Chapter 59 - Fear Blood

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(From Ella's Perspective)

"Y-Your_ eyes..."

Leandro was not the human Leandro anymore, at least not fully. His teeth were extended, kind of like the monster's teeth and his eyes were red, with a wave of orange. He looked a bit scary, but not enough for me to scream and go away. 

"Is it_ your monster?" I asked and touched his face. The scars that were on the place between his nose and eyes were a bit visible on Leandro's face. 

"The scars... They are like the ones you have on your chest. Do they hurt? Should I not touch them? But you didn't flinch. They must not hurt then, right? You didn't tell me you could be half monster. But why are you in your monster form, Leandro? Have you lost a bit of your control? Are you going to kill me, Leandro, or Leandro's monster? I mean, are you thinking of killing me? There is no need, you know. I'm not a bad person and I care for Leandro. So, monster, you don't need to worry about anything. He is mine to take care of," I said. 

"How did you do that?" he asked suddenly. 

"Oh you can talk in this form," I said, only to find out that he had already become his human form fully. "You've become Leandro again."

"How did you do it, Ella?" he asked again.

"Do what?"

"You don't know, do you? You're the one who has brought me to my human form again."

"But I didn't do anything. I just touched you and talked, that's all."

"I think that's enough for my Beast to go away," he said.

"But why have you turned into your monster?"

"I could not help it. I tried to keep my control, but it was too much. There was something... And I haven't turned into my Beast fully. It was half..."

"Wait a moment! Is it because the mark is half, you turned into a half monster? If the mark was full... Honestly, Leandro, you should make these kinds of things clear first. That would be a bit terrifying to find a monster in the place of you while doing that kind of thing. It's not like I'm talking about me..."

He smiled. Was he making fun of me? But truth be told, I was thinking about myself with him when I said this. Wish I could bring my guards down and let him in!

"Leandro! It's been more than five minutes. Check if the horrible bite mark is still there. God, it gave me a lot of pain," I said quickly. 

He touched the place on my right shoulder and rubbed the place with his thumb. Even his small touches were leaving me breathless. 

"You indeed have shifter blood," he muttered and kissed the place. 

"What? Really? Let me see," I said and tilted my head as much as I could to see the mark. He was right. There was a huge bite mark left on the skin and_ blood was dripping out of it. 

My cheerfulness was gone within a moment at the sight of blood. I did not care about the mark anymore. My vision was going blur as my nostrils got filled with the nasty smell of blood. I could not see anything as my head felt heavy and I knew that I was going to faint. 

"Ella, what's wrong?" he asked. But I could not answer. It was always like this. Whenever this happened, I could not see anything and could not talk as if my voice had got stuck in my throat. 

My body went numb and the last senses I had, went away very soon. And I knew that Leandro had found out that I feared blood and merely the sight of blood was enough to weaken me. I knew that he would not use it against me, but still, I was not someone to bring my guards down easily and let others know about my weaknesses. I always felt that people would use them against me. 

I woke up with a heavy head as if it was not my head, but a huge stone. I found myself again way too rested. 

"Jesus, am I late? What time is it?" I said loudly, getting up hastily. "I'm surely late. Why do I feel like I slept too much? What the..."

"Sleep more if you feel bad."

I noticed that Leandro was standing at the doorway, leaning against it, wearing a black shirt with the top two buttons undone, revealing that sinful part again. His face was cold like always and so were his eyes, but as the time passed, I could differentiate between the look in his eyes as if his eyes had words written in an unknown language that I had learned a while ago. 

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Ten," he replied normally.

"Ten? I'm late. Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You fainted last night. There is no need to go to the castle today. Take the day off."

I was okay with the idea of taking the day off. I never liked working anyway. But I could only take a maximum of five days off a year. And it had been only a few days since I had started to work there, yet I had taken two days off already.

"Taking today off is pointless. I'm fine. You should have woken me up," I said tiredly. My head was dizzy. It felt hard to utter a word. 

"You literally fainted and now you're looking like you will fall sick at any time. How are you supposed to go to the castle in this state?"

The way he talked was as if he was worried about me. Perhaps he was. But I wanted to hear it from him for some unknown reason. But how was I going to ask that? It would seem weird. 

"Care to explain what happened last night?" he said. 

But I was busy looking at the mark on my right shoulder. The blood was gone and there was a huge mark left. The wound was deep, but it did not hurt at all when I touched it. 

"Why doesn't it hurt?"

"It's not supposed to."

"Where is the_ blood?" I asked, my voice a bit shaky though I tried not to sound frightened by it. 

"I wiped it off. You could have just told me that you hate blood. Precisely saying, you fear blood," he said. 

I did not say anything. It was embarrassing. No one feared blood, yet here I was, fainted at the sight of blood. 

"I thought you trusted me."

"I do," I mumbled. "Well, yeah, I hate... I fear blood. I didn't tell you this because_ it's too embarrassing. I mean, I was not like this. It's just for the last two years... I just can't stand blood." 

"You can fear blood. It's normal. But the way you fear it, it's not normal. It's too much," he said. 

"I have phobia, that's all. You know what phobia is? It's a type of anxiety disorder by a persistent and excessive fear of an object and situations. As you can see, I have hemophobia. I mean, not fully. Actually, hemophobia is an extreme fear of seeing blood or getting tests or shots where blood may be involved. Now that I think about it, I think I fully have hemophobia."

"There might be a reason for all kinds of fears, right? Then there is surely a reason for this as well." 

"Well, there might be a genetic link. Or a person might be particularly sensitive or emotional by nature. I mean, they tend to have this phobia. Then there is a chance to develop it if a person sees a close person having the same fear. It can also happen if the person is in the care of an overprotective environment. And there is another chance to get this if a person faces some kind of trauma or something like that. Like serious injuries," I explained.

"I'm talking about you. Why do you have this fear?"

I did not say anything. I did not want to lie to him, but I did not know how to tell him the truth as well. Silence seemed to be a good idea in this case.

"You think I didn't know that you fear blood? I guessed it the first time I met you and you fainted after sniffing the blood. Then you were trembling when you saw blood on my knuckles when I broke the mirror. You were also shivering when you had your nightmare and you were saying blood again and again. Then the day when that girl died, you were covered in blood when I found you. You were terrified that time as well. You think I didn't understand by the look on your face, the way you behaved that you fear blood?" he said, approaching me.. "And I'm sure there is a reason for that as well." 

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