Chapter 64: Pretenses

As Ellie drove, Tess relayed directions from Death to her. They were being taken out of the town proper, into areas that were more farmland than anything else. Eventually, they were told to turn off the road and onto a dirt path, which led to a dilapidated sort of…warehouse. The property had seen better days; there were scattered odds and ends everywhere, the warehouse clearly hadn’t seen any maintenance in decades, and there were rather obvious signs that wild animals were living in or around the building.

Death: It’s an abandoned piece of church property that was used back in the good old days when they were moving into the building they’re in now. It’s just sat here unused, so I decided not to let it go to waste

Ellie: Yeah and this place doesn’t look sketchy at all

Death: Would you rather we put it in the middle of town where someone can see it?

Fortune: Hey look at it this way: you’ll now always have an out of the way place you can bring people to so you can…have a “friendly chat” with them

Tess: Why would we need that we’re not part of the mob or…even beholden to the justice system? If we really want information out of someone we can just have you take it straight from their brains, we don’t need to do any of that stuff

Fortune: Yeah but what if you do need to? You’ll be glad you have this

Tess: Isn’t that kind of also literally what the Appointed hideout is for?

Fortune: But…that place is nice. Where’s your sense of atmosphere?! Besides, what if you need to interrogate someone from Mael and can’t take them there?

Tess: Name a single situation where it would be efficient to bring them here instead of keeping them somewhere more convenient

Fortune: …It’s not about practicality, it’s about sending a message

Ellie: What message are you trying to send?

Fortune: Be afraid I can dump you in this spooky place and no one will ever find your body

Ellie: This is one of the first places I would check for a body if I was in the police

Death: We could also just have them show off some magic and that would probably have a bigger effect than whatever message you’re trying to send

Fortune: Look sometimes you just need a spooky abandoned hideout

Death: Like Tess said, name one situation where that would be helpful

Fortune: I’m the older god and that means I don’t have to explain things, go figure out the deep meaning behind my words and come back when you have, it’ll be helpful for your growth, I promise

There was a rap on Ellie’s window, causing her to jump in surprise. She turned her head to find Jacob outside, wearing an amused expression. Ellie turned off the car and stepped out, a slightly chagrined expression on her face.

“So…is this really the place?” Jacob asked curiously. “It seems…way too run down to be a gateway between worlds.”

“That is, apparently, the point.” Tess said. “It’s some sort of old storage area the church isn’t using. They picked this place so no one would see you traveling between worlds.”

“I…guess that makes sense.” Jacob admitted. “Won’t people think it’s weird if they see cars parked here, though?”

Fortune: We can put up decorations to fool people into thinking it’s the base of some sort of infernal cult, no one will ever suspect a thing.

Life: Save your jokes for when they’re not in the middle of a conversation.

Fortune: I wasn’t joking, though? It’ll add on to the whole “supernatural mystique” you guys are going for.

Life: I suppose that is…acceptable, then.

“The gods say they’re going to have decorations put up so they can fool people into thinking a cult’s taken up residence here.” Ellie translated. “They say it’ll add some spice to the supernatural events we’re going to be fabricating.”

“Oh, you guys are…gonna be doing more of that stuff?”

“Yeah.” Tess confirmed. “The goal is to make this place into the epicenter of paranormal activity. We’ve already started, actually.”

“When?” Jacob asked. “I don’t remember hearing about anything weird aside from the stuff I’ve seen you do.”

“While we were playing laser tag, I had Isabella go haunt some of the buildings in town. That’ll get things started, at least. I think the plan is to ramp things up slowly until we get to a point where it can’t be ignored anymore.”

“So…hanging out was just a pretense?” Jacob said, visibly disappointed.

Fortune: He’s actually right and just has it backwards, we were trying to get you to go have a life and you fell for it lol

Death: Haha get pranked nerds

Life: That is not the correct way to broach this subject. We will talk more on this matter after we have settled our business here, but suffice it to say our main purpose was to get you two out and about. We fear it is bad for your development to be as work-focused as you have been these past weeks.

Death: Alright you can’t tell me you didn’t pick up on the joke this time.

Life: I cannot say that I did.

Death: It’s the way people in those prank videos talk, you must have seen one, even if it was just from being in the same room as me when I was watching one.

Life: I try not to pay attention to such things. They are vapid and a waste of time.

Death: I mean…like…that’s true but shouldn’t we at least check them out? They’re super popular, and I feel it’s kinda irresponsible of us to not keep up to date with what people are doing. How can we effectively serve the people if we don’t even know them?

Life: …We will discuss this after the business with Jacob is concluded.

Fortune: Speaking of, Tess, you can tell Jacob that we tricked you into this. Actually, tell him I want his help, I want him to drag you two out to places more often

Ellie tore her attention away from the gods’ conversation and focused back in on Tess and Jacob.

“What?” Jacob asked, confused. “I’m confused. How is it being a pretense both right and wrong?”

Tess rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “It’s right in that the reason I messaged you was a pretense. It’s wrong in the fact that…well, the pretense was apparently the actual motive the whole time? Fortune was the one who came up with the idea and she is now telling me that the whole thing was just a ploy to, quote, “get me to go have a life”. Um…”

Tess blushed, looking away in embarrassment. “She also says she wants your help dragging us out to go do things more.”

“Hold up.” Jacob said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You can’t just drop that on me. That was…basically a divine command, right?”

Fortune: I mean you could say that but it’s really not? Tell him he’s under no obligation just let him know that I’m not gonna like…care about him “taking time away from your duties” or anything, and that I would appreciate it but I’m not gonna think worse of him if he can’t or whatever.

“Uh…Fortune says not really.” Tess said. “She just says she wants you to know that you don’t have to worry about potentially like…taking time away from my duties, and that she’s not gonna think worse of you if you don’t. It’s just…a request, nothing official.”

Jacob hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah, I…can handle that. Still, I wish you would have asked me without needing to be tricked into it. That just…doesn’t feel great, you know?”

“Yeah, I get where you’re coming from.” Tess said. “Sorry, I’ve just been so focused on my work lately and…well, I’m always tired when I get back, and it’s hard to make time.”

“You say that like you wouldn’t be working every day and spending longer in dungeons during those days if we didn’t hold you back.” Ellie said. “I didn’t realize it myself, not until I really started thinking about it earlier, but…we really don’t hang out with anyone outside of freelancing anymore, and that’s more like work than…well, hanging out. We’ve just been at home doing stuff together. We have like…no social life right now.”

Tess blinked. “I…mean, I guess you’re right. People always say that you tend to grow apart from your friends after high school, so I just sort of assumed it was normal?”

“I suppose, but our situation is different.” Ellie argued. “It was sort of an artificial change, not the sort of gradual, over time thing you would normally expect. Besides, what harm is there in getting out a bit more? If we don’t make time for something outside of work, then what are we even doing with our lives? What’s the point? At the very least, we need some more hobbies.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But…we can deal with that later, right now we need to show Jacob how to get to the Outlands.” Tess said. “And…sorry.” She added, looking over to Jacob. “I’m going to try and be more proactive about hanging out from now on.”

Jacob nodded. “Good. So…where’s this door? I can’t say I’m not curious.”

Death: Go inside, hook a left, and it’ll be at the corner of the building, straight ahead of you.

“This way.” Ellie said, making her way to warehouse’s door. She tried it, only to find that it was locked. “Um…”

“I got this.” Tess said, striding up to the door. She reached into her pockets and, after a moment of rummaging, pulled out what could only be a set of lockpicks. She got to work on the door, and, after only a couple of moments, there was a click and Tess opened the door.

“When did you learn that?” Ellie asked curiously.

“Ava taught me when she was teaching me how to disarm traps.” Tess answered. “You never know when you’ll need to get into somewhere without just…smashing your way in.”

“Even so, that was fast.” Jacob said. “You’ve only been training for a couple of months, right? Are there a lot of locks in dungeons to practice on or have you just been working on it in your free time?”

“There are only occasionally locks. Sometimes chests will have them or whatever, but to be honest, most of that speed comes from the fact that I can see the inner workings of the lock with tremorsense. It really cuts down on the sort of…fiddling that comes with having to feel out the lock.”

“I see. Does that work for magical locks, or…actually, there are magical locks, right?”

“Yeah. Magical locks are harder to deal with, but I’ve got tools for those too. I’m not really great with them yet, though, so they take me a while.” Tess replied, stowing the lockpicks back in her pockets.

“And you just…carry those around.” Jacob said flatly. “Why?”

“Oh, I carry everything around.” Tess said. “This is actually my armor.” She focused for a moment, and then her clothes shifted, becoming the suit that was her armor’s default form. “The pockets are magic bags.” She focused for another moment, and the armor shifted to become their school uniform. “I actually have a lot of control over what I can make it look like. I don’t think I’ve worn anything but pajamas and this for…months.”

“And it doesn’t get dirty? You’re adventuring all day, aren’t you?”

“Automatic cleaning function.” Tess said smugly, shifting her armor back to the appearance it had been in before. “It’s basically the only clothing I’ll ever need.”

“How much does something like that cost?” Jacob asked. “You’ve got my attention.”

“Um…couldn’t tell you.” Tess admitted. “This was custom-made to help me as an Appointed. Even if it weren’t for the combat effects, I really don’t know how much this would cost. Uh…probably a lot, though, if you wanted one just like this. Probably less if you don’t get it tailored and just rely on the size changing function, but still a lot.”

“I kinda figured as much.” Jacob said. “Sorry, uh, kinda getting distracted. Where’s the door?”

Ellie opened the door and stepped into the warehouse. “Should be directly to the left.” She said. “Just follow the wall, and it’ll be in the corner.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, lighting the area up with her camera.

It was…well, it was an abandoned warehouse. Years of adventurous teens breaking in to “explore” had taken their toll; shelves were knocked over, stuff was spread on the floor, and the whole place generally looked…bad.

They picked their way over the debris until they reached the far wall, where Ellie stopped. “Right here.” She said. “Just put some Mana in and it’ll open right up.”

“Right. Uh…how?” Jacob asked.

“Um…just put your hand on it and sort of…will it in. The door should recognize what you’re trying to do, and it’ll suck out the Mana for you.”

Jacob nodded, laying a hand on the wall. A moment later, a door faded into existence. “I…did it.” He said, a note of surprise present in his tone. “It…really was that easy.”

“Yup, nothing to it.” Ellie said. “Wanna go through just to make sure it works?”

“Where’s it gonna put us?” Jacob asked. “We were trying to keep my being…well, from Mael on the down-low, right? Won’t this kind of be a giveaway if someone sees?”

Death: We ended up basically reserving a room in the guild for this. No one should be in there for like…a long time, so it’s all good

“They’ve reserved a private room.” Tess said. “No one except guild staff is in the back of the guild on any sort of regular basis, so no one should notice except them, and they can keep their mouths shut.”

“Yeah, let’s peek in, then.”

They took a minute to walk through the door and ensure that everything was working before heading back through. They said their goodbyes and headed back home, where they were almost immediately contacted by the gods.

Life: I believe we were going to talk about your social life. As we have said before, it is our opinion that you are withdrawing too much into your work and not balancing your life properly. While this is doable in the short term, it has been shown time and time again that, over the course of years, this has a negative impact. Having no other ways to spend your time will end up with you burning out, and that is not something we can afford.

Fortune: Or, to put it less stiffly, we’re getting worried about your mental health. We’re worried that if you keep this up, you’re going to end up hating life, and that’s about the furthest thing from what we want. So…well, we tried to sort of nudge you into getting out more and it didn’t really work so we’re putting our feet down.

Death: Yeah. We’ve already talked to Evan and gotten him in on it, so if you two don’t get out and socialize at least once a week, we’re gonna bar you from entering the Outlands. We can do that, and we will, so don’t test us on this.

Fortune: We’re gonna be somewhat lenient; so long as you make a sincere effort we’re not going to mind if you miss a week or two, but if it becomes a problem, we’ll stop being so lenient. And while hanging out with your friends on Mael is encouraged, we’re not opposed to hangouts with people you’ve met in the Outlands. Just so long as it’s with someone and is not related to work. Uh…unless it’s on Mael and you’re causing a paranormal incident as part of it, that’s cool. Just as long as it’s a side thing and not the main reason.

Life: This is a serious matter and is not open for debate. So, are our terms understood?

Tess: Yeah, I get it. I…sorry.

Fortune: You don’t need to apologize. We understand how it happened, but we also can’t let things continue like this. This is entirely for your benefit, so please don’t think we’re angry with you or something, just concerned.

Tess: Alright. Um…thanks. I’m…glad you care.

Fortune: Of course we care, silly. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you two are like daughters to me. I worry about this sort of thing more than you’d think, and I’m sure Life and Death do too.

Life: That aside, do you understand, Ellie?

Ellie: I understand. We’ll be better in the future, promise.

Life: Good. I will let you enjoy the rest of your evening, then.

Death: Don’t listen to him, he’s just too shy to admit he’s worried too. But…seriously, I’m glad you’re not like…offended about this or anything. I was worried you’d take this the wrong way.

Ellie: No, I understand where you’re coming from, don’t worry.

Death: Ah, good. Um…well, I…really will leave you to your night, now. You two have a good one, k?

Fortune: Ditto

Tess: Will do

Ellie: Roger that!

Ellie absentmindedly reached over and grabbed Tess’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “So…what do you want to do?”

“I’m kinda tired, so…maybe just some video games or something?”

Ellie leaned in and gave her a kiss. “Sounds great. Let’s get to it, then.”

Fighterman481

Well, I had to go back and rework things more than once, which is...not exactly ideal, but it is what it is, I guess. The chapter's probably better for it.

Uh...that's really about all, next time...well, I have a couple of ideas, but we'll get there when we get there, so...look forward to it, I guess?

And, as always, thanks for reading!