166 Because of You

The light in the kitchen was warm, casting a glow around the space and giving off a very calming ambiance.

Gael gathered Angela in his arms, pressing their bodies together like they were each other's air. She sank into him, her embrace letting him know that she needed this as much as he did. The way his hand caressed her head gave her relief as if everything would be okay without him even saying a word. She let him hold her tight and felt his kiss on the side of her head. With his strong arms holding her in place, she felt safe.

She'd held back and thought she could ignore him for a day or two and give herself some time to breathe, but she wasn't as tough as she thought she was. The moment she decided to hold his hand tonight and introduce him to her father, the moment she agreed to let him bring her home, the moment they walked through the door to her apartment, and the moment he placed his arms around her… She knew she was a goner.

His familiar scent permeated her nose, and she wanted to bottle it up so she could keep it for herself when he wasn't with her. Oh, my god. Gael was hugging her—Angela suddenly felt like a teenager, and her crush was making a move on her. She suppressed a chuckle at her thoughts, realizing how silly she was getting. Gael made her silly even at a time like this.

They stayed in the same position longer than 'friends' should. Coffee was ready minutes ago, but neither of them moved. He palmed her head, his fingertips slowly working her scalp. She struggled to keep herself from letting out a moan. It felt so good, she didn't want it to end.

Angela had to will herself to keep her thoughts at bay. He came here to talk. She decided she should start. "I didn't expect tonight to go like it did. I've agreed with my father to go on dates to get him off my back so he won't force me to work in the company and I can focus on writing my books for the project I'm working on. Now, I'm finally finishing it, so I just thought...I'd end the agreement with him too. I'm honestly sick of meeting these men I have no interest in."

They pulled back slightly, but their arms remained around each other.

She sighed. "Then I impulsively told him I was seeing someone. I didn't think...I just…"

"Were you thinking of me?" asked Gael, and when she didn't answer, he continued, "You told me you were reading my text when you told him that. Were you thinking of me, Angel?"

She refused to look at him, so she kept her stare at the collar of his shirt and nodded. It was the truth. She was thinking about him at that time. "But I'm still mad about last night. It's funny that I can't let it go but it's been eating me up whenever I remember it." She withdrew her hands and circled them around her stomach. "It's not just about what we didn't do..."

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was awake since you pulled out front." He took a deep breath and slowly released it. "Seeing you with him that night and you coming home telling me you're happy… I… I don't know what came over me. Next thing I knew, I followed you upstairs and found you in the bathroom. You were so beautiful in that dress and it killed me that you wore it for him."

Angela turned to face him, taking in the soft light behind him that created a halo above his head. His steely-grey eyes caressed her face, and she swallowed at the intensity they gave her. His admittance was unexpected, and she was unprepared. "I didn't wear it for him. I wore it for myself."

Gael shrugged. "I was a little intoxicated that night. I swore I'd never drink—at least not the hard stuff. But I got carried away while I sat for hours waiting for you to come home. One glass became a whole bottle. You also drank."

"Yeah… I felt like drinking that night."

A muscle on his jaw ticked. "I didn't want to take advantage of you."

Angela narrowed her eyes at him. "How gentlemanly of you."

Turning his body to face her, he swept his eyes over her and it on her lips. "Trust me. My thoughts were nowhere near gentle."

What did he expect her to feel after saying that? She bit her bottom lip, thinking about what could have been. He wasn't even touching her at the moment, yet a shot of current traveled down her body, and her breath kicked up.

Gael cleared his throat, moving on from that when her face flushed. He inched closer, looking away, and then meeting her eyes again. His mouth opened and closed as if he wanted to say something but was having a hard time coming with words. Then he shut his eyes briefly, and when he opened them again, he heaved out a sigh. He seemed to really struggle with his words. 

"There's a lot of things I can't tell you. But I want you to know, what I said...you're not a disappointment. Never."

Her lips tightened. "So what did you mean last night?

"Things are complicated right now—with my family. And I wish there was an easy way to everything, but that's reality. Nothing is ever easy. In my dreams, however...there are no complications. No worries. There aren't things that are keeping me from doing what I really want."

Angela raised her hand and placed it on his chest where his heart was supposed to be. "What is it that you want?" 

His jaw ticked, and he pressed his lips in a tight line. It dawned on her that the things he wanted were also things that he couldn't tell her. 

She lowered her hand, disappointed that he was keeping it from her. "What are you doing back here in Mayne, Gael? I'm afraid to ask that and I don't know what I want to hear—actually, I do know, but I don't think I can—"

"I'm here because of you, Angel." Gael cupped her face, his thumb brushing her cheek as his gaze held hers. "You."