35 Letting Go

He banged the side of the container again, this time with his neck breaking. A vein crawled out of his cheek before sinking under his eyelid. I let out a sharp groan as Michael placed his hands onto the edges of the glass.

Like suction cups, they stuck onto the glass before he banged his head against the tube. With another loud, sickening thud, his head banged against it. The skin on his forehead split with the next thud. His blood smeared onto the hardened plastic with the next thud. Bits of bones mixed with the red slush before a crack appeared on the glass.

A second later, his head smashed through the glass. He crawled through the hole, cutting deep gashes into his arms and body as he squirmed through. He stayed on all fours, his chest facing the ground as his back split open. Two arms and a single eye opened in the middle on his spine. It glanced at me before turning towards Kelsey.

I couldn't even move. I couldn't even think. I'd come back to try and save one of my only friends, and now he was this abomination. It was different seeing people you didn't know transform into spawns from hell. When you watched someone's face melt into a molten soup, it meant facing the reality of the situation. Everything I knew, all the memories and knowledge and understandings, was worthless in one moment.

All those lazy saturdays spent finding something to do, all those times Michael and I fucked around in school, they were torn apart in one second. Michael shambled towards me, my own horror mounting. I shook in objective terror as it neared me. I risked my life so that this could happen. At that moment, everything felt meaningless.

The eye glanced backwards, towards Kelsey. It shambled away and towards her spitting out acid onto the glass. The glass sizzled as Althea placed a hand on the wall. She leaned into the room as she said, "What's with the noise..."

The eye of the creature turned towards her. They sat still before Althea lifted her arm, reforming it in a few seconds. I stood there, numb from it all until a bone spear pierced straight through the eye on Michael's back. The blood spraying onto my armor and the deafening noise of the rifle snapped me from my stupor. This was happening, and I had to do something about it.

The body collapsed onto the ground as Kelsey convulsed in the tube. The acid had melted the glass, revealing ebon wires crawling under her skin like a black liquid that was alive. Her chest split open, revealing a giant slug. Two tiny arms, on the slug lurched towards me, sending her tube flying at me. The glass tube knocked me over. The slug squeezed through Kelsey's chest, leaving a cocoon of skin behind.

The slug slithered onto me, the acidic slime corroding my armor. I pushed it away from my face as I glanced sideways. The eyeless, hollowed out skin of Kelsey looked back at me. I glanced back at the slug, the endless folds of skin on it oozing as two eyes glanced back. This thing had been Kelsey.

In the pits of my mind, a hatred formed. This was what that fucker Yawm wanted. It was like Yawm had taken my friends and used their ghosts to haunt me. Schema forced us into this world, and now Yawm was turning it inside out. I hated it. I hated him. I hated all this bullshit he was forcing down our throats. He'd made hell into my reality. Even if I broke every bone in my goddamn body, I'd return the favor.

I shoved the writhing slug off me. I stood up before another spear of bone drilled into the ground, through the slug's torso. With a forceful stomp, I smashed the slug's body. The acid covered my foot and splattered onto my armor before I grabbed one of the broken glass tubes. Like wielding an oversized club, I crushed the slug into green slush before turning towards Michael.

The arms and legs of him had curved onto himself, like he was trying to grab his own skin. His insides swelled. Holes opened in his skin, letting him suck in the air around us. They whistled as the body pulsed up and outward.

Kessiah shouted, "What the fuck is going on in there?"

Sacks of glowing green appeared as the skin on Michael split open. The green boils swirled with energy, pulsing as they searched for a way out. I turned towards Althea as she aimed another bolt towards him. I sprinted forward as she fired the projectile, blocking with my weighted forearms.

The spear impaled me as I grit my teeth and pulled away from the growing skin sack of green. Her spear didn't pierce through me anymore. It stuck six inches deep into my forearm before I turned towards what had been Michael. It was just like I thought. The pulsing had grown chaotic as it shivered, the whistling sound turning into a blistering howl.

I sprinted forward and tackled the green blob. It rolled into the corner of the room as I fumbled on top of it. All became a blast of white then black.

When I awoke, everything blurred as I stared at a white ball of light above me. Kessiah was pulling my armor off me, the spiked tendrils digging into her hands as she pulled pieces off. Torix pulled out green, glowing shards of crystal from me with a pair of blue, steel tweezers. In his other hand, he held a bloody scalpel with black mana on the bladed edge. He cut at me out green crystals shards, his eyes intent and focused.

My eyes closed before opening again. Everything had changed, and Torix and Kessiah talked over me, Kessiah saying,

"How did he survive? That was a plasmic nova with poisoned crystal shards as shrapnel."

"He is far tougher than almost anyone would be at his level. He did save Althea with his near suicidal sacrifice. I'm surprised he understood what was happening, considering Althea didn't."

I glanced around, Althea holding her head in her hands as she agonized over something. I shook off the haze before sitting up. They turned towards me before Kessiah put her hand on my chest and said, "Woah there tank-man. Slow down. You just had a rather extensive surgery."

I blinked a few times before saying, "I'm fine now. I've got the perks to keep going."

With a bit more force, she pushed me down as she said, "Just because you can doesn't mean you should."

I let myself lean back onto the soft something I laid on. It must have been a black bed of mana made by Torix. I said, "Alright, fine. What the fuck just happened?"

Torix glanced at Althea as he said, "Neither of us mentioned it, but both Michael and Kelsey were dead by the time Althea brought them in. Those weren't holding cells. They were suspension pods. Based on the records in the pods, they died not long after leaving you in the quarry. In fact, they were infected before we even met."

I raised myself off the table with my arms, "Is that why they changed like that?"

Kessiah nodded, "That's why they turned into spawns in the room over there. You injected the tube with a portion of your mana, awakening those fuckers. Before that though, we didn't know how to tell you that they passed."

My eyes and tone were sharp as a razor, "Why didn't either of you tell me?"

Torix sighed, "You had just come back from a long, hard battle. Why would we tell you something before you'd rested?"

I seethed, "I don't know, maybe to stop me from seeing my friends turn into fucked up monsters?"

Torix snapped, "I understand your anger, but do not forget yourself. Calm down. I am your master, not your equal. Keep your tone civil, or I will keep it civil for you."

I swallowed my outrage as Torix continued,

"There was no way of knowing they were infected, aside from cutting them open. I don't believe your compatriots were telling the truth either the last time you met. The steel legion were likely trying to keep them contained. In other words, they were trying to deceive us."

I rasped, "Wait, what?"

Althea raised her head and said, "The pods categorized their history with the legion. Bribery and infection were the two main things mentioned. They had used a dungeon core to get out of the steel legion's barricade. When we sent the dungeon core as payment, the legion started digging around for them. They found them walking on a nearby road towards a different town and then sent them back for study."

My shoulder's sunk down, my rage deflating. Kessiah shook her head, "That's why your friend's story was so shitty. It was a lie to cover their asses."

I glanced at my bed, "I...damn...Fuck."

Everything was numb. I couldn't think or move or even breath. Kessiah walked up before saying, "I know I'd feel pretty bad after all this. Keep in mind though, they knew they were going to die. You of all people know just how damn far people will go to live. They'll even try and use their friends as shields."

Althea glanced towards the wall, grimacing as she lifted her legs up and hugged them against her chest. Althea said, "Your friends were as bad as mine."

I nodded, "Damn...It's amazing just how shitty people are."

Torix said, "And that is why you must forge your alliances carefully. Use this as a lesson."

I slid myself off the table, "I’m sure a petal or two landed on me while I was fighting. Am I infected too?”

Torix shook his head, “During the surgery for the crystal shards, Kessiah and I checked in case you were. We found nothing aside from twenty pounds of crystal lodged in your chest. Your armor likely kept you safe during your time there.”

Torix pulled out a portion of the green crystal, "Amazing isn't it? Your hp didn't even hit critical levels during the entire surgury nor right after the bomb. The poison acted as a sedative, making removing them simpler than it should have been. You used your build well."

I stood off the table, no one stopping me from standing this time. I nodded my head, “Thanks, Torix. Sorry about that, uh, outburst I guess. Just emotional, you know?"

"Of course. As long as you understand that."

I turned towards the hallway, "I need some time alone. I need to sort things out."

Torix lowered his hand, pocketing the slither of crystal, "You’ve been unconscious for several days now. The longer you wait, the stronger Yawm becomes. He is turning your world into his playground as we speak. Soon, it will be a spawning pool for him and nothing more.”

With a bit of power leaking into his voice, he continued, “I know you are suffering, but we don’t have time to waste on your grieving. I already wasted centuries searching and wallowing in regret for how I handled my son. All I learned was that lost ones never come back."

It’s effect was much like Elijah’s, so I resisted the sudden urge to listen to his words. I walked towards the back room, “Alright. I’ll keep that in mind.”

I paced into the back hallway. There was a new entrance in the back of our hiding place. The entire back of the building had blown outwards from the explosion. Torix and Kessiah put the place back together. Elegant roots composed archways and support beams that held each room upright. As I passed the doorway to my own room, wooden branches grew from the edges of the doorframe.

Leaves bloomed from the strands of wood, blocking the doorway. As they completely closed off the room, all the sound from outside ceased in an instant. There was a bed made of moss in the corner of my room, along with a plate of polished steel for a mirror. When I sat down, the moss was soft as silk.

I crossed my arms before leaning down onto my knees. I tapped my head against my knees, the clanking of my armor turning into a dull hum over time. That's when my mind wandered.

My friends were using me, just like Torix and Kessiah and maybe even Althea. This whole time I'd been some pawn, whether for Baldag-Ruhl or Torix or even my old friends. I didn’t know if Torix had used that voice before I’d gained enough perception to detect it. I couldn’t tell. What I could tell was that everyone around me wanted something, all because I was useful.

That thought cut deep, deeper than it should've. Of course they all wanted something. The thing is, there’s something deeply unsettling about being surrounded by people who only want to use you. What made it hard to swallow though was that this new life of mine was all I had. This new world was all there was.

Everyone and everything from before Schema was gone now. What was I supposed to even live for? What was I doing all this for? I couldn’t find an answer, and I doubted I could find an answer, regardless of how much I thought about it.

That’s when something whispered in my head,

“You may live for hunger. You may live deliciously. You may live for your own.”

I lifted my head before glancing around. There was nobody nearby, and I couldn’t feel anyone invading my mind or some shit like that. For a second I thought my mind was being corrupted, but then I remembered that I was immune to corruption thanks to the determinator tree line. It wasn’t an infection either. I squinted my eyes before the voice continued,

“Fear not. I am the voice of what you call your armor. I am not here to cloud your vision. Indeed, I am here to let you live as you want to, or more aptly, as you should.”

I frowned as I thought, “How about fuck this and fuck that.”

The voice continued like a ghost whispering in my ear, “Why do you pretend as though you still wear your old skin?”

“What the fuck do you mean old skin?”

“The skin of when you were a human. You have changed into something different. Why do you still fight it?”

“I’m not fighting anything. I’m just being myself. What the fuck else am I supposed to do?”

“You don’t even realize how much you neglect your own hunger.”

“Stop speaking like some bullshit, cryptic-ass riddle or else I’m ignoring your dumbass.”

“Allow me to make you aware.”

An emptiness formed in my gut. I glanced around, wondering if Torix was fucking with me. He wasn’t. The voice ebbed,

“That is the hunger you deny. If you feed it, it will feed you in turn.”

I shook my head, “Yeah, ok, sure, a random mystery voice tells me to do something. I should definitely listen to some voice in my head. How about fuck you, I’m telling Torix.”

“Odd isn’t it? You trust him so resolutely, yet he imprisoned you so that he may mold you into his own tool. You cannot escape him. You cannot disobey him. Did he already tear your mind apart and make it his own?”

“You don’t even know Torix.”

“And neither do you. You know nothing about him, besides what he chooses to share. He has given you a carefully crafted picture of himself, and you have accepted that picture as reality. You don’t even hesitate to do his bidding anymore. Does that sound like you, someone who does as another says simple because they said it?”

The weird thing in my head gave me a moment of pause. I couldn’t deny it. I was wondering how many times Torix had used that enhanced voice of his. Besides that, I did listen to Torix more than I did most people. It worried me.

The voice continued,

“A man chooses. A slave obeys. Speak of me, and that lich will never let you choose again. You will become a thrall of his, a mindless slave.”

My eyes turned to slits, “What the fuck do you want?”

“To give you freedom.”

“Sounds more like you just want me to eat a whole fuckload more.”

“Tell me then, are you not exhausted with being manipulated by other people? You’ve been the tool of Schema, Torix, and even your past friends. Is that not infuriating? Schema forced you into this new world. Torix forced you into becoming his servant. Even Etorhma has forced you to fight an enemy that can set worlds on fire.”

“Etorhma hasn’t forced me to do shit.”

“Oh, you’re quite right. He gave you two choices. Either let Yawm live and die as he destroys time, or kill him and live. That isn’t a choice. It’s a glorified command. I am giving you a choice, not the illusion of it.”

“Alright fucker, what’s the choice then?”

“You’ve been given the gift of consumption. You may devour anything you choose to. Schema, Torix, and Etorhma will force their goals down your throat. Let them. Bide your time and sharpen your teeth. When you’ve outgrown your masters, they will still reach for your jaws.”

“Then what?”

“Swallow them whole.”