494 Memories of Dad

We took some more time to watch the waves come in and crash into the shore before finally going back. Coming home the house was empty, even missing Mrs. Atkins. 

"Maybe you can find Noah and Zeke at the park?" Mr. Atkins told me as I looked a little lost on what to do. 

I shook my head. "No, I rather not." I paused. "Do you think you can get Jeremy's phone number?"

Mr. Atkins face softened. "Yea. I can do that." He went into his office, made a call to Mr. Duncan and then came back out. We sat at the kitchen table, just the two of us, and his phone. "I'll be right here. Just be upfront with what you want to talk about, okay?"

I nodded. 

Mr. Atkins dialed the number he was given and put the phone on speaker. 

"Hello?" He answered. 

"Hello, Jeremy. This is Wayne Atkins." He told him. "I got your number from Doug, I hope you don't mind."

After a pause, he spoke up. "No, no, not at all. It's fine. It's good to hear from you so soon. Is Jake...? Does Jake..?" He couldn't form a question, making him sound just as lost as I felt. 

"Jake is right here. You're on speaker." Mr. Atkins told him in a light tone. "He just had some questions for you so I thought we'd give a call since we know you have today off."

"No, I mean yes. That's fine." He paused again. "Jake?"

"Do you think Dad loved me?" I blurted out. 

"Yes." He answered without hesitation, surprising me. 

I looked up at Mr. Atkins and he just nodded at me, encouraging me to go on. 

"How can you be so sure?" Knowing him, shouldn't he have said otherwise? How could he easily say that our dad loved me?

"Because Dad loved you before you were born." He sighed over the line. "When that woman was pregnant, they fought all the time and she had said...that you weren't his. I didn't understand what that meant until I got older. But looking back, Dad wasn't bothered by those words. He tried to coax that woman all the time during her pregnancy. And then when you were brought home, he always had his eyes on you." Jeremy cleared his throat. "I used to be jealous of you. Dad would constantly be holding you every time he was home. Sometimes he would even throw me a ball with one hand, even while holding you in the other."

My vision blurred as my eyes got watery. 

"As we got older, I understood more and more that the woman in that house wasn't like a normal mom at all. She said hurtful words to anyone and everyone. To Dad. And then to us when he was away. After he passed away, Uncle Jack came around and he was like my saving grace. He pulled me away and we started a new life."

"I don't want to hear about you." I told him boldly. "I only want to hear about Dad."

It was almost like watching a movie. I couldn't help but cry as I imagined a man swinging a baby around, walking the baby up and down the street to get the crying to stop, and just thinking how attached he was to the baby me. Maybe it was more like a dream. 

"Do you have a picture of him?" I asked after Jeremy couldn't come up with anymore memories. 

"Uncle Jack has pictures of them growing up. Some pictures of him playing baseball can be found online." He took a deep breath and slowly let it go. "There isn't any of us together. Him and me. Him and you. If anything, she would have it."

"She doesn't." I mumbled, before yawning. All the emotional digesting had made me tired. I slowly got up and looked at Mr. Atkins. 

He smiled warmly. "Go ahead and take a nap, Jake, if you're feeling tired. I'm sure Noah will wake you up when he gets home." 

I nodded and left the phone with him, not even bothering to say goodbye to Jeremy. I felt a need to thank him, but I held back. It was polite to thank him for his time, but Jeremy didn't deserve my politeness. I trudged up to the room I shared with Noah, collapsed on my bed, and knocked out. 

It wasn't until dinner time that Noah woke me, studying every micromovement I made as I got up. I rubbed the gunk out of my eyes. "You're back? How was practice with Zeke?"

"It was good." He blinked. "Made me happy. Then slightly sad. Tomorrow will be our last game with him, ya know?"

Oh. I patted his shoulder. "You can't say that for sure just yet. There might be a chance at the higher levels."

Noah laughed, brushing my hand off him. "Yea, I know." He lowered his voice. "I just want to cherish this just in case it's our last. I want to go out as winners."

"We will." I assured him. 

"Well, look at you!" He examined me, up and down. "I thought I was going to wake up and console a depressed kid that needed some coddling. Are we doing role reversal right now?"

I cracked a smile. "Only if you need it. I'm okay, really. Your dad and I had a good talk. I got some answers about my own dad too."

"From Jeremy? Did he come back or something?"

I shook my head. "We just spoke over the phone."

"Oh." He looked unsure. "Just about your dad?"

"That's all I wanted to know. For now." I shrugged. "I won't write him completely off just yet. Maybe keep my distance. I don't know what he wants from this. I didn't ask."

Noah grinned, threw an arm around my shoulders, and proceeded to drag me out of the room, down the hall, then down the stairs. "You've come a long way, Jake. Three months ago, you wouldn't say a peep and didn't know a dimes worth about baseball." He laughed. "Now we're about to be starters on a championship team and you talk up a storm. Things are looking up!"

I chuckled.