20 Chapter 13

When I go to check on Kent the next morning he isn't there.

I'm not surprised.

He never did know when to take it easy.

I let out an exasperated sigh before going in search of him.

It doesn't take me long to find him.

He's in the common room helping to serve breakfast.

I take a seat, acutely aware that this is the first time I've ever actually eaten in the common room.

He nods at me in acknowledgement before continuing to hand out plates of food.

I glance around to see Arabella and Adrian absorbed in conversation with my husband watching over them fondly.

Larcen is at one end distractedly picking at his food.

Helena is once again nowhere to be seen.

Knowing her, she's probably still at the war room.

She may not have been his daughter but she sure picked up a lot of my father's bad habits.

I can still recall how we had to practically force him to eat and sleep when he was obsessing over creating a perfect strategy.

I grab hold of Kent's wrist when he makes to hand me a plate .

He tenses, but does not struggle, knowing that doing so would risk dropping the food.

"Sit with me?"

It's a question not a command.

I'm not Lady Auron right now and even if I was…

After what I put him through he has every right to be as angry as Arabella was.

More even.

He hesitates for a moment before giving a terse nod.

He waits until I take the plate from him before settling down stiffly beside me.

"You're not going to eat?"

I try to keep the question light.

"It's not my place to eat in the presence of my master."

The words are soft and rehearsed.

He's not pleased with me and using his position as a wall between us.

It's certainly not the first time, but it still hurts.

"You and I both know that's a crappy excuse. If you're angry with me just say it so we can get past this. Yes, I didn't tell you I was alive, but I didn't have much contact with anyone after I was rescued."

I keep my voice low to avoid attracting attention.

This is hardly the place to cause a scene.

"You're right. I'm furious with you, but not for the reasons you seem to think."

Not for the reasons I…?

Oh.

He knows.

"She told you."

Another terse nod.

The tension between us feels so thick that I'm surprised people aren't choking on it.

"You're using me as a pawn to force her to do what you want."

His voice is low and controlled.

Too controlled.

"It doesn't matter who suggested it. The point is that we're now all in an untenable position. Whether the king falls or not things will never go back to how they were."

The finality in his words chills me.

"Things aren't that bad."

The words sound hollow even to my ears.

"Aren't they? Our chances of surviving this are slim, but even if we do - what then? Who will lead the people? What will make things better? Chaos will erupt in the streets. It will be anarchy. Exactly what will keep people in check?"

I have no response to that.

To be honest I hadn't thought about it much.

I've been trying to think in the present.

"I'm sure Larcen has a plan..."

I'm not.

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Not really.

But I feel the need to defend my actions.

"You better hope that he does or the future you're striving so hard for may just be worse than the present."