Chapter 106 - Frozen In Time

Feng Xuan had given an address to Qing Chen and when the morning came, they were both on their way. It was a two-hour drive from Chengshi and Feng Xuan had fallen asleep on the passenger's seat and didn't wake until they reached the destination. They had come to visit Feng Xuan's mother.

He immediately inhaled the saltiness of the air and the soft sound of the waves coming to the shore. It was a small beach house painted in faded blue-green and yellow. Feng Xuan produced a set of keys and opened the front door. "My mom asked this from my father after they got married. She used to retreat here when the city life got too much to her."

The room was filled with furnitures covered in white cloth, pictures lined the walls. There was a small kitchen and a tiny dining area. The backdoor lead to the beach. Upstairs, there was a bedroom.

Feng Xuan got out of the house. "Are you going to come with me?"

"You have your moment first," he answered and gave her an encouraging smile.

"Okay," she breathed out and Qing Chen recognized the tightness in her voice. 

He surveyed the pictures he saw earlier. Feng Xuan was a really round baby. Her short arms and legs were like small sausages. Her nose had always been little and her eyes were big from the start. He turned to the other picture and saw that it was one of Feng Xuan and her mom. Qing Chen inclined his head. To say that they looked alike was an understatement. It was like she was the photocopy of her mom. Wide smile and bright eyes. The shape of their noses and the way their lips curved were the same.

Just what did Feng Xuan got from her father? Oh right, Qing Chen shook his head. She got his mind and taste for the mafia matters. Just until she forgot about everything.

Qing Chen waited for a few more minutes before he got out of the house and walked towards his wife. "May I sit with you?"

"Yeah," Feng Xuan laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. 

He sat down and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "What's your favorite memory of your mom?"

Feng Xuan took a strained breath. "I have a lot but if I were to choose one, she had a princess house made for me when I was five. In our backyard we had a huge tree and with my father's help, they made a small space up there. We painted it ourselves, bought a small mattress and pillows, got old teacups from the house. On summer days, she and I would come up and read books. We even had our own little writing club wherein we'd write alternative endings for the books we just read."

Feng Xuan sniffed. "My favorite alternate ending she made was a princess story. The princess had been in the tallest tower and was guarded by a dragon. She waited everyday for someone to come rescue her. Until she had enough of waiting and took a sword from an armor statue and slew the dragon herself. She came back to her kingdom and when her parents asked where was her prince charming was, she said 'I don't need any man to save me'. A lot questioned her ability to ascend. But everyone who contested her, she defeated in battles of champions. She was the first queen who sat on a king's throne."

Qing Chen smiled. "That's a great story."

"Yeah, I took that little book when I got my stuff from my father's house. My evil step-mother had the huge tree pulled out and put a gazebo in its place. This," she said. "This is her only place. The one that was still hers and no one could touch. It was only fitting that she wanted her ashes scattered here."

Qing Chen tightened his arm around hers. "We should visit her more often."

"Yeah, I'd like that," she answered, hugging her knees. "What about you? Where's your mom?"

"She's at home. My father had a small columbarium made for her." Qing Chen had always visited his mother whenever he was home, but he hadn't been able to face her ever since breaking his promise to her. The promise of not hurting other people. 

"What's your favorite memory?"

Qing Chen sighed. He did not even have to choose. He knew just which one. Growing up, he had to share his mother with his two other siblings. They made it a point that each of them would have to spend time with their parents alone—to create a stronger bond. His favorite had been a bridge between his father and mother.

"My father bought me those woodworking kits," he began, the images still vivid in his head. "He got me about twelve of those, all planes just as he knew I wanted to be a pilot then. I spent the whole afternoon trying to piece them all together. It was after dinner when my mom saw me, she asked me if I wanted to paint them. We went out of the house with her spray cans and brushes. She made the outlines of the things I wanted and let me color them. We had an eagle, a shark, a dolphin, a whale, a snow leopard among the few. I gave her the biggest one and told her she could paint it however she wanted.

It was around three in the morning when we finished painting. I was completely satisfied with my handiwork, but when I saw hers I knew it was my favorite. The colors were dark and three little kids in white were carrying lanterns in the garden where flowers were at their full bloom at night. On the other side, it was our whole family in that garden. So intricate, and so life-like."

He breathed out. "I asked her if I could keep it and she just kissed my forehead. I stared at it on my bedside everyday before I fell asleep. I gave it back to her when she died. It's in her columbarium." It was only fitting that he gave it back. After all, their perfect little family fell apart when she died. It only remained in that small painting on his plane. Forever frozen in time.

They were filled with moments of silence before Feng Xuan said, "Our moms were cool, weren't they?"

"Yeah, they were." He pressed a kiss on her forehead. "She would've loved to meet you."

"Really?" she smiled, her nose red and eyes bloodshot. 

"Yeah, you're soft and gentle." For now. But he knew his mother would've been happy for him either way.

Feng Xuan pulled away from him a little. "I would hate to die early. I would want to meet my children's partners so I'd know they married well. Only then would I be able to rest in peace."

Qing Chen could not help the anxiousness that stroke his heart as he wrapped his arms around Feng Xuan. He stumped it down with his foot in his mind. "I'll make sure we don't die early. Whatever it takes."