repeated. “Are you feeling better?”

“A little,” she nodded. She steeled herself before looking up. “Thank you.”

Yuna’s eyes met Zero’s and felt herself get sucked into those deep grey eyes. Zero smiled and warmth filled Yuna. 

“I’m glad that I could help,” Zero said. She ran her fingers through Yuna’s hair and sighed. “Though, I’m sure you have so many questions.”

‘Oh.’

Yuna had none. She was just glad that Zero was here with her. 

“I can answer some of them right now,” Zero offered. “Let’s sit.”

They went to the grass and plopped themselves down, their legs touching ever so slightly. No one spoke and Yuna was just fine with that. She enjoyed the moment and the feeling of Zero beside her. Then Zero let out a sigh. 

“Well, ask away,” she said, staring off into the distance. 

Yuna blinked and racked her brain for any question. She went for the most obvious first. 

“Are you Yuki?” Yuna asked, her voice hesitant. 

“Yes, I am,” the woman replied. 

“But I thought you were a guy. Unless this whole thing is fake?” Yuna wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear the answer to that.

“You know, Zero was always a code name,” Yuki said. She drew her legs in and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Do you know what it meant?”

Yuna shook her head.

“It meant origin. It meant me returning to my base,” she explained. “Yes, I was a male. But no, this me isn’t fake. This is who I am.”

“You were so adamant before though that you were a guy,” Yuna frowned. 

She felt her hand get taken and pressed against something soft. Turning, she saw that her palm was feeling Yuki’s chest. She reddened and gave Yuki a questioning look.

“Do you feel that?” Yuki asked. Yuna nodded. “It’s as real as you are. Don’t doubt it. Please. I am a girl.”

Yuki dropped her hand and sighed.

“You know, I’ve always had suspicions. About who I was,” she said. “When I was younger, being called a boy irked me for no particular reason, but being called a girl scared me. I got used to it over time though. But you’ve probably noticed that I never really had the mannerisms of a typical guy.”

Yuna had noticed. She had chalked it up to Yuki being a more feminine guy. Though, there were times that no matter what she did, Yuki also appeared to be a girl.

“So please, I don’t want you to think of me as a male,” Yuki said. “I’m a girl through and through. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” Yuna replied. “Gladly.”

Yuki smiled and Yuna momentarily forgot how to breathe. 

“Thank you. But remember to still refer to me as a male in front of the others,” she reminded. “They don’t know yet. Save for Aki and Eri.”

“Akira and Erica? How long have they known?” Yuna asked.

“Ever since I’ve found out. Though Erica has been referring to me as a girl for a while now.”

“When did you find out?” 

“Now you seem to have questions,” Yuki said with a smile. Yuna turned red and looked away.

“I’m just curious, that’s all,” she mumbled.

“It’s fine, I said that you could ask,” Yuki giggled. “But I don’t think we have the time right now to get into that. It’s a long story that I don’t think I can shorten all that much. Just know that it’s been quite some time now.”

“I understand,” Yuna said. 

“Anything else you want to ask me right now? I’ll try to answer as much as possible.”

She bit her lip. There was one question that Yuna wanted to ask. But it was a question that she didn’t want to hear the answer to. She didn’t know how she would react if she heard the words that she dreaded. 

“What is it?” Yuki asked, leaning closer. “You seem to have something on your mind. Ask away. I won’t bite. I promise.”

“Then. Um.” Yuna took in a deep breath. “Um, you know my feelings right?”

“Yes?”

“I was just wondering if you can respond to them,” she mumbled, the end of her sentence trailing off. 

“Oh. So you do like me,” Yuki said. Yuna gave her a small nod, but stared straight at the ground. “Oh my.”

She let out a light laugh that filled Yuna with joy despite her apprehensive mood. 

“What are you laughing about?” Yuna complained, her voice muffled by her hands as she covered her red face. “It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing because it’s funny, Yuna,” Yuki replied. Yuna could hear the smile in her voice. “To be honest, I feel. Happy? Is that the word?”

“Happy?”

“That you find me attractive. Erica always says I am, but she always says that.” She laughed again. “I sound so childish right now.”

Yuna stayed quiet.

“I’ll give you an answer,” Yuki said, her voice becoming more serious. “It won’t be the one you hoped for though. But I hope that it won’t be the one that you dreaded.”

Yuna raised her head. Her heart sank as she prepared herself for Yuki’s next words.

“What do you mean by that?” she asked.

“Right now, I can’t respond to your feelings,” Yuki explained. She took Yuna’s hand and squeezed it. “I hope you can understand. There are things I need to sort out first before I can. I’m not sure yet how I feel about you. Maybe you can change that in the future. I don’t know.”

“I understand,” Yuna replied with a slow nod. 

“There’s also the matter of, nevermind. That’s a problem that I have to deal with,” she said. She stared off into the sky. “My problem. I don’t want to trouble you with it.”

“Okay. So you’ll give me a reply later then?” 

“Yes. Ask me again when you feel like it’s the right time. If I can answer then, I will. You can count on it.”

Those words filled Yuna with hope. It wasn’t a rejection. There was a chance. She just needed to give it some time. 

“Thank you,” Yuna said. Her eyes stung as she felt tears welling up again. She quickly wiped them away. “I’m sorry. I’m such a mess.”

“It’s fine,” Yuki said, putting a hand on Yuna’s head. She pulled her in. “You can let it out. It’s just the two of us right now.”

Yuna obliged and let herself enjoy Yuki’s embrace for just a bit longer. Then she pulled away and gave her a small smile.

“Thank you again,” Yuna said.

“No need to thank me. Come, let’s return.” Yuki stood up and gestured to the direction of the camp. “They’re waiting.”

Yuna nodded and watched Yuki as she slowly walked away and transformed back into a male. Her hair shortened and changed back into a shade of brown. 

‘I won’t give up,” Yuna declared. ‘I still have a chance.’

A fire lit up in her eyes and a face of determination set on her before she ran to catch up with Yuki as they went back to the camp.

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