Of all the memories that she could remember at that moment, that was the one that made its way to her brain. Her first kill. She thought that it would be easy then. She was going to beat up the escaped prisoner until he died. Little did she know that people die far less slower in real life than in the movies.
She was out of breath and her muscles were aching. All of her body was in pain. It was like energy was flowing out of her and onto the floor. She was feeling like jelly, barely managing to move but she continued to punch the man's already bloodied face.
She didn't want to do it. She thought that the man must have some humanity left inside of him and would not hurt a girl her age. But he was out for the kill. He attacked her the moment that the ring's door closed behind her. He was ready to kill her. She had no choice but to do it.
"Just die already," she whispered.
Sweat dripped from her, mixed with the iron smell of the red liquid that was pooling behind the man's head.
"You know," said The Marshall who had been rounding the ring since they started. "You have to make it easier for him. He's not going to die like that."
Feng Xuan tried to follow him with her eyes but either her brain processing was getting too slow or he was walking too fast.
"Finish it," he told her. "Put your hands on his throat. End it all. Then you can rest."
Rest, she thought out. That sounded nice. In her mind, there was already the ice-filled tub and an iced drink. She should get a massage after this.
"What are you waiting for?"
"O-okay." Her throat was scratchy. Oh she was dying for that water. Her hands moved to the man's neck and squeezed. In her mind, she was just begging to stop. For everything to stop. But she was the only one who could make it all over.
"I'm sorry," she whispered to him.
There was little life left from the man after the long minutes inside the ring. He lost much of his blood. Feng Xuan was covered in it. The man jerked underneath her but his eyes remained on her face until the last moment.
"Is he dead?"
Feng Xuan felt for pulse under her palms. No more. "Yes," she breathed out. Then she dropped to the floor. She was thinking about the cold drinks and the cold bath, but when her eyes closed, they didn't open again until the next day.
====
Now she was staring at the old man, kneeling in front of her like she was some deity that could save his life. If she was not going to kill him, surely, Ma Min was going to do it anyway. She was not someone he should be praying to.
"I…I," her voice sounded more clear. "I don't think I can," she said and sniffed.
From the corner of her eyes, she saw Ma Min scratched the side of her head. "You can't?"
She shook her head. There was no denying it. She could not squeeze the trigger. Even her first kill had a reason. She was not the kind of person who could pass this kind of judgement. Because who was she to judge? She was not a perfect human being either.
She passed the gun to Ma Min who gave her a small smile. "It's okay."
Ma Min took over her place and she got her first lungful of air. "I just believe you are going to regret that you're not the one who ended this man's life, Xuan." Ma Min aimed. "He's a horrible, horrible human being."
"Please, please! I beg y—"Find authorized novels in , faster updates, better experience, Please click <a href="#'s-rose-married-the-ceo_15939261805465305/we're-not-bad-people_52753189837006383">#'s-rose-married-the-ceo_15939261805465305/we're-not-bad-people_52753189837006383</a> for visiting.
The man never got to finish his sentence. In a split second, he was on the floor. His blood sprayed a little on his couch and on the wall.
"I'll be right back," said Ma Min and put the gun back on the holster. "Can you ruffle things up? We have to make this look like a robbery. And take some of the things that you think are of value."
Feng Xuan did her best to put some items in the man's bag, which he had been ruffling just moments ago when he thought that they were robbing him. She tossed things and broke a few plates and glasses from his messy table.
Ma Min emerged from the bedroom. "You good?"
"Yeah," Feng Xuan said and pointed on the stuffed bag. "Are we leaving?"
"Nope. Not yet." Ma Min grabbedd a sheet of paper and a pen. She wrote in bold letters:
FOUND THIS WHILE TRYING TO FIND SOME TREASURES. DON'T TELL ME HE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE.
Ma Min put the note on top of the dead man's chest.
"What are you—?"
Ma Min shoved a box in Feng Xuan's way. "Just look inside. Don't talk."
She flipped the box open and fell to her knees. Inside were pictures. Most were in polaroid and there were CDs as well, labeled with names.
"This man was a janitor from an orphanage. I think you get the idea on what he do to the kids there."
Feng Xuan almost started crying from there again. Ma Min was right, she wished she had been the one who killed this man. Her eyes darted over and over to the kid's bruised bodies. Purple and blue. Some of them were stripped off clothes. Some had the head shots of kids, fear was evident from their eyes, and told her that this was not the first time that it happened.
"You wouldn't want to play what's on the CDs," Ma Min said.
Her hands were shaking as she covered it again and placed the box beside the man. Ma Min's arm rounded her shoulders. "We're not bad people, Xuan. Sometimes, we're the one who serves the best kind of justice."