39 – The Destroyed Paintings
“How could you…” Irene stuttered.
“Did you think that I was unaware of what you were doing behind my back! That I was unaware that you were going out with the Duke, Noel Kristen! I also told you before not to draw pictures like these, but Irene, all you have been doing is ignoring my warnings!”
The Count shouted in her face; his hot breath spat on her skin, but Irene couldn’t hear his words. Her heart pounded, and pounded, and pounded… She was only focused on her paintings on the floor that were torn into shreds. Each destroyed piece sent another pang of pain into her heart. A painted leaf, a strip of pond water, a glint of yellow sun… all the shreds were like pieces of a puzzle. One that was unsolvable.
“If I see you meet the Duke or paint something again, I’ll have you immediately removed from the family register!” Count Chase screamed at Irene.
As he slammed the door shut, Irene’s father left hurtling those threatening words at Irene. They lingered in the air, an inescapable mire that dragged her down to the depths of despair. It was so suffocating even though the room was well ventilated. Irene choked then, being left alone, she walked forward. Irene, who was left alone, stared at the pieces of her paintings, and then her knees gave out and she collapsed on the floor.
A hot cumbersome waterfall threatened to spill from her eyes and this time, Irene did not blink them back. She let the salty water flow down her face. They had started as a small welling but quickly grew in volume. Her mood was already low. The Grand Duke had shunned her, breaking her confidence yet now… she was torn. Irene couldn’t bear to think about anything. It all piled upon her – the weight of the world, and she cried and cried and cried. Where was her value as a human? She felt so insignificant.
So, Irene fell on the floor and let her sorrows drown out in the hot droplets that poured down on the remnant of her paintings. Each drop splashed on the ground indiscriminately soaking the carpet or a piece of ripped canvas. Some of the paints reactivated and bled into the beige carpet, painting it the colour of leaves and sun. However, in the room was a lonely young girl, torn asunder like her paintings.
♔♔♔
“Irene, are you all right?”
Noel’s expression became very stiff when he saw Irene’s face the day. He could tell how much she had cried from her bloodshot eyes and the black circles under her eyes.
“… I’m fine. Please just leave faster.”
Irene replied with a smile and leaned her head against the window. She closed her eyes as if she was tired. This was her way of asking him to stop prying; Noel could no longer ask her about it. He wanted to redirect the carriage from heading to Kristen’s residence, but that was clearly something Irene didn’t want. For Irene, his presence was enough to comfort her slightly. It was reassurance that she was not alone in this.
…Because today was the last day. After this day passed, even if the Grand Duke interfered, Noel was going to thoughtlessly push ahead.
Irene, who stepped out of the carriage with Noel’s help, was now familiar with the path to the room. As if it were routine, she walked up straight to the entrance of the mansion.
“Miss Chase? Are you alright?”
Tom, who met Irene at the door, looked at her. Surprise was evident on his face as he observed her dejected state. Irene had no energy to answer that, so she just simply shook her head and then turned her head to look at Noel.
I’ll be right back.
The look in her determined eyes was enough to convey her meaning to Noel. After they had spent the past few weeks together, Noel could pick up cues to read Irene. Then he nodded and Irene entered the room. She could see the room’s scenery, which was completely unique and peaceful, and the Great Kristen who was still looking at the wall with his back turned.
Irene didn’t know this, but from the moment the Great Kristen felt her presence, he had focused on the sound of her footsteps. The light clicking of her heels as her shoe bumped into the carpet became heavier as she came closer.
“…Hello, I’m sorry that I could not come yesterday. I encountered some circumstances that made me unable to come…”
Irene spoke in a tired voice whilst bowing her head. Then, just like the last two weeks, Irene raised her head to look at his back.
However, perhaps because Irene’s heart felt too powerless today, she could not bear to only look at his back for today. The blow at Chase mansion still resided in her heart. Once again facing this fresh challenge was too much for Irene who had yet to recover.
“Perhaps today will be the last day I come here…” She spoke softly.