Chapter 132 - Final Decision (1)

While thinking about that, a decision appeared in my head. Taking a silent breath, I replied, "I will never regret it. I chose to be with you and I chose to go. I have nothing to regret."

I paused for a moment, took a deep breath while closed my eyes to calm my burning heart. Then, as I said again, it all hurt again, "Donghwa, I have no regrets about being in a relationship with you. Now, please, get out of here ... from my life too."

Donghwa didn't give any response. He only kept looking at me with an expression that I had never seen before.

In the past, I had seen him grieve and even cried in my arms but didn't look as miserable as he was now, wherein his eyes there was only despair as if there was no luminous future he could see other than the boundless void with no direction and goals.

He then slightly lowered his gaze but didn't say anything yet.

Seeing that he was reluctant to leave, I reminded him, "You said you gave up, now leave."

As soon as I finished my words, he slowly lifted his eyes, still revealing the same expression. However, since he had not even said a word, I urged him a little, "What are you waiting for?"

He didn't answer immediately and seemed to be trying to smile but failed. He finally said in a low voice that sounded sad, "In the past, you told me when we're still in college. You said you wanted to live on Jeju Island to spend old age together after we retired."

"...."

"I've bought land in Jeju and I'm going to build a house for you. I fought for it for two years because it was very difficult to get a building permit there. But finally, a few months ago I managed to get a permit from the local government." He smiled hollowly, then continued regretfully, "I intended to give you a surprise that day but because of my folly we had to argue and cause all this to happen."

I was startled when I heard that expression. However, since saying that would be useless, I replied as calmly as I could, "It was just a dream from the past, no longer exists now. After all, why are you bringing it up now? Do you want to whine for something back again?"

"No." He answered. His voice sounded shaking. "It's just that I feel I need to say what I should have said before. Otherwise, I'll be sorry all my life for never telling you."

With a pause, he revealed a completely unexpected thing, "Actually, I've been lying to you about my parents too."

My eyebrows creased. I asked confusedly, "What do you mean?"

"I had told you at the time that my parents were divorced, but actually they didn't. I just took that excuse to cover up the truth."

"What truth?" I asked curiously again.

"They know that we are in a relationship—"

Before he could finish his words, he coughed a few times suddenly. He turned around and kept coughing, so I touched his back worriedly but couldn't say a word.

I was shocked when I heard his words, but it didn't last long. When I saw Donghwa who looked unwell, I instinctively worried about him.

However, seeing his condition being thinner than before, I was sure that he wasn't all right.

After he felt better, he turned his body towards me, took my hand, and held it warmly. He then placed it on his face and I could see that he gradually felt comfortable.

I pulled my hand quickly. The warmth he had could make me change my mind, so being indifferent was the best way to run.

"Donghwa, go home and rest," I said.

"I haven't continued with my words."

"No need."

Seemingly, he didn't care about those words. He smiled, then continued to tell, "After they found out, they asked me to return to Gwangju. I don't need to tell how my father scolded me at that time. All you need to know is how I could return to you."

Donghwa's words couldn't stop surprising me.

With curiosity, I stared at him as if asking him to immediately state the reason.

"My father asked me to break up with you but I didn't want to. So, he gave me a choice between family and you. Of course, this stupid me chose you." He laughed hollowly, describing how heavy the choice was. "I knew that you would ask to break up with me if you found out about this, so I lied to you about their divorce—"

"Seriously?!" I interrupted, not expecting him to hide this stuff for years. "Ten years you hid this from me?! You—"

"Chunghee ...," Donghwa cut off my words, "Don't be angry as if you're still my lover. It hurts. I'm saying this now because I don't think we're lovers anymore, so there's no problem to say it."

I gritted my teeth, suddenly fell silent. He was right that I shouldn't be angry anymore. Both of us were nothing anymore.

Donghwa added, "But if only our relationship continues, one day I want to be honest about this. But, what can I do? Persuading you no matter how persistent I am, you will still stick to your belief."

Paused, a smile etched on his face. "You want me to go away and disappear from your life, don't you? If that's the case, I will do that. I already said that I would do anything for you — whatever it is. Because I still love you so much, your happiness is important for me."

"I can't force you .... you're right. I can't force someone who no longer wants to come back to me no matter how much I love him. The relationship will only be something awkward, right? But ...." He looked at me deeply, expressing his sincerity to his words, "If one day you change your mind, I will always accept you — I will always wait for you — forever."

Finishing his words, he laughed hollowly again for a while before his face grew somber and immediately filled with emptiness.

"But, I'm not leaving without giving you anything. At least, the treasure belongs to both of us, so I'll give 70% to you. Hoonsik will bring the letter tomorrow for you to sign. Use the money to leave Kim. You will only get heartache if you stay with him. He will marry and you will be dumped by him. Never expect loyalty from him. So, you better leave him before he has to do it one day."

I was stunned as soon as I heard those words and thought that there was no one faithful in this world. No one could be trusted. No one could keep promises. Everything would end up in grief one day. Either we leave the loved ones we had or were abandoned by them out of arguments or death.

Everyone in this world lied since they were babies and sometimes, that's what kept us alive.

Strove for happiness and went through suffering but in the end, nothing we could bring to death.

I could only laugh inside as I remembered how brilliant the concepts in this world were.

Until Donghwa spoke again and broke my mind, "Chunghee, leave him. If I can't have you, then he can't have you either."

I was stunned for a moment before shifting my body and lying down. Pulling the covers, I answered in a low voice, "Whatever decision I make is none of your business. Now, go away. Also, you don't have to give me anything. Just save your money for business and that young man, Cho Sunyeon."

"Chunghee, don't mention his name. I don't like it ...." Donghwa's tone was firm, but still sounded gentle in my ears.

As soon as I said the young man's name, I remembered something. I glanced at Donghwa while reassuring him, "Sunyeon ... the young man who had come to our apartment, right? He's a nice guy I think. I'm sure he can take good care of you."

Donghwa didn't give any response regarding what I just said. He just held my hand, then changed the conversation, "I have complied with you as compensation. Now, may I also ask something of you?"

Without saying anything, I stared at him, waiting for him to say what he wanted to ask.

"I want you to promise me to go to the hospital. Use the money I give you for your recovery and the rest for your living expenses. Every month, I'll ask Hoonsik to send you money. So, you don't need to work anymore. If you mind accepting this favor, then think of me as your... friend." He sighed for a moment, then continued, "You don't want to be with me anymore, so you have to take care of yourself. I will ask Doctor Jeong to provide the best service for you. I will take care of everything before leaving you completely."

My forehead was immediately wrinkled. I couldn't believe that he knew the doctor, I asked him to make sure, "D-do you know him?"