Chapter 50 - You Called For This

(From Ella's Perspective)

"Good. Come on now and don't ask any questions," he said and backed away. I did not like the way he was sometimes getting near me and in the next moment, he was backing away. 

"Just do one thing whatever you do. Come near and don't go. And if you want to go, then don't come near in the first place. Stop playing with my mind and body. It's confusing." 

But I could not tell him that. How could I? Or he would think that I liked him. It was true that I did. But I was not sure if he did too. And I did not want this kind of thing to be one-sided. 

We walked more into the forest, taking so many turns that I lose track, but he seemed to know exactly where we were going. 

"It's not a road."

"Of course, it's not a road. It's a forest," he said.

"No, I mean, how are you so sure that you're going the right away? Everything here seems the same. Look at the trees. Do you find any difference?"

"Just follow me. I know where I'm going," he said dismissively. 

"Of course you do," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Did you say something?"

"No," I said quickly. 

"Good." 

We walked for two hours. My legs were hurting, but he was not stopping at all. He seemed as if he did not get tired at all. 

"Do you need to stop?" he asked.

"Why do you say that?" 

"You look like you're going to fall."

"No. I'm fine!" I said louder than necessary. I did not want to look weak in front of him. I never wanted to look weak in front of anyone. And besides, I was kind of excited to see where he was taking me. Even though my curiosity had gotten me in trouble sometimes, it still helped me get rid of tiredness. 

Walking faster than him was hard as his legs were too long and he went too far on one step though I had to admit that he was kind of handsome with those long legs, unlike Linda's friend. I had to run to go ahead of him. 

I did not know for how long I ran. Well, I practically ran and walked at the same time. I would have run all the way, but I wanted to annoy him too while trying to scare him from different places. But he was not scared at all. I tried so hard, but I always ended up meeting a cold unchanged face, but there was something in his eyes... It kind of looked like amusement. 

"So childish," he commented, shaking his head.

"What are you then? Old? Grandpa?" I rolled my eyes. 

"At least, this old man can do things better than those so-called young men," he said proudly. 

"Huh! What things?"

"Do you want me to show you?" 

"Show what? It's not like you can show anything here," I said. 

"You sure about what you're saying? You sure you want to see?" he asked, kind of dangerously. But I was still curious. I wondered what he was talking about. He could not be talking about something bad, right?

"Fine. Show me if you can," I said. 

"You called for this," he said and before I knew what he was talking about, he pulled me towards him by my waist and pressed his lips on mine. 

It seemed to be so long since I felt like this... I saw stars, those bright ones that always shone in the night sky, not those ones that blinked every now and then. My heart was almost coming out of my chest. It felt like I needed to keep it in place with my hand. And his lips... they were the ones I held onto. 

He tightened his grip around my waist, pulling me towards him. His lips seemed to be made in the exact way to fit my lips, the perfect ones and the only ones that could make me feel like I was in heaven. Too bad I had never been in heaven before, but this time, it seemed like he was the one who could take me to heaven even if it meant he had to leave his place, the hell. 

Even though I liked him, I would never disagree that he was from hell. Perhaps sometimes hell made someone feel better when heaven was out of reach. 

Subconsciously I wrapped my arms around his neck. Not even for once, I had rejected his kiss. But why was I doing this? Perhaps I knew the answer already, but I was not ready to accept it, I was not ready to_ confess it. 

My eyes were dizzy as they were almost shut. It was like I was in a rollercoaster of emotions with nowhere to run but to endure. It was too good that it hurt. 

Everything stopped, every single thing around us... the air, time, the sound, even our hearts. It was just him and I. 

He picked me up from the ground by my waist without moving his lips from mine as if they were sealed together. I wrapped my legs around his waist as my fingers grasped his raven black hair tightly. His silky hair felt like the root base that I was holding onto alongside his lips. 

He was so tall that I was sure that I was so far from the ground. But I did not fear of falling. Because I knew he would not let me. His strong hands were around me like a shield, protecting me from everything that could hurt me. 

He pulled back for a while, but in a split second, his mouth was back on mine, ravishing my body and mind, most importantly my lips that were craving for his touch for a long time. Suddenly I felt my back touching a tree. He pressed me against it with his body while his one hand was around my waist and the other hand was on my thigh, pinching the flesh there. 

I moaned in both pain and pleasure that was silenced by his mouth. His lips left mine, but then found my throat. He started kissing there and my mind was racing with thoughts, anticipation, passion, heat, and lust. But I could not... I could not give myself up like this no matter how much I wanted it. 

"Leandro...," I mumbled. It was more like a moan, an invitation for more. "Leandro..."

I tried to stop him by pushing him away by the chest. But he caught my hand and held it tightly there as his lips were moving on the sensitive skin of my throat. 

"Please, don't_ do anything_ else. You have to_ stop," I said again. 

"Why are you resisting so much when it's clear that you want it? You want all of it. But still you're resisting," he said, pulling back and looking deep into my eyes. His brownish pink lips were swollen, giving him a look that was almost impossible to resist. 

"No," I said looking down.

"No? What no?"

"I-I don't want this."

"No, I do. I want this. I want all of you. I want to be yours. I want to take all of you, taste you, and give me to you while accepting you as mine."

But those were the things that I could not tell him. I did not want to be someone vulnerable, I did not want to get betrayed. 

"Alright then," he said and put me down. "Not all people want bad for you. Perhaps you can trust me a bit."

"I trust you. I trust you with my life. I know you will not let anything happen to me," I said, taking the courage to look into his deep dark brown eyes that held way too many secrets, "But, Leandro, I don't trust you with my heart."

"At least, not yet," I added. 

"I understand," he said. 

I did not expect it at all. I did not know what I expected, but that was surely not this. He was never like this. He was not someone who would consider other peoples' thoughts and feelings. He was possessive and was the type of person who would take what they wanted no matter how. But perhaps he truly changed. 

"Come on now. It will take only five minutes to reach there," he said and started walking again. 

I felt disappointed. Why? Why did I have to doubt people so much? Why was I not like those girls who could easily trust? 

"Would you want to trust easily? Especially when you know that you can't? When you know what they did to you?" a voice inside my head asked.

"But he is not like them," I protested. 

"Are you certain?" It seemed like the voice was laughing, mocking me. 

"No."

"Then come back to tell me this when you're sure."