Chapter 229 – Love

The rest of the mission consisted of Yuki clamping down on her bubbling emotions that tried to escape out from her whenever her attention relaxed. It didn’t help that the sources of these foreign feelings were always with her. When they seem to calm down for a moment, all it took was one direct glance at Akira and Erica to a lesser extent for those feelings to come raging back. It came to the point where Yuki couldn’t look directly at them for prolonged periods of time.

Luckily, the mission was a welcome distraction. Yuki used it as an excuse to distance herself and focus solely on their targets. She stuck around them, setting up listening devices as well as using her own ears in order to glean any information she could. The focus required helped her get her mind off of whatever those feelings were. 

But the mission couldn’t last forever. Before the party ended, Yuki had to withdraw and gather Akira and Erica. She did it with many physical motions rather than words. She didn’t trust her voice at the moment.

They walked out of the club, the music still blaring. Giving the bouncer who still stood at the door a quick wave goodbye, they made their way to the Junction transportation station. They didn’t speak the entire way. Yuki didn’t know what to say. The other seemed okay with the silence. So she decided to keep it that way.

The trip back to their apartment from the station was equally as quiet. But the dark had helped Yuki in calming herself. She could still feel the presence of the two beside her, but what had been an inferno was now just a smolder that warmed her stomach. 

That smolder though was still dangerous. It urged her with sweet whispers, telling her to do this or that. Telling her that it wasn’t much and that they meant nothing. That Akira and Erica wouldn’t mind. 

Take it, the voice said when her eyes glanced at Akira’s and Erica's hands. You’ve done it before. It’s not a big deal.

‘This is different though.’

How?

‘I don’t know. It just is.’

Do it.

And though she resisted at first, her flimsy protests quickly collapsed. It couldn’t hurt. It was just handholding. Except the small fact that she had never initiated something like that before. But before she could change her mind, her hands snaked out and gently gripped the two girls’ hands.

‘Oh god. Why am I nervous?’

Her stomach flipped at the stares Akira and Erica gave her. Then their hands closed and held hers in return. Small smiles appeared on their faces and Yuki gave them one as well. They didn’t ask any questions, the three of them walking like that until they reached their apartment.

‘That wasn’t so hard,’ Yuki thought. ‘Stop freaking out.’

They stopped in front of the door and Yuki let go of their hands reluctantly, hoping that it didn’t show on her face. She placed her hand on the door lock, the lock beeping and the door opening to let them in. The lights inside the building glowed, bathing the place in a dim light. 

“Well. It’s late. We should start heading to bed right?” Yuki said, her voice quiet.

“Yeah,” Erica replied. Akira nodded her head. “Let’s get ready.”

Taking turns to use the bathroom, they prepared for the night. Yuki rinsed herself off and brushed her teeth and hair, before heading to her bedroom. The room that she shared. With Akira.

‘Oh god. Why am I worrying about this now?’ she complained. ‘Just go in there and sleep.’

She pushed the door open and marched in before nearly turning around again when she saw Akira lying in bed. Shoving down her seconds thoughts, she went to the otherside of the bed and slipped in. Then she found herself face to face with Akira, their faces inches apart.

“How was it?” Akira asked with a small smile. “Did you have fun?”

“The party?” Yuki replied, butterflies in her stomach. She kept her face straight. “Yeah. I did.”

“I’m glad. I thought you weren’t since you seemed so focused on the mission,” she said. “But it’s good that you did. You don’t go out for those types of things all that often.”

“Yeah. It was a nice change in pace,” Yuki said, the corner of her lips twitching. “I never thought that I would go on a girl outing to a nightclub. But here I am.”

“But here you are,” Akira repeated. They stared at each other, Yuki doing everything in her power to look natural. “Did you see Erica during the party?”

Yuki cracked a smile. She remembered. Erica seemed to be having the time of her life, dancing like there was no tomorrow. 

“Yup. She was going crazy out there,” Yuki giggled.

“Right?”

They chatted together underneath the blankets in hushed whispers. Yuki’s nervousness slowly melted away as they talked and laughed. But not completely. Underneath the sheets, her toes still curled and her heart still pounded. She liked it that way. It still reminded her that those feelings were still there, but now they weren’t intruding on her thoughts.

Akira was the first to fall asleep. Her closed eyes, her small breaths, and the way her hands nestled underneath her chin made her adorable in Yuki’s eyes. She reached out hesitantly and cupped Akira’s cheek. Akira made a soft sound and nuzzled her face against Yuki’s palm. 

‘So cute.’

The contrast between the stunning beauty that Yuki had danced with and this adorable girl only made Yuki’s feelings grow. She rubbed Akira’s cheek and gazed at her with a small smile on her lips. 

Then Akira shuffled forward, snuggling against Yuki, their bodies pressing against each other. A gasp escaped Yuki, but she didn’t pull away. It felt right. The warmth of Akira and the way her head pressed into Yuki’s chest. It felt perfect.

Everything clicked into place.

‘Oh.’

Yuki understood now. That nervousness. The want. Those strange urges. She knew what they meant. She was in love.

‘Crap. This is bad,’ she thought. ‘Am I supposed to confess now? Do I wait for some sort of mood? What do I do?’

Akira let out a little noise and snuggled closer, distracting Yuki from her thoughts. She decided to put that off for later. Right now, she would just enjoy this moment.

Yuki’s eyes fluttered open and she felt a moment of deja vu. She was in her room within the guild base and Akira was there beside her, sleeping. Then she remembered why she was here again.

‘The cannon,’ she thought. ‘I knocked out.’

Her hand went to her body and felt around. Everything seemed to be intact and in the correct places. But she felt far from fine. Her muscles were sore, her entire body felt tired, and her mind was almost lethargic. It took everything to struggle to shift her body so that she laid a little more upright.

‘So mana exhaustion is bad.’ She started to laugh but her body screamed in protest so she stopped. ‘Ugh. I wonder how long I was out.’

Her gaze went to Akira who was sleeping soundly beside her, her head resting on her arms that laid on the bed. 

‘That looks uncomfortable,’ Yuki thought. ‘Let me wake her up.’

She gently nudged Akira’s arm, ignoring the little waves of pain that accompanied the action. With the prodding, Akira’s head slowly went up, blinking as she tried to remove the sleep from her eyes. Then her eyes widened.

“Yuki? You’re awake,” she said, her voice full of relief. “Oh thank the gods.”

She leaned over and grabbed Yuki, giving her a tight hug. Yuki’s muscles complained, but she kept it to herself. A little pain was a small price to pay.

“I’m awake,” Yuki whispered. “How long was I out?”

“Two days,” Akira whispered in return, her voice tickling Yuki’s ears. “You were out for two days. I was worried it was going to be longer than that.”

“Well, I’m here now.” Yuki rested her chin on Akira’s shoulder and closed her eyes. “I’m awake. Thank you. For staying here with me.”

“No need to thank me. I always do it.”

“That’s why I need to thank you,” Yuki said, guilt gnawing at her. “I’ve never told you it before. Even when you were always there to help me.”

“Then you’re welcome,” Akira replied. She leaned back and gave Yuki a smile that tugged at Yuki’s heart. Yuki smiled back. “Let me go get Zoe to do a quick check up.”

She started to break away. Yuki felt panic build within her and she lunged out of bed, grabbing Akira’s wrist. Her body cried out and she collapsed, taking Akira with her as she fell back onto the bed. Akira leaned over her, her face filled with worry.

“Yuki? What’s wrong?” she asked. Yuki stared up at her. “You look like you’re in pain.”

“Don’t go.” Yuki’s words left her mouth before she could stop them.

“What happened?”

Yuki didn’t reply. She stared at Akira’s warm golden eyes, at her picture perfect face, and those pink lips that were pressed together in worry. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuki said. Her voice was quiet. “I’m sorry for worrying you so much. From hiding my plan. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It’s fine, Yuki. I’m fine,” Akira replied with a gentle smile. “It all worked out in the end. Don’t let it eat at you.”

“I’m so selfish. I never consider your feelings. I only do what I want and just force you to follow me. I’m so stupid!” Tears welled up in Yuki’s eyes. “You’re always there to comfort me and I just take it for granted.”

“Shhhh, it’s okay.” Akira wiped the tears away. Yuki grabbed her hand and pressed against her cheek. 

“Even now,” Yuki said. A sad smile curled her lips. “Do you remember what you said to me before? That you’ll show me how deep your feelings run? That you’ll change me?”

“Yes. I’m still trying to do that,” Akira said with a small laugh. “But now isn’t the time for that.”

“You don’t need to anymore.”

Akira tilted her head. 

“I don’t understand,” Akira replied.

Yuki stared at her, the memories of that night in the club as they danced together. When they whispered to each other underneath those sheets. When they fell asleep, cuddled up together. Yuki didn’t know if it was because of her lethargic thoughts, or the dreams she had, but any misgivings she had disappeared and she reached out. She reached out and cupped Akira’s face, pulling her closer before she kissed her, a long and deep kiss as Yuki let out months of pent up feelings, her heart soaring at the sensation.

“You idiot,” Yuki whispered when she stopped to take a breath. Tears poured down her face, but they weren’t filled with sadness. “I’m trying to say that I love you.”

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