Chapter 100 - In My Current Life

I Need to add this tagline here, guys. TRIGGER WARNING, THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER GETS PRETTY DARK and deals with mental health issues and self-harm. If you are afraid it might affect you, please skip over this chapter. While important, you'll be able to piece together what happened in the subsequent chapters.

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POV Cynrik

-Your Race has changed to 99% Human 1% Æsir.-

Tobs' soft monotone voice chimed in my mind, accompanied by a notification window, and I was thrown back in time to when I had first gotten injured in the military. Back then, I had to undergo a procedure called a "Bone scan." Since simple x-rays couldn't show all the damage my legs had sustained, the doctors made me get on top of this giant machine. But none of that is important; what IS, was when they injected me with colored dye. The purpose of this dye was to stick to any fractures on my bones and light them up so the machine could snap pictures of each individual fracture.

The feeling of the Æsir blood being injected was so vaguely familiar that it brought me back to that instant, well, except for that procedure being utterly painless, and the only side effect was feeling like I wet myself. But, this was on a whole other level. It was like molten lava was being pumped around my body by my heart, and it took everything I had to not freak the fuck out in tears.

When I saw the notification about becoming a demi-human, I felt a hand grip my heart and squeeze. I remember thinking to myself, 'Is this fear…am I actually scared?' how many times had I been in situations that would have traumatized someone and come out utterly unaffected. So why was it NOW, when something as simple as a few drops of blood entered my body, was I scared shitless.

Not by the pain but by the rapidly growing hunger and aggression I was experiencing. The primal feeling I'd been somewhat in control of for years was like a chained beast in my head. Screaming to be let out. Begging to kill and destroy. Something Primal, an urge that humans had long lost touch with, was waking up inside me, and I couldn't stop it.

My lack of self-control was evident during the Physical Exam. Being someone who needed a plan no matter what the situation, I had spent the whole night before going over how my group and I would handle them, only to toss all that planning out the window the second I saw a bunch of kids showing off and getting praised. This was the first time I heard the voice in my head clearly.

It had always been present since my reincarnation, that is. A disembodied voice, the personification of the primal urge I was trying to suppress. Speaking in whispers, in Norse, with insanity and desperation dripping off each word, it taunted me, telling me…

-=these filthy Ergi (High-level insult, but basically means coward), how dare they prance around displaying their weakness as if they're special.=-

-=Drengr, don't you want to tarnish them, hehe, don't you want to show how YOU and YOU alone are the best here. Where is your Asgardian pride? Are you not a son of Odin?=-

'Shut up, shut UP! FUCK OFF'

-=TEEHE HAHA, Oh lookie, the youngblood seems to have some bark within that mouth of his. Good, go, show them who you are. Show them that the Æsir are alive and well.=-

Before I understood what I was doing, I had grabbed Benny by the scruff of his neck and jumped onto the stage as flamboyantly as possible.

Only once I saw how confused Brance appeared to be, did I come back to and realize what I'd done. What happened to acting low-key and flying under the radar? What happened to my fucking plan? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ME?

I wanted to slam my head against something until some sense was knocked into me. 'No, stop, calm down, Cyn, just take a deep breath and relax. It's just a voice; this isn't our first rodeo being a tad bit crazy."

-=Teehe HAHA.=-

'Fuck off, this is my head, you bastard, MY LIFE.'

-=OHHH, is it now, and who says it doesn't belong to me?=-

The voice became more coherent the longer I seemed to acknowledge its existence, so I simply chose to ignore it.

If it was only a voice, I probably wouldn't have felt as restless as I was at the time. When the Observers spoke to me and awarded Brance and me our Elite tokens, it almost became too hard not to snap at the poor guy. He was clearly frightened by me, and that was fine. I remember laughing inside, seeing his face.

The following incident was with the guards outside A-G-22097. The voice was furious at the guard for looking down on me. Which, in turn, made me furious. I had already plotted how to take him down, and if Brance hadn't stopped me, I would have attacked the Tier-3 being mercilessly before moving on and taking out any other threats.

Luckily my little brother was there. Who knows what would have happened if I did cause a massacre at that moment. As strange as it sounds, whenever Brance stepped in, it was like a cool breeze calming me down. Through his words and actions, I was able to push the primal voice down, and my logic came back.

That didn't last long, though.

From the instant I stepped foot into the Egress, the voice grew increasingly more active. Constantly whispering, taunting, and critiquing my every action. No matter how much I screamed at it or tried to ignore it, I'd get the same fucking response.

-=Teehe HAHA=-

It would laugh and giggle like a maniac before jumping back into its taunts. Then, when my Party finished off the first mischief, the voice's attitude shifted radically. From its playful and mocking tone to a serious and bloodthirsty one. It demanded I tear into the corpses.

Without registering my own actions, I blacked out…I don't remember dissecting the fourteen rats, I don't remember allowing myself to get covered in viscera, I…don't…remember.

One second I was proudly watching Gabby fire off her arrows; the next, Brance was clearing his throat to get my attention. I knew something had happened, but I needed to cover it up. No…that's not right…I need to talk to Brance; I need to let him know something is wrong…

-=Teehe HAHA=-

Brance and I had already talked about our Bloodlines, and I'd even unlocked a new stat. But it all seemed useless. The Will Power Stat seemed utterly fucking hopeless; according to Tobs, it was supposed to help me control this shit.

-=Teehe HAHA=-

'Stop, shut up, leave me alone.'

-=Teehe HAHA, Teehe HAHA=-

The voice's strange sadistic laughter kept getting louder and louder as I moved deeper into the dungeon.

-=TEEHE HAHA!=-

"[Shadow Sewing]"

Then…everything went black again.

I fucked up this time…I could tell the moment I came too. Gabby…don't look at me like that, Benny…you too…Brance…no, no, not you too. I…I need to go. I have to get out of here. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT; I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. IT'S NOT ME. IT'S THIS FUCKING VOICE!

-=Tee…he…HA…HA=-

'FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!! YOU INCESSANT FUCKING VOICE! I'LL KILL YOU; I'LL FUCKING RIP YOUR TEEHEE RIGHT THE FUCK TO PIECES. THEN, ONCE I GET MY FUCKING HANDS ON YOU, I'LL RIP OUT YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT AND USE IT AS A CONDOM WHILE I FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR SKULL.'

The curses spewed in rapid succession one after another. But the effect was incredible. The voice…finally fell silent for a time. Long enough for me to gather my thoughts.

Looking at my Party…no…my friends and family…I knew I couldn't stay with them right now. I needed to find a way to quiet this shit in my head. I needed to go.

My eyes made contact with Brance's.

{Calm them down, I…I need to go, don't worry about me; when I clear my head, I'll join back up with you all. I'm heading over to the Packhounds and completing my tasks alone. It's better this way for now. I don't want them to be scarred by what's going on with me right now.}

Then…I left.

I ran.

I felt like I was falling, like the world around me was collapsing, but worst of all, I felt like I had reverted entirely back to who I was before WW3. The useless, mentally unhealthy NEET, incapable of progressing further in life. This feeling of failing not only myself but my brother too was killing me inside. I was scared. Scared that I would get myself and even Brance killed if this continued. This can't continue. I can't go on like this…should…should I just end it all.

I subconsciously rubbed my upper arms, where I previously had dozens of scars I had caused to myself during the darkest part of my life on Earth.

That's when it happened. I felt a tug from somewhere deep in my body. At first, I believed it was just a side effect of using my [Shadow Leap], but that changed when Tobs sent over a few notifications.

-The Host is being forcefully pulled into your Sea of Consciousness-

-A third party is in control; any damage you take inside will affect your Soul Directly.-

-The Host is being forcefully dragged into a Turning Point Quest-

-Turning Point Quest: Challenge for Supremacy-

-Due to the influence of your Divine Blessings and your Æsir Bloodline, you have lost control of yourself and are severely affected by it. A third party acting against you has dragged you into your SOC, and to leave, you must defeat this being in combat. If you die in battle, your Soul will collapse and be destroyed, allowing this third Party complete control of your body and replace your existence.-

-Defeat the Æsir Spirit Tyler Primal-

-Reward:???

-Penalty for failure: Soul Destruction-

Fear gripped my heart as I was overcome by a lightheaded feeling and pushed into my SOC.

Opening my eyes and scanning the hellish landscape of my own creation, I felt a sense of calm wash over my body and mind. But unlike the last time I came here, I wasn't alone. Instead, standing across from me was another being. Someone familiar, yet at the same time, oddly different.

It was me…the old me, but not the old me I remember. The person standing feet away had the same face, but this person was built nothing like how I was on Earth. Instead, he was decked out in Viking Style armor and weapons, stood nearly seven feet tall and had a chiseled, muscular, athletic body. 

On his back was a brutal-looking Greatsword, and on both hips, he wore hatchets like the one I had seen Odin wearing. His hair was similar to how I used to wear it, shaved sides, and pulled back into a ponytail. But unlike me of the past, this person was covered in dark-blue Nordic tattoos. Knot-like runes covered the sides of his head and traveled down his neck, all the way to his forearms.

"Teehe HAHA, Well well well, look at this. The youngblood has decided to fight back.." Tyler Primal said using the voice I had been hearing this whole time in my head.