Chapter 81 - Lee Donghwa: Desperate For All Of This

"Mr. Lee, you have a cardiac issue. Alcohol is not good for your current condition, sir," Hoonsik explained, worried.

"Who cares?"

Hoonsik fell silent. He knew that if I spoke like that, then no one should advise me anymore.

Gazing out the window, I wondered inside, did Kim Daehyun hide Chunghee from me? Did he force Chunghee to hide from me? Is he hiding Chunghee somewhere?

With my current chaotic thoughts, I couldn't think of better things than to accuse him. After all, Kim Daehyun was in that house and what I knew was, Chunghee had never invited anyone else to visit his grandmother's place except for me.

Doesn't that mean Kim Daehyun is with Chunghee right now?

Besides, no one in this world who wanted someone they loved was hidden by someone else, so I wouldn't be able to relax before I could meet Chunghee and apologize.

However, before I could find the answer within myself, a new thought suddenly appeared in my head and broke my previous assumptions.

I smiled bitterly. Inside, I was laughing at myself. I was a fool to ask that. After suffering from mental torment and enduring many pains, then being dumped and disrespected, no one could stand such a relationship, but Chunghee had been doing it for three years.

No one could endure all these painful things except him. But, because of my ignorance and indifference, driving him away was unforgivable.

However, I didn't want to give up. I knew Chunghee as a kind and generous man, I believe that love wasn't completely lost in him and was sure that he would forgive me.

A few moments later, the car was parked right in front of a fancy bar. I opened the car door, but before I walked inside, Yoon Hoonsik asked while peeking through the windshield, "Sir, should I wait for you? I'm afraid you will get drunk."

Without turning my head at him, I replied indifferently, "No need. I can take a taxi later."

There was a brief pause before Hoonsik replied, "Ah, all right, sir. Just call me if you need something."

Without a response, I immediately stepped inside.

Jazz music was very familiar in this place. The melody took me into a deeper feeling, drowning me in pain.

The owner of this place once told me that most of the diners at this bar were high-class people, and almost all of them requested for the same music, jazz. So, to make those rich people become regulars at this place, he purposely brought musicians from America, and it seemed to be working. Until now, this place had been in great demand by conglomerates.

However, for me, I didn't like that kind of genre of music and wasn't really interested in music. It was just because this bar was the first place I visited, and I thought that such a place would serve the same drinks and as a brothel, so there was no need to look for a new place that would give me the same atmosphere.

I rested my head on the counter, feeling uneasy over the wait. While scrolling through the menu on my phone, my thumb tapped into the photo gallery, hoping to find Chunghee's photo there, but nothing. Chunghee wasn't a narcissist. If it wasn't me who took the photo of him secretly, there wouldn't be a moment of our togetherness.

However, all of those albums were gone, like him who was no longer with me.

Thinking about this, I suddenly remembered that I still had one photo in my wallet. With a smile, I took my wallet out of my pocket and opened it.

Here was an old photo of Chunghee that I took since we were in college. I couldn't stop smiling when I saw the figure I missed all this time. From then and now, Chunghee's face had not changed much. Even though now there were faint wrinkles on his face, nothing dominated his beauty.

However, in this nostalgia, it was suddenly shattered when I heard the voice of a woman beside me.

"Hey, you look messed up today, sir. Are you okay?"

I lifted my head for a moment, turned to the side, and saw a woman who smiled at me.

"Would you like a drink? I'll treat you," the woman said.

However, without caring, I returned to rest my head on the table, looking at Chunghee's photo with great affection.

"Sir, here, have a drink."

Disgusted, I immediately lifted my head and straightened my back. Tucking Chunghee's photo back in my wallet, I said nonchalantly, "Get lost."

Before the woman replied, Jay Nam approached us after making a drink for a customer who was sitting not far next to me, then said, "Miss, look at his finger. He's married, don't tease him."

"Tch."

After Jay Nam said that, the woman immediately left as if holding back her embarrassment.

Jay Nam explained, "She's one of the hookers in this place. She might be interested in you, so she offered you vodka."

"Whoever she is, I don't even care." I glared at him before continuing, "Hurry and give me any drink. I want to get drunk tonight."

Jay Nam was heard sighing deeply. He said nothing and immediately made a drink for me.

While waiting, I stared at the table blankly until a glass of drink was shifted towards me. Then, I immediately took the drink and drank it all in one gulp.

However, as soon as the drink passed through my throat, I realized that it wasn't alcohol, but water topped with a little sugar and lemon. Frowning, I said irritably, "I'm asking for alcohol. Not water and sugar."

Jay Nam smiled. "That's a specialty drink, sir. Honey and lemon. You look unwell lately, so that would be a good fit. You should also cut back on drinking and smoking. Recently, you drink and smoke too much, more than you do usually."

"Can you shut up and give me a drink, please? Don't make my mood get worse," I replied sternly, looking at him furiously.

Jay Nam shook his head. Feeling he had no choice, so he immediately took a drink and poured it into a glass.

Spending an hour and a half in this place, I was also half-drunk, and instinctively muttered Chunghee's name over and over.

Jay Nam, who saw my situation, spoke, "Um, sir, I will contact Sunyeon to take you home, okay?"

I immediately lifted my head, glaring at him. "Don't call him. I can go home by myself by taxi."

Finishing my words, I immediately stood up and put a few won on the table, then staggered outside.

Seeing that I was having trouble walking normally, Jay Nam helped me to the front door until I got into a taxi.

In the car, in helplessness, my cell phone suddenly rang. As soon as I saw it was Bae Yunhee ID, I immediately answered, "What?"

"Have you been to the hospital?" Bae Yunhee asked.

"Yes, I've heard the doctor's explanation." Taking a silent breath, I said, "I don't know what else to do. I didn't know that Chunghee had cancer all this time. He also—"

"Okay," Yunhee cut in before I finished my words. He asked once again, "So, what about Chunghee? Have you met him?"

There was a pause before I answered in a weak voice, "No. But, I met Kim at that house. He didn't let me meet Chunghee. I know that he must be hiding him from me."

"You sound pretty sure. So, what now?"

Taking a silent breath, I replied, "Track Kim's location."

Instantly Yunhee was heard bursting out laughing. "For what?"

"So I can find out where he hid my Chunghee."

Hearing about this, Bae Yunhee sighed softly. "Look, don't get yourself into a big trouble. If we do it, the problem will be even bigger if he finds out."

"Then, what should I do? Do I have to wait for a miracle for him to tell me? To be honest, I don't know what else to do. I can't think of a single way out in my head. I just want to die. I don't know why I have to live in this world."

Bae Yunhee was heard sighing heavily once again. He's probably sick of hearing my complaints and nonsense almost every day. He asked in a flat tone, "Where are you now?"

"In the car — going home."

"Okay, look, I know you're tired of your troubles. But, hang on for a bit. Kim will present at the meeting tomorrow, so I'll try to talk to him."

"Yunhee, it's useless. He will never listen to anything."

Yunhee was silent for a while, then continued to say, "Go home and calm yourself. Tomorrow I will go to your place and discuss this after attending the meeting."

Hearing about this, I smiled stupidly. "How can I be calm as if nothing happened these days?"

"Just get some rest. I have a dinner appointment, so I'm going to hang up."

After finishing the sentence, the phone was also cut off.

As soon as Bae Yunhee hung up the phone, I stared at my cell phone screen blankly. I would be a delight if Yunhee offered such help. But, somehow, today I felt that whatever I did would be in vain.

I had been desperate for all of this.