Chapter 86 - Selfishness (2)

"Chunghee, don't be stubborn. I know you're hurt. But, don't let it make you ignore your condition."

"I just feel so bad if you sacrifice so much for me. If you do it, then I feel like I need to pay you double. I can't do it. I can't pay you with a feeling nor money."

Finishing my sentence, I immediately turned around, turning my back towards him, then pulling the white blanket so that it covered my whole body. I curled up in the blanket like a shrimp in a frying pan.

He also spoke with a hand that touched my head, stroking it gently, "Chunghee, I told you, don't think about it. You don't have to owe me. It doesn't matter if you don't reward my feelings. I don't mind at all. As long as you don't ignore your condition, that's enough for me."

"You know, I just want to be with you. I'm afraid that if you ignore yourself, I won't be with you much longer. I'm afraid of that. I just got a chance to be with you, so please, don't make me miss this chance."

I refused to respond to his words and remained huddled under the white blanket that covered my whole body.

"Chunghee, are you angry?"

"..."

Not getting any response, he suddenly hugged my body from behind. Lying on my shoulder, he whispered in my ear in a deep voice combined with the softness of the tone waves at each word he said, "Chunghee, don't be angry. I beg you. I've already talked to the doctor, and he did advise you to stay here for a few more days. What can I do if the doctor hasn't let you go home? I can't just take you away in this hospital. It will be no different from kidnapping his patient."

I wanted to say something. But, the words that were already on the tip of my tongue were swallowed up again because of the intimacy of Daehyun's warm breath on the nape of my neck. It was amused and I wasn't used to it, yet I also couldn't do anything even though I wanted to get rid of Daehyun apart from letting Himself stay here.

After a few moments of silence, he kissed my head, then spoke again, "Okay then, I get to go. Get some rest, okay?"

He got up from his position and I could hear his footsteps that slowly moved away and disappeared along with the sound of the door closing.

At this silence, my mind immediately fell to Daehyun who had just left and realized that I often imposed my wishes that were difficult for him to do.

However, being gentle like that, made me gradually start to accept his presence and also his cares.

Somehow, when he cared for me so sincerely, made me calm and happy at the same time.

I wondered, what does this feeling mean?

I kept thinking about my own feelings; considering many things; integrating everything with the existing reality. However, it felt endless. I never found a point, to sum up, this feeling. So, a few moments later, I fell asleep because I was lost in my own thoughts.

Waking up at night, I slowly opened my eyes, then swept my eyes in all directions and found Daehyun who was peeling an apple beside where I was currently lying.

I smiled faintly. This kind of situation as if happened twice. I asked, "Daehyun since when were you here?"

His cold face brightened as a smile etched on it. He then put the apple on a plate on the bedside table, and replied, "Since a few minutes ago."

I slowly got up from my position and Daehyun helped me. Then, he served a glass of water which he took from the table, near the apple that had been peeled. I immediately grabbed it, then took a single sip.

I wiped my wet lips, then put the glass of water back on the table. Feeling guilty, I spoke doubtfully, "Um, about this afternoon, I'm ... sorry."

One his eyebrow raised. "Are you still thinking about it? It's okay. Don't think about it too much."

I lowered my gaze. Still, I felt guilty for my attitude this afternoon.

He took my hand, and said with a smile, "Hey, I have good news. I'm sure that you would love to hear it."

I frowned faintly, with a curious expression, "What is that?"

"Earlier, I talked to the doctor again, and he said that you can leave this hospital tomorrow."

Instantly I frowned in confusion, and couldn't help but ask, "Didn't you say that the doctor hadn't allowed me? You also didn't agree with this decision before. But, why ..."

I didn't expect that he would do that, moreover how he was so emphatically saying his words this afternoon, even I thought that nothing could change that statement from him.

However, this was beyond my expectations. His mood changed really quickly as if tonight he was a different person from this afternoon.

He sighed softly. Smiling, he said, "I changed my mind. So, I decided to discuss this with the doctor once again, and luckily, he agreed. I also signed a letter of consent."

Instantly my face turned happy and reflexively hugged his body tightly. "Daehyun, thank you, and I'm sorry for pushing you into this."

He didn't respond to my words, but I could feel his hands also hugging my body, and thought that Daehyun would be fine. I was both happy and touched at the same time.

It might sound unfair to him if I said that his predicament had paid off sweetly for me — selfish and careless. However, that's how I felt when I was with him that I felt moved when I thought about it.

Daehyun often bothered himself just because I was selfish, and with great patience, he faced my attitude without the slightest complaint.

He also said, "Chunghee, if anything happens to you, I will regret this decision for the rest of my life."

I could understand the meaning of that sentence. But how did I know if one day 'nothing would happen to me'? It's impossible if you looked at my current state.