Chapter 42 - Relax

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(From Ella's Perspective)

"Promise?"

"Promise," he said.

He placed me in the pool and the water immediately became red where I sat as the blood in my dress got mixed with the water. I gulped and brought my knees to my chest.

I did not know he would do that until he truly did it. He sat beside me in the pool, still wearing his black shirt and pants, and pulled me closer to him that my head rested on his chest as his arm wrapped around me, keeping me in place and making me feel safe.

"Don't ask," I said. I knew that he would start asking me about what happened, but I was not ready to answer any of them. I needed my hands to stop shaking first, I needed my mind to stop racing, I needed my breathing to become even and I did not want to feel like I was drifting away, not again.

I clutched him tightly as if he was the balance that I needed. Perhaps he was. His pale skin looked even beautiful as it got drenched in water. He pulled his hand away that was around me, disappointing me. Was he going away? Was he going to leave me here?

I looked up at him in confusion, but he did not leave. His eyes did not meet my eyes either. He took both of my hands in his large hands and braced them in a firm but comforting hold. He rubbed his thumbs over my knuckled and his eyes met mine. I found something so soothing in those dark eyes that I forgot how to breathe.

"Relax," he said, his voice low, but not as cold as before. It was hypnotic, making me obey as my muscles and mind relaxed, looking for something in his eyes.

I pressed my head against his hard chest again, averting my gaze away from him, fearing that I would fall deeper into the maze of secrets of his eyes.

We stayed there for a very long time. I truly could relax this time. This seemed to have a stronger effect on me than the song. I breathed steadily as his thumbs kept circling my knuckles. My hands had stopped shaking as a result of the magic work of his thumbs.

"A lot of things happened, Leandro. I couldn't do anything... I tried, but I couldn't," I mumbled. But the pain in my chest did not seem to be as severe as before. This time I felt as if I could endure it.

He wrapped his left arm around me while his right hand held both of my hands. He pulled me even closer to him even though there was not much of a space left between us.

"Jed and I were preparing to leave the castle. Then I heard the screaming of a girl. I couldn't just walk away. It felt so evil to leave her like that and do nothing. But Jed did not want to do anything. He didn't want to get in trouble. So I told him to leave and that I will talk to the cook. It was a lie, of course. No cook would want to talk to me. Anyway, so I met your brother. He is not as handsome as you, but that's not the point," I said. Even I was losing my mind thinking of the way I was talking. But I could not help it.

"Continue," he said.

"Well, then when the route was clear, I made my way down to the dungeon. Did I tell you that the screams were coming from there and your brother had gotten out of the dungeon as well? Maybe, I didn't. Anyway, so I went down there..."

"You went down the dungeon? Alone?" he asked.

"What else could I have done? There was no one who would come with me," I protested. "Then I found Rosaire there. She is one of the slaves Edrich brought with him. She was your brother's slave. I found her whipped badly. She was bleeding. She was_ raped as well. And she was stabbed too, I guess."

"You tried to take her throughout the secret passageway there?"

"Of course, I tried. But she was a bit heavy. I mean, no offence, but I'm too petite. She was weak as well. I could not save her. She died, right in my arms. I-I tried, I swear."

"I know you did," he said soothingly.

"I need to eat properly. I need to be strong so I can carry them out," I said.

He sighed and placed his chin over my head. I ran my fingers on his chest without knowing why. It seemed to feel good.

"Leandro!" I exclaimed, suddenly realizing that I did not know the most important thing. "You didn't tell me what you did to the Orgades. What did you do? Did you kill them? Did you rip their heads off? Did you smack them across the face? Of course, you couldn't smack them. You were in your monster form, right? The monster can't smack, right? It would look super weird if he smacked. What did you do then? Tell me. Why are you quiet? Did you cut their tongues? Are your teeth sharp enough to do that? Why aren't you telling me anything?"

"How can I talk when you aren't stopping even for a second?"

"Oh, sorry. But you gotta tell me everything. What did you do to them?"

"I told you already that I killed them," he replied as if it was a very normal thing to do.

"I know you did. But details, I want details."

"Ella, I was in my monster form. I don't remember anything that I do in that form."

"Oh, I forgot," I muttered. "But you're okay, right? Is there a scratch on your body? A single one? Did they manage to do anything? Anything at all?"

"If they could, I wouldn't be here with you, would I?"

"You have a point there. And besides, I knew that they won't be able to do anything to you. You were scared," I said.

He laughed. "Is that so? Or was I dreaming when I saw that worried face of yours? Who was asking me again and again- 'What are you going to do, Leandro?' 'Do you remember the time?'" he said mimicking my voice.

"Shut up!" I could not help but laugh as well.

He suddenly stopped laughing, deep in thought, and so was I. "How did you know that I would be there?"

"I guessed," he said.

"You're lying."

"I don't lie, Ella."

I knew he meant what he said. He did not lie and I believed him. I wished he would do the same.

"Ella?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm... I'm sorry," he said and I could not be more shocked. "I'm sorry for saying that horrible thing in the morning."

"You mean, you trust me?" I asked excitedly. Even I did not know why I was feeling like I had gotten the moon in my hand.

"Don't get too excited," he said coldly, but smiled. It was enough for me. I was sure now that he trusted me. I wanted him to trust me fully all this time though I did not know why.

"By the way, I chocked Jed."

"What?" I asked, shaken.

"I thought he has done something to you," he said and then added, seeing the look on my face, "No, he is not dead, Ella."

"Why would you just go and try to chock him? You could hear him out first."

"Do guilty confess something without any threat or something like that?"

"He is just Jed, Leandro."

"A boy who you barely know but still calling him a friend for some reason and also slept with him," he said.

I laughed. "Slept with him? Why would I sleep with him? He is my friend, more like a brother. And moreover, he is gay."

He looked at me, surprised. I got confused. "What? Gay- don't you know gay? Homosexual... gay means homosexual. It means people with same sex interest. You know what I mean? They..."

"I know what it means, Ella," he said calmly and I heard a chuckle. His chin moved as well that was rested on my head and I was sure that he was laughing. But why?

"Am I funny?" I asked.

"No, it's just... You can tell that friend of yours that he can be assured of not getting hit by me anymore if he keeps on being gay."

"You're weird, Leandro," I mumbled. "Anyway, I think I'll get changed."

"Do you need help?"

"To get change? Of course not, I'm fine," I said.

He was already doing more than necessary for me. He had been here with me when I needed him the most. Because of him, I managed to keep my balance tonight and did not faint. My mind had become clearer now though the girl's death still shook me. But I wanted to forget it. I did not want to keep her in my mind and let her words haunt me. I needed to believe that I tried, I tried enough. There was nothing more that I could do.. I just needed to make sure that from now on, I was not going to fail to save someone.

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