Under the multi-story building, I stood there for a long time, staring up at the fifth floor, smoking occasionally. It was the floor where Donghwa lived. Because today some of their belongings in his apartment were for sale, so I came to take a look.
There was a lot of cardboard piled up in the yard. Seeing them, I became curious. So I rubbed the tip of the cigarette against the car door, then walked over to the pile of cardboard.
Hoonsik said, some of the goods would be thrown away; some would be donated and the rest would be sold, then the money from the sale would be donated either.
Out of curiosity, I crouched down and opened one of the cardboards. Inside was just a bunch of paper, a few paper clips, and a broken palaroid camera. I took a piece of paper and read it.
However, when I had just read the first few sentences, I couldn't help but smile when I found out that this was a love letter.
I had known Donghwa for five years, but I never knew he was as romantic as the one in this letter.
In this letter, it said 2002. And when I opened the others, some were 2003. I closed my smile with a fist and assumed that that year he must have worked hard to get Chunghee.
Because of this, I couldn't help but mutter, "You did your best, man."
After all, Donghwa was indeed a hard worker. He would keep working for a living as well as for his love affairs. It's just, I didn't know if he was a gentle person when he talked through letters.
During this time, I knew him as apathetic and indifferent to the people around him, even if they were dying beside him. He was arrogant and tough. People only had an image of the haughty figure. Even though he was good when people got close to him and knew what his character was like, still, he was a hard-headed arrogant person. It was ingrained in him. No one could change that, not even Chunghee, his own lover.
About three years ago, he came to me, saying that there was a boy who was always chasing him. He said the boy looked like Chunghee when they were younger and joked that he had shown the boy his ring and said he already had a partner.
However, still in the same year, he came to me once again, but with a bad appearance. I asked him, "Why is your face so wrinkled?"
He, with a gloomy and angry face, replied, "I had a fight with Chunghee."
"Why?"
He was already too drunk, but he still kept drinking alcohol. Even so, he still managed to respond to me well, "I found Chunghee cuddling with someone else. I warned him not to get too close to anyone, but he really did that behind my back. Dammit. I'll kill that man. I won't hesitate to kill him for touching mine."
I didn't really care at the time, so I just said indifferently to mock him, "Then, what about you? You've slept with several women, isn't that cheating?"
I watched him, he seemed to be in a really bad mood, so I tried to advise him, "Don't be so suspicious. Park isn't that kind of person I think. That person must be a co-worker of him."
He snorted in annoyance. "That person was already clinging to him when we were in college. I didn't expect he's still that clingy to this day. Because of him, now I have to be a bad guy to Chunghee."
Frowning, I asked, "What did you do to him? Don't tell me you beat him up. You're really going too far."
"I'm just doing what your partner should do when they're jealous."
From then on, I knew that Donghwa was overprotective and possessive in a relationship. I had guessed that if one-day Donghwa didn't change those two traits in him, then his relationship with Chunghee wouldn't last much longer.
And now, it happened, didn't it?
Three years after he said that to me, they both ended up like now.
I smiled ironically.
Ever since finding out the two of them were a gay couple, I had never been bothered at all. Whoever it was, male or female, still it was love. They both were a golden couple. Chunghee, who wasn't a complainer, and Donghwa, who was stubborn. They both complement each other.
When he first introduced me to Chunghee, I could guess that Chunghee must also love him more than Donghwa knew. However, whether it was Donghwa being stupid or being insensitive, he didn't seem to see that in Chunghee. He only knew that "Chunghee is his and loves him" but didn't know how deep Chunghee loved him.
Thinking of the relationship between them, I suddenly felt funny in my heart. I didn't think there was anything more ridiculous than their relationship.
After looking at the letters, I accidentally saw a black medium-sized rectangular box in another cardboard. Curiously, I took it out after closing the previous cardboard, then opened the box. Inside was a wallet, a watch, and two silver rings — of course, they belonged to both of them.
I smiled, suddenly feeling pity. Then, I stood up, took the box to the backyard to burn. Before burning their belongings, I first looked at them one by one. Started with the wallet. There was a photo of Chunghee in it. Judging by his face, this was when he was around twenty-two to twenty-three years old. I smiled and threw it into the fireplace. Next was a watch. This had always been worn by Donghwa throughout his life, never even replaced even though he had a lot of money to buy hundreds of brands like this. But he said, Chunghee bought this for him, so he didn't want to use anything else. The last one was the couple's ring. I looked at the rings one after another and found that the color of the inner side of the ring had faded.
I just shook my head, thinking that no matter how often you say love words, it wouldn't last if it was just words without any action.
They had been in a relationship for a decade. But, it seemed their past years had been too much of a charade that this was how it all ended.
After burning it all and making sure there was nothing left, I muttered, "Rest in peace for both of you."
After that, I went back to where the belongings were, waiting for a truck to arrive.
Until a few minutes later, the truck and also Hoonsik arrived here.
When everything was loaded, I hurriedly drove to a bar where Donghwa and I often spent a break time, reminiscing about our friendship. After all, no matter how indifferent I was to him, he was still the best guy I ever had.
He was stubborn, apathetic, arrogant, and short-tempered. But, when I had a hard time, he was the only person who stood by me.
"Lee, next time, use your brain to think about how to make decisions in your love affairs. Now, what? I'm being alone because of your silly act."
***