.
‘Others just all live this way, but is it only me who doesn’t get to know who I am? Instead of realizing how precious I am through relationships, am I just recognizing my objective value?’
I was being treated as a valuable person among my family and friends; however, once I got thrown out to the world, I got to grasp that I was actually nothing than my expectations…
Wrapping my blushing cheeks with both hands, I thought, “I must have had the wrong end of the stick since I received too much love.” I might have kept deluding myself that I was enough to receive this much attention, love, and support.
I closed my eyes tightly.
‘Is it so wrong to like Ban Yeo Ryung instead of you?”
Chun Dong Ho’s words echoed around my ears. I frowned in silence.
‘Everyone would have a crush on her, not you. Don’t you think so too?’
A stupid thought… Yeo Dan oppa told me not to think about anything stupid. However, would this really be a stupid thought? What if it was me who wasn’t actually facing the truth?
A voice came over from behind me. I lifted my head. Through the pouring rays of early fall, Yeo Dan oppa came into view. He stretched out his hand and gently poke my forehead.
“I told you not to think about anything stupid.”
“Oh…”
“Don’t take it personally when those who know nothing about you shoot their mouths off.”
His words surprised me a little that I blinked swiftly.
Yoon Jung In once told me something similar to what Yeo Dan oppa just said. When I was suffering from bad rumors, he gave me a piece of advice while telling me that he also had a similar experience.
Maybe those who had some challenging times from bad rumors would have the same thought.
‘What they’re saying about me isn’t true. I’ll be able to find those who know and like the real me.’ Were people all barely tolerating such relationships combined with all kinds of misunderstandings and betrayal while having that thought?
Rambling those things in my head, I rubbed the part of my forehead where Yeo Dan oppa poked just now.
However, my mind kept wandering. When things like this happened, I couldn’t even trust the kind advice given by my people.
What if I was neglecting others’ fair criticism since I only wanted to hear something good? What if I was deluding myself that I was qualified to become cherished?
‘Who would like you?’
What if I was ignoring the objective truth and living in my false hope?
The moment when I murmured those things to myself, something cold touched my cheek out of the blue. With my eyes wide open, I saw Yeo Dan oppa’s face that came so close to me before I even knew. Rolling my eyes, I found out what just touched my cheek.
It was a bottle of chocolate milk, the thing that he often handed out to me since middle school, high school, and even a few days ago while taking it out from his backpack.
Suddenly bursting into laughter, I reached out my hand to get the milk and murmured, “Oh my god… Did you go there so urgently…?”
That was when I tried to complete the sentence, saying, ‘… to just get this thing?’ Yeo Dan oppa intervened in my words.
“You know, I’m not taking care of my backpack so much.”
His sudden remark soon made me nod my head. What he just said was true. When he tried to fight with someone, he first put his backpack down, which was almost throwing it onto the ground. At that moment, I often wondered if the things inside his bag were okay.
His response returned as if he read my thought, “So, the bottle of milk almost exploded and splashed a few times in my bag.”
“What?”
I furrowed my brows at the story I had never heard before. Oh, Lord, how could the milk explode in the bag? That was one of the three most annoying things that could happen in school. Besides, if the milk splashed on our school uniform, we could just wash it away; however, if that happened in our bag, other things inside would also turn wet and messy. Whenever we opened our textbook, the bad odor would interrupt the student sitting beside us, therefore. Recalling a memory in elementary school, I squinted my eyes.
The reason why I came up with the memory of my elementary school year was that I got disgusted at the bottle of milk from a similar incident and gave up the pleasure of drinking it while adding a pack of cocoa powder to it.
That was when Yeo Dan oppa continued, “But I like you as much as I keep bringing that stuff for you.”
“…”
“So… don’t think about anything stupid.”
A moment of silence swept the space.
Blinking my eyes, I looked at him in a daze. Meanwhile, his hand, which was in the air equivocally while losing where to go, soon touched my head. Standing still for a while, I suddenly lifted my hand and placed it on top of his hand.
I replied like a murmur, “Fine.”
“Cool.”
“… But, next time, don’t bring it.”
‘I feel sorry for your bag.’ That was what I tried to add; however, my throat felt suddenly hot as if I was choked with tears, so I stopped to say so. Watching me slowly hiding my eyes with the back of my hand, Yeo Dan oppa patted my head.
The refreshing fall breeze scattered my hair, and his hand, which was subtler than the gentle wind, kept touching my head.
Yeo Dan oppa uttered, “Though you didn’t dress like that because of those bastards, you look too fine to just return home…” He added, “Would you like to hang out with me then?”
Pouting my lips for quite a while, I drew a deep breath and nodded my head desperately as if I forgot how to speak. His hand came closer and grabbed mine firmly. We then left the alley in the showering sunlight.
As soon as we entered the movies, a sweet popcorn smell waved into me. Instead of looking at the popcorn stand, I quickly checked the seats left.
I was a little concerned since it was the weekend; however, there were several seats left than my expectations maybe because it was two or three on Saturday afternoon. Still, those could be taken soon. Feeling nervous, I pulled out a ticket number from the machine before deciding what to see. That was when I began to read the movie titles and each of their synopsis. Suddenly, something flashed through my head––it was my first time to go to the movies with only Yeo Dan oppa.
I went to the movie theater with him when Ban Yeo Ryung and I were freshmen in middle school. We had nothing to do around that time, so Yeo Dan oppa brought us to the movies while holding each of our hands. According to Ban Yeo Ryung and my taste of genres, we watched some action movies. At that time, Ban Yeo Ryung still preferred anything that featured something exploding, breaking, and flying around. So did I.
I mean, I could, at least, pay attention to some romance movies; however, Ban Yeo Ryung wasn’t at all. One time, someone in our class played a classic romance movie, but she began to doze off while resting her chin on her palm then buried her head onto the desk eventually.
Watching her reactions, I wondered, ‘Well, since she has a sibling, who looks like a male lead in a romance novel, her life will be a romance movie itself. Thus, why would she pay attention to those stories? It’s like a person with supernatural powers getting bored to hero movies…’
Anyway, Yeo Dan oppa was always considerate of Yeo Ryung and me, so I had no idea what type of movie he enjoyed.
The moment I tried to turn my head toward him and detach my lips, the number on the board turned into seventy-two. Checking the same number on my ticket, I quickly pulled Yeo Dan oppa and walked toward the booth. ‘Gosh, I didn’t decide what to watch yet!’ I murmured to myself while clicking my tongue.
The female staff asked politely with a smile, “May I assist you with the film?”
“Let’s see what you want to watch, oppa.”
As soon as I flung that question, Yeo Dan oppa shook his head. Pointing at the monitor with his chin, he said, “Choose what you want to see.”
“No, just tell me what you want to see. I’m really fine.”
“Me, too. I don’t care.”
“Oppa, come on. Unlike Yeo Ryung, I enjoy watching any genres. I don’t care if it’s a romance movie.”
“You want to see a romance movie?”
“No, that’s not what I’m talking…”
Listening to our conversation, the beautiful, female staff soon wrinkled up her forehead.