269 Back to Dr. Moore 1

"You look good, Jake." Dr. Moore smiled as I walked into his office with Mr. Atkins right behind me. "Wayne, how are you?"

Mr. Atkins smiled back at him. "So far, so good. Taking it one day at a time. You know how boys can be."

"I couldn't imagine having that many sons." Dr. Moore chuckled. He looked to me as I sat in my loner chair. "I heard you have something you want to talk to me about?"

I clasped my hands together, and after a reassuring nod from Mr. Atkins, I spoke up. "You know how a few weeks ago, I seemed to black out towards the end of a game?"

He nodded. "You felt that no one would be there to cheer for you like how the Atkins cheer for their sons. Do you still feel bothered that your own family isn't there for you?"

I shook my head. "Not really. The Atkins cheer for me too. It's a different feeling."

"Why don't you describe the situation in more clear detail? What was going on in the game? What were your thoughts? Your feelings?" Dr. Moore looked close to asking me to write an essay.

I cleared my throat. "It would be the last inning. Tentatively. It was the bottom of the fifth and we were up by eleven. Dave was pitching. In fact, he was trying to go for a perfect game."

"And what does that entail?" Dr. Moore made me pause.

"Uh, no runs, no hits, no walks, and no errors."

"No baserunners." Mr. Atkins shortened for me. Then he added. "If a high school team is up by ten or more runs by the end of the fifth, it would be a called game. A mercy rule."

Dr. Moore nodded and made some scribbles on his yellow notepad. "So hypothetically this game was coming to a close? Dave was personally trying for the perfect game as the team was trying for the called game?"

I frowned. "No, we were trying for the perfect game too. For Dave. Kyle already had one, so..."

"So? So what?" Dr. Moore pushed me to continue.

"So I wanted them to be even..?" I mumbled.

"This is a little off track, but I'd like to expand a little more on it." Dr. Moore tapped his pad with his pen. "So Dave and Kyle are twin brothers. Who both pitch. And you want them to do equally as well as the other?"

I nodded. I truly did. Wouldn't that be fair?

"Now what if one of the other brothers pitched too? Like Zeke or Noah? Would you want them to all be equal in talent and skill?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Even though they're not identical? Zeke is older, and Noah is younger. If Noah was throwing a perfect game, he would garner more attention than any of them just because he's still a freshman."

I clenched my fists. "Oh, right."

"Did you want them to be treated equally?"

I nodded. Shouldn't brothers be treated the same?

"That's not fair to them though." Dr. Moore caught me by surprise. He gave me a light smile. "We have someone here today that can easily answer why treating each kid differently can be beneficial." He turned to Mr. Atkins. "Wayne, would you say that you treat each son the same way?"

Mr. Atkins shook his head. "Of course not. Each of them have their own personality. Zeke is very mature, but will sometimes need me to remind him who is the parent. Meanwhile the twins, although identical in looks, have their own quirks too. Kyle needs a confidence boost every now and then. Dave is a bit wild and needs to be reigned in when he crosses the line. Noah too. Noah is outgoing and seems very confident doesn't he?"

I nodded.

"But sometimes he still needs us to reassure him that he's doing well. Or if something goes wrong, he'll still run to us." Mr. Atkins looked me in the eyes. "Just because we handle each of them differently, doesn't mean we love one more than the other. We love them equally. It's just, sometimes one needs a little extra guidance or one may need extra discipline."

I froze. I wonder... Did my father really love both me and my brother equally? Did he just think I needed extra discipline from my mother? Or did he think that my brother wouldn't survive and I would? But how would that make sense? He was older than me. What was his reasoning?

After sitting in silence for a few minutes, I came to a conclusion. I looked at Dr. Moore. "I don't think all parents love their children the same."

This time it was his turn to look surprised. "Yes, well, there are some relationships like that. But in a normal, healthy family environment, it's common for siblings to be loved the same, yet treated differently. That was the point I was trying to make, to emphasize that Dave didn't need a perfect game. Sure, it's a nice accomplishment, but it doesn't make him any less of a pitcher than Kyle. Nor any less than a person. His parents will still love him the same. Not any more and not any less."

"But...I didn't want to be the one to let him down. To let everyone down." I spurred out.

"Ah!" Dr. Moore raised his eyebrows. "Now we're getting to the crux of the problem, right? Tell me how the inning went, and then what you felt afterwards."

I sighed and started at the bottom of the fifth to give him a play-by-play.