Chapter 102
The first kiss tasted like blood, sweat and tears. At first, I thought they were my tears, but then I realized they were Cassius’s.
“I-I’m sorry…”
I apologized after hastily backing away from him. At first glance, I could see that the corners of his eyes were flushed red.
“Evelyn.”
A low voice that contained a strange feeling called out to me.
“Don’t… you hate me?”
As I stared at Cassius, the emotion reflected on his handsome face was, surprisingly, fear. The same person who was expressionlessly setting fires a moment ago was now begging me not to hate him.
The contrasting fact filled me with thrilling emotions.
Yes.
I admitted it. Even if it wasn’t love, there was something between me and Cassius, and it was up to me now how to develop that something.
“I don’t hate it.”
I answered slowly.
“I don’t hate it.”
“…Why?”
He asked in a trembling voice.
“I did something you didn’t like. Of course, I thought that even if one day your anger would be relieved, you would be angry with me now…”
That was right.
I couldn’t deny what he said.
If it were me in the past, I would’ve thought it very terrifying that I had burned Gabriel alive and killed him instead of capturing him alive. Furthermore, it may not have been Cassius’ intention, but even Lucifer rushed into the flames to kill Gabriel once and for all.
But…
“Cassius.”
I called his name.
“Does this look like the behavior of someone who hates you?”
I didn’t know why, either. There were only consequences.
So, I kissed Cassus one more time.
The guttural sound of tongues tangling echoed through the air. He kissed me like a man who would never have the chance to kiss me again, as if he would swallow all of me…
“Ca-Cassius.”
I gasped.
“Breathe… I can’t breathe.”
In other words, this was my first kiss.
At those words, Cassius answered in an embarrassed voice.
“I’m sorry. It’s my first time, too…”
“It’s your first time?”
Startled, I stared at him in surprise, but a voice that could even be called a little brashly returned.
“No one really piqued my interest until I met you. Don’t you like it?”
“That can’t be.”
I thought of the novel. Cassius Brudenell’s love was like a flame, and while others end up as tiny embers or small fires, his first love burned as a great inferno, consuming both himself and the other. And this Cassius Brudenell’s first love…
It was me.
The moment I realized that fact, it was a revelation that I had been deliberately avoiding until now.
Was it not love?
I just didn’t hate it?
…Let’s stop lying.
I loved Cassius.
Everyone could point fingers at me.
It could be a selfish love that took away the place that should belong to my sister. Still, how could I resist this man who would throw away his freedom and his life for me without hesitation? The barrier that held back the mighty tide had long since had fine cracks.
And that barrier….
“I love you, Evelyn.”
…It broke into pieces.
Soon, a tidal wave, unstoppable by any force, would sweep me away and swallow me.
But why… even that felt sweet?
Instead of answering the confession, I reached out and touched Cassius’ face, which was smeared with dust and ash. It probably looked similar to mine.
Since he was a handsome man, he was still handsome, but I was probably not good-looking. However, Cassius’s focused eyes were gazing at me as if I was more lovely than anyone else.
“…Evelyn.”
“I love you.”
I slowly brought out my trembling heart.
“I love you, Cassius…”
All of a sudden, the world went dark.
It seemed that Cassius had covered my eyes. Because of that, I shook my head in bewilderment though he still didn’t remove his hand.
“Cassius?”
“…Don’t look…”
A very slight, trembling voice came through.
“Don’t look…”
“It’s alright.”
When I gently pushed his hand away, as expected, tears welled up in his golden eyes.
“It’s okay to cry.”
“….”
Cassius gazed at me silently for a moment. I swallowed dryly, feeling those tearful eyes more lustful.
“I don’t know why it only happens in front of you.”
“You really don’t know?”
His reply didn’t come back in the form of words.
Holding me close, he kissed me fiercely. Three kisses that happened at short intervals… if the first kiss was my exploration, the second my confirmation, and the third was for Cassius’ emotions.
Hmm…
Let’s just say it was a passionate kiss that suited him.
“It was a good thing since there’s only one room left.”
Perhaps because he was in a hurry, he was unable to prepare for his usual luxury. As a result, we ended up staying in a small inn that was packed with people.
“How many beds are there?”
“It’s one… Is there a problem?”
Noticing that the innkeeper glanced at us strangely, I poked Cassius.
“I think my husband asked if there were two. It’s rather a relief that there’s only one.”
“Oh, is that so? Here’s the key. Have a good night!”
As we walked down the hallway, Cassius looked quite uneasy before he eventually opened his mouth.
“It’s a relief that there’s only one?”
“I thought we were pretending to be a married couple?”
“….”
“Then you should behave like that. Besides, it’s not like it’s the first time we’ve shared a room, right?”
Even then, there was only one bed.
…Well, though, I did tie him to the bedpost.
He must have remembered that day, too, because he whispered in a low voice.
“You can tie me up again.”
[ T/N: ( ≖ ͜ʖ≖) ]
“Why would I tie you up?”
I asked him back again.
“I was afraid of you back then… but I’m not scared of you now.”
“….!”
I sighed inwardly.
…To be happy about such an obvious statement showed how far he has to go in the future.
“There must be a sofa. Cassius sleeps there, and I’ll take the bed.”
However, the moment we entered the room… I realized that I, too, had a long way to go.
‘I thought there would be a long sofa where you could lie down…!’
It was because I had overlooked the fact that it was a small inn. Even though the room was clean, it was small enough to fit only a dressing table, a closet, and a double bed. There were no sofas to lie down on, and there wasn’t even enough space on the floor for one person to lie down.
In a nutshell…
Cassius and I were in a situation where we had to sleep together.
“…Shall we look elsewhere?”
“I’m sure the other inns are in a similar situation.”
Cassius strode briskly into the room.
“Come in, Evelyn.”
Was it just my imagination that those golden eyes were shining with a dangerous look…?
“We’re a married couple, why should we be embarrassed by this?”
‘Oh, so he wants to do it like this?’
At those words, I strode into the room, took off my shoes, and flopped down on the bed since I didn’t have a change of clothes anyway. Thankfully, I was able to at least wash my face and hands in a public bathroom, otherwise, I wouldn’t have looked like a human by now.
Cassius, well, like I said before…
He could get covered in mud and still look handsome.
The next moment, he also climbed onto the bed without much preparation and laid down.
Thump, thump.
As the sound of my heart pounding began to ring in my ears, I purposely turned to face the wall.
“…Evelyn.”
Cassius quietly called my name.
“Are you still afraid of me?”
“….”
I swallowed dry saliva.
No, this wasn’t scary…
“No.”
I opened my mouth, still staring only at the wall.
“A little… I’m a little nervous.”
“That’s a relief.”
He blurted out.
“I’m also nervous, but…”
As if the words that he was nervous weren’t a lie, I could hear the sound of him swallowing dry saliva.
“…Can you please look at me?”
“….”
Thump, thump.
The sound of my heart pounding grew louder and louder. I was almost glad that my long hair was covering my ears, which would have been red.
Soon, I turned very slowly toward Cassius.
To my surprise, as soon as I turned around, it was Cassius who turned to face the wall this time. All of a sudden, I was looking at the back of his head instead.
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“Cassius!”
“…I’m sorry.”
He quickly apologized.
“When I saw your face, I was nervous…”
Unlike me, the nape of his exposed neck was stained bright red.
__