5 Chapter 3

It is almost surprisingly easy to settle into a routine.

I barely leave the room so the only people I have contact with are my husband and the child.

Still, I'm not so foolish as to think that the only people staying in this house are those I've met.

Occasionally my husband and the child try to convince me to meet the other rebels.

I always refuse.

I can see that my husband thinks I'm doing it to be spiteful, but that's not the case.

In truth it's because I'm afraid.

I don't want to see them look at me with fear or even worse - hope.

I can't help but wonder how my father would have reacted in my situation.

Not like it matters.

My father was loyal to the King.

In this position he'd either take out the leader of the rebellion or pretend to join them only to betray them later.

Neither of those options are something I can do.

I pull my knees to my chest.

All I really want is to go home.

To see Kent and Arabella and reclaim my estate and title.

But I'll never be able to do that - not as long as I'm supposed to be dead.

To that end helping these rebels is probably my best option, but…

Will I ever be able to live with the knowledge that others would have to die to grant my selfish wish?

No, better to do nothing.

I hastily rearrange myself on the bed when I hear a knock.

If my husband finds out just how conflicted I am, he will use it against me.

"Come in."

He enters before I even finish speaking.

I tense at the worry that seems to be radiating off him.

"What's wrong?"

He starts at my words - almost as if surprised I was in the room.

A foolish notion seeing as I barely left it.

"Someone paid House Auron a visit recently."

I shrug, trying to project an air of indifference.

"That's no surprise - people will want to size up the new Lady Auron. Kent will make sure nothing bad happens."

"Will he?"

His worry shifts to rage.

"His loyalty is to House Auron - that's not going to change just because I'm no longer it's head. He'll make sure the new Lady Auron is beyond reproach."

"Then why would he allow someone of questionable repute entry?"

He wouldn't.

There's obviously something being left out.

"Exactly what do you mean by questionable repute?"

"Oh, you know - a - a lady of the night!"

My eyebrows nearly disappear into my hair.

Kent and a prostitute?

If not a prostitute - then someone dressed like one, but who would -?

Oh.

Her.

"This 'Lady of the Night', did she by any chance have a necklace?"

"What does that matter?"

"I guess it doesn't."

The chances of anyone recognising her are slim and as long as no one does - Kent and Arabella are still safe.

It was reckless to invite her in, definitely, but not nearly as reckless as it would have been to be seen in public with her.

"It won't happen again. She was probably only there to make sure I was dead."

She's probably already on her way back to her isolated mountains.

That was probably the wrong thing to say.

I can see the moment he realises she wasn't just a prostitute.

"Sonia, who was that?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Dammit, Sonia, my sister could be in trouble!"

The worry is back ten-fold.

Still telling the truth will only make things worse.

"She's a ghost of the past. That's all."

I can see that he doesn't believe me.

I don't really care.

It's not my job to reassure or coddle him.

Heck, now that I'm "dead" it's not my job to do anything.

I turn my back on him, not willing to discuss this any further.