Chapter 7.1

Blood was gushing out. Pain struck my whole body and elicited a deep, heavy dizziness in my mind. Doesn’t the pain subside if a lot of blood flows out? Coulnd’t it slowly all go away? I should have killed all the sons of bitches before they had the chance. Why didn’t I do it? I am supposed to have left no stones unturned to prevent future troubles.

Alleyway. Not a soul in sight. Perhaps if someone passed by, they could call for help.

I just got robbed and stabbed. They will laugh when they hear this. They don’t make mistakes. Something is amiss. There must be a connection!

Right, I killed their boss. I didn’t think revenge would be like this. Such a flimsy plan, attacking someone from behind with a knife in an alleyway. Tsk tsk. Perhaps my body will be found and dumped at the hospital, and marked as a Jane Doe. But the killer won’t know I am dead, so why not plan a proper killing? Nobody would know she was gone.

I didn’t purposefully sever ties. I have never thought of severing ties with you. Please understand me. I truly enjoy talking with you. I dreamt of you and I….

Whenever you called, the world was brighter. I felt alive. I don’t feel like killing people anymore because I am finding all these emotions within me. They all die, one way or another. I see their faces, they don’t know they have been duped and attacked. Cheated. The shock, then their fear, then a plea for escape. Their movement ceases and their life from their faces disappear. And I get paid. That was it.

You were the only one who took away the bleakness from my life. You coloured my life. And you will never know. I was nothing but just a criminal in your eyes. I wanted to be more for you. I wanted a space in your memory, your heart. I only hope you remember me, even a little.

“You wanted to prosecute me, right?” asked Kim Eun-seo

“Well, I did send you to the prosecution. Though the police sent you back in the end due to lack of substantial evidence,” he said, “Police don’t really want a case that lacks any conclusive evidence.”

“And you did it while knowing all that?” she asked.

“There was only one thing. Lots of suspicious investigations,” he relied, “I thought it would be worth it if I joined with such people. Though it all eventually fell apart.”

“Did you want to put me in jail?” she asked.

“Well… You could say I was on the fence about it,” he said, “I didn’t want to throw you in there without substantial evidence. However, I do know you’re not the one to leave any noticeable evidence behind.”

He laughed. His awkward laugh was nice to hear since he hardly ever laughed when he worked. Even so, he laughed when he was with her. That was enough for her.

“So what happened today?” she asked.

“Um, it’s a bit… vague. Clearly, the son is the culprit. He killed his mother to seek inheritance,” he said, “But at the time of the murder, he was out working, and there was no evidence of anyone else being with her. It looks like suicide. Everybody just wanted to wrap it up like that, but…”

“Hmm, can you show me the photo?” she asked.

“I’m not supposed to do that,” he said.

“If you were going to say no, you shouldn’t have called me,” she retorted.

“That is true,” he obliged.

Just say it was a pretense so you could see me, said Kim Eun-seo inwardly. She sighed and held out her hand. He took out a file book from his bag and handed it to her.

“Hm. Do you want an honest opinion, or should I say it in moderation for the love of humanity?” she asked.

“Tell me in a way that will help solve this case,” he said.

“It will not be helpful,” she said.

“Shit. That’s what it looked like,” he sighed. “So he might go free.”

“Right. Seriously, I’m never having children,” she said,  “It won’t be healthy for me or the child.. Sacrificing myself for a child, that’s something that I cannot do.”

“You deserve to because your parents did it, too,” he said.

She scoffed. “And you’re a detective?” she asked, “Can you sacrifice yourself if you had a child?”

“I can’t have children,” he said and laughed awkwardly. 

He looked at him. How could a man who got divorced from his wife, because she wanted a child and he couldn’t, laugh? She didn’t know why children were so important that it would become a hindrance between two people. She couldn’t even understand why people bothered with marriage, for that matter. If he was married to her, she would just be content  being with me, since she didn’t want any children anyway.