I stared at Donghwa in silence, feeling in disbelief at how he was right now. In just a few days of not seeing him, his appearance was that devastated. I never expected that Donghwa would be even worse than I ever thought when he lost something.
Silent for a few moments, I stepped onto the bed where he wrapped the blanket around his body. How pathetic.
I sat beside him, lifting my chin to stare at the ceiling of this bedroom before trying to comfort him by words.
"Hey, Donghwa, it's been a while since we had fun with the others. They're all looking for you. What about we have dinner together tomorrow? I'll tell them if you agree. What do you think? You've thought too much of something lately. Leave that for a moment and try to relax."
I turned to him, patted him on the shoulder as I continued to persuade him, "Hey, man, I'm lonely. If you don't want to go with them, what about me? What about we go to the entertainment centers?"
"Not interested."
I sighed softly. "What if you accompany me to the casino? I'm not asking you to take part but—"
"Yunhee, my morals are already bad. Don't take me to a worse place to mislead me even more," Donghwa interrupted my sentence.
I laughed hollowly. "Then tell me, where do you want to go? I don't know if we've been going to better places than all of that before."
"..."
"Dude, come on, try to find something that can make you feel better. I miss the times we had fun like before. At that time, you were not this boring. Come on, forget your problems for a moment. I'm also afraid you will go crazy and not recognize me again, even yourself." I smiled, and gave a little compliment, "You know, you're the best buddy I ever had. It's not easy to find someone as crazy and wild who has a noble heart like you."
As soon as I finished my sentence, there was a long pause before Donghwa opened his voice that sounded hoarse, "No matter how you persuade me, I have no passion to do something like that anymore, so go away. Instead of you here and talking nonsense, you better go. Don't waste your time. You must also have a lot of work to do out there."
"I have no business today." Paused for a moment, I thought of something. I wanted to ask him about how he met Kim Daehyun in Sokcho but I doubt it. However, after reconsidering and driven with intense curiosity, I decided to ask him.
"Alright, then tell me, why did you meet Kim yesterday?" I asked curiously.
"Yunhee, I don't want to talk about it."
I chuckled. "You should be grateful. Usually, I would complain if you kept talking about your failed love affair. But, now I'm glad to offer myself. Come on, if telling someone can make you feel better, then tell me."
"I'm not in the mood."
"Heh, alright." Sighing lethargically, I thought that I should open the topic of conversation first to get him to talk, so I started explaining, "You said that Kim snatches Chunghee from you, right? I am actually a little hesitant about it. When he said that he 'found him first', and it means that he didn't do it and Chunghee didn't come to him either. Everything was accidental."
Hearing about this, Donghwa slowly opened the blanket that was covering his face. Turning to me, then trying to dodge, "I believe Chunghee didn't come to him, but I can't believe that damn Kim didn't snatch him from me. If he really doesn't feel like he's snatched something from me, he should have let me see Chunghee yesterday. But, what? I knelt in front of him, but he just walked away."
I frowned. Thinking about it carefully before replying, "You know that he likes Chunghee, right? Of course, he won't waste this chance. After all, why are you so stupid to let Chunghee go? Your stupidity is ingrained."
As soon as I finished my words, I looked at him as if I blamed him. However, I was suddenly surprised when I saw that his eyes began to tear up. He turned his face to the side, hiding his face under the blanket. He then spoke in a trembling voice and I know that he was crying right now.
"Don't remind me of that. I regret what I shouldn't say to him. I never meant to throw him out either. I just bluffed him because I thought he wouldn't go away from me like he once did. I... I ... I didn't know that he had cancer all this time. If only I had known it, I would never have left him alone and told him to ...." He paused, trying to suppress his voice but failed.
He couldn't hold back his tears anymore and cried hysterically like a baby who needed milk. Even, Donghwa, who had high self-esteem all this time, had such an inferiority complex in my eyes. He would never normally had wanted to show such weakness, but now he just did it, in front of someone who was always making fun of him.
"I really didn't mean to do that. You know that I can't control myself when I get angry and all those words just come out. I thought Chunghee would understand because he's been facing me for many years, but I never thought that he would take it seriously. I'm stupid! Don't tell me that, I already know that I'm stupid!"
I was speechless. I was about to justify what he just said but I thought that it would only make him blame himself even more, so I asked, "Why did you guys argue that time?"
Donghwa shouted all of a sudden, glaring at me furiously. "I caught him with Kim in the hospital. If they just walked together, then I can still tolerate them and will forget about the problem. But, they are holding hands! I don't like it when Chunghee is touched by anyone!"
I lifted an eyebrow, feeling the words he said were too ridiculous for someone who liked to sleep with anyone out there when he was lonely. But, I tried to be his brother who would listen to everything he had to say, whether it made sense or not.
However, amid his crying, he suddenly burst out laughing like a man who had lost his sanity. "You know, and the funny thing is, Daehyun already slept with him. So, what can I do? Laughing at myself, right?"
I grinned coldly. "I don't think so. Kim isn't that kind of person I think. But, if so, what can we do?"
"Are you on his side?"
"Ah, no, that's not it. I just conclude what I see from him. He is a dignified and intellectual man. He doesn't look like someone who likes to fuck anyone carelessly. Even if he likes Chunghee, he won't be that hideous I think. So, don't worry too much about it," I explained, trying to comfort him even though I wasn't sure what my words were.
After he calmed down a little, then he spoke, "I'll keep coming to Sokcho to check on him. I won't give up until I can see my Chunghee." He turned around again, wrapping himself in the blanket. "Leave now."
"You don't want to go out for a walk? Instead of rotting in your bedroom, we'd better go ... anywhere you find pleasant."
"No — no need — go away," he said indifferently.
Since I didn't want to make his mood get worse, I stood up immediately. I stared at him for a moment, then was about to turn around. However, before I took a step, I suddenly remembered something and immediately asked, "Um, two days ago, I met Mr. Kim (Kim Myungdae) and he was looking for you with the worst expression he ever showed me. Did you do anything stupid again?"
Donghwa didn't reply immediately. There was a few seconds of pause before he said in a low, anxious voice, "It's a matter of contract a week ago. Being too busy with my personal affair, I forgot that the agency owned by the Lim family offered me a contract. So, he got mad at me because Lim canceled the cooperation plan."
I was momentarily stunned when I heard his words, shaking my head before contemplating that stupidity. "You're really devastated, dude. This is the umpteenth time you've done something wrong to him. Fortunately, Mr. Kim is patient enough, so he can forgive you. Hopefully, in the future, you can think better. Don't let him get angry till he thinks to involve you in taking part in shares. Your career could be ruined you know. Next time, please use your common sense so that your brain doesn't get more stupid than now, okay?"
"I don't even care."
Hearing his indifferent answer, I could only sigh, then left this place. After all, whatever advice I gave, in that half-mad state, he wouldn't listen to me. So, instead of having to waste my time talking to him, I better left, and let him be alone to calm himself down, also contemplating on his future today.
***