Chapter 280 - When Will This Vicious Cycle End?

Note:

This chapter is dedicated to dear Kelly Goodwin. Thank you for gifting a spacecraft the other day. Hope you are having a wonderful week. xx

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"You were saying...  you were wrong about his death?" Leland asked Sophie carefully. "What do you mean by that?"

Sophie took a deep breath. "I was wrong. I thought he died because he didn't come for me for years. However, I suddenly saw him again... yesterday."

So, this was it.

Leland knew they would finally come to this point. He wanted to know what Sophie was thinking.

"Is it... the king?" Leland asked. He kept his tone flat and without emotion. This was such a sensitive topic for them, and he wanted to tread carefully.

Sophie was surprised to see Leland guess the man so easily. Was it really that obvious?

"How did you know?" she looked at him deeply. 

Leland was conflicted about whether he should tell Sophie that he saw her and Nicholas six years ago in Blackwoods. He KNEW what Sophie's husband looked like. He realized Nicholas was still alive and actually the king of Riga, almost at the same time as Sophie.

"I can smell his scent," Leland replied. "When I saw you in Blackwoods six years ago, when the bear was about to attack you, I took you to your hut. I could smell his scent everywhere in that hut. And I recognized the same scent when we went to the royal palace and saw the king."

"Oh..." Sophie really regretted the fact that she was not a real lycan like Leland. She couldn't smell such scents. "So, you also think he is Nicholas? You believe that too?"

It's good to get this affirmation from another person so that Sophie wouldn't think she was crazy or making up things, to think that the king of Riga was her husband.

"Yeah, it's him," Leland said. "That means, he is still alive and yet he had never looked for you."

Sophie took a deep breath. "I think, he didn't mean to do it. I believe, he lost his memories when he consumed too much wolfsbane. He hated his lycan side and would do anything to 'cure' himself."

Leland nodded. This was what he assumed too.

"Say, you are right. He did lose his memories, still, it's not an excuse to let you suffer so much, being on your own. If he cared about you and loved you, he would have put your safety as paramount. He wouldn't endanger himself because that means, he was also endangering you."

Sophie knew Leland was right. However, now that she had time to think about it, she couldn't really put the blame on Nicholas 100%. Nicholas was really young back then, he was only 21, and perhaps didn't think things through. He just wanted to cure himself of Lycanthropy.

It was not his fault that his father and the whole family made him think of himself as a monster. Years of brainwashing that resulted in self-loathing played the most important role in Nicholas making that decision to consume a lot of wolfsbanes.

He was just desperate to be 'healed'.

"Leland... there is no use talking about what already happened," Sophie touched Leland's hand and calmed him. "I was actually mad at him when I saw him in the royal palace, living a happy life, and having a future wife. It hurts to think that I am nothing in his life. The boys were nothing to him. It's like we never exist.  It hurt so damned  much."

Leland was silent. He had never heard Sophie vent like this. She was always the sweet woman that he knew. It was hard to see her looking upset and angry at someone. Did she hate Nicholas for leaving her to fend for herself?

Sophie held back her tears from streaming down. 

"Now that you know he is still alive, what do you want to do?" Leland finally broke the silence and asked Sophie the most important question. "Would you tell Luciel and Jan about their father? Or would you keep the story that he was already dead?"

Sooner or later, Luciel and Jan would grow up and find out the truth about their background. It was up to Sophie and Leland to decide if they wanted to let the boys know directly from them or find out by themselves.

Also, there was another problem. King Nicholas Hannenbergh may not remember that he was married to Sophie, but from their last encounter, it was obvious that he was attracted to her. It might have to do with their past relationship.

Even though his brain didn't remember Sophie, his heart did. This would pose a new problem in the future if someday Nicholas regained all his memory back. 

What if Nicholas remembered Sophie was his wife and he came to claim her back?

Would Sophie forgive him and got back together with him, along with their children?

These were all the questions that bothered Leland.

Being his mate for so many years, Sophie could understand that Leland was upset and curious to know how she would respond to such issues in the future.

"I think..." Sophie let out a long sigh. "It wouldn't be fair for the kids if they are denied the truth about their father."

"So, you plan to tell Luciel and Jan, that their father is the king of Riga... our enemy?" Leland asked to confirm. He was very disappointed that Sophie seemed to want to tell their sons about Nicholas. However, he kept his expression flat.

Sophie shook her head. This was what frustrated her. She thought it was not fair for Luciel and Jan if their parents kept Nicholas' existence a secret from them.

However, she thought it would make them hella confused if they knew their biological father was still alive, and that he hated lycans.

"I don't know, Leland," she cried softly. "I don't know what I should do. I want to do the right thing, but I am so confused." 

Leland quickly pulled her to his embrace and patted her back dotingly. "It's okay. You are allowed to be confused and undecided. This is such a difficult thing to deal with."

His hatred toward Nicholas was not important compared to Sophie's suffering and the fact that the children were trapped in the middle.

Luciel and Jan were raised to hate the royal family of Riga, because the Hannenberghs was responsible for so many deaths of their tribesmen and Sophie's parents.

However, now they suddenly found out that they were actually the heirs of the kingdom? This was fucked up on so many levels.

"What should we do, Leland?" Sophie sobbed and buried her face on his broad chest. "I don't want them to feel trapped in the middle."

Leland was silent.

"I don't even mind not getting my revenge for my parents' deaths if it means we can have peace," Sophie said between her sobs. "We have all been trapped in an endless cycle of revenge and hatred. The Hannenberghs hated lycans because lycans killed many humans and their family members."

She continued. "Nicholas was kidnapped when he was young and turned into a lycan to punish his father. His hatred toward lycans was built up too over the years. My parents were killed by the Hannenbergh's men and now you want to avenge them. When will this vicious cycle end?"

Leland tightened his embrace on Sophie. He could feel her desperation and sadness. Unfortunately, he couldn't give her an answer.. Leland still hated the Hannenberghs and he still wanted to get his revenge.