37 Chapter 37

Even though I have been expecting it, I was startled and I ran away from the door. My survival instincts kicked in and I prepared to defend myself.

Only then I noticed that the person standing at the door was Mr. Kenan. My inner conflicts about trusting him were not resolved yet, so I could only stand there without doing anything. He did the same. He probably wasn't expecting me to behave so... 'distant', like we were strangers.

"Did I startle you?" he asked me after a moment of silence. It took me a while to answer.

"S-sort of." I said.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, and... for the earlier..." He tried to say something, probably referring to our previous fight, but couldn't complete the sentence.

"I'm not hostile out of choice, but I can't trust you. If you have friendly intentions, I hope you understand." I said. I was under a lot of pressure by unpredictability and awkwardness.

"I... I'm so sorry." he said, and pointed to Idil, still oblivious of everything going around. "When I saw her laying still on the ground, I thought that... that you were one of them, and you tried to harm her."

"You mean... like my other classmates?" I asked.

"Yes, just like that. Do you know about them?" he said.

"I've encountered them unpleasantly before, so I know they have evil intentions, but there is something I don't quite get." I said. "They are great in numbers, so... how were they affected by 'the community' when they were in a large group? They could easily stand against the manipulations when they were together, am I wrong? What happened?"

"So, there is one more mystery revealed..." said Mr. Kenan, and cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, may I come in?" I have been keeping him from entering the classroom, but I could trust him more easily now.

"Sure." I said. "But still... don't make anything sudden or I will kick you in the face."

"I understand how you feel about me, and I hope you can completely trust me, in time." he said. "But if I stay there in front of the door, someone could easily spot us."

He stepped inside the classroom, and closed the door.

"Where do I begin?" He started talking. "So... you know we have been stuck in this building for quite a while, running around many places non-stop. Naturally, we run out of energy, and some problems arise. We get sleepy, thirsty, hungry; and our bodies constantly signal us to satisfy our needs at once. I think this much is pretty obvious."

"Yes, it is." I said. "To be honest, I have been suffering from lack of energy for a while."

"I'm well aware of that." Mr. Kenan continued. "So, the deal is... 'The community' started exploiting our such weaknesses."

"What do you mean, exactly?" I asked.

"With their influence, we now feel those needs with greater intensity. To simply put it, they enhance some of our unpleasant sensations in a way we can't withstand." Mr. Kenan explained.

"So, when we can't withstand those feelings..." I said.

"Exactly. When the needs arise under the influence of 'the community', one does everything to fulfill the needs and desires, without any regard to the people nearby."

"I see. So, do you know the exact reason behind the attacks of our classmates?" I asked Mr. Kenan.

"Hunger." he replied. "Everyone is hungry."

"Wait!" I raised my voice unintentionally. "Does that mean that they wish to eat... us!?"

"Yes." he simply replied. "Cannibalism, because there is no source of food around here, other than each other. Some of them did try eating paper, though."

"What will we do?" I asked. "What if the same thing happens to us?"

"First and the only thing you must do is to stop thinking about it. Stop asking me about it all the time. The more you think about it, the easier it will be for 'the community' to affect you." he said.

It was hard to divert my thoughts and attention to anything else, but I had to do it.

"As a matter of fact, you were already targeted a few times before." Mr. Kenan said.

"What? In that case, I'm surprised that we are still alive." I said.

"I guess you managed to live through it just fine, but she wasn't good enough." he said, referring to Idil.

I remembered the silent struggles we had in our minds in the hallway earlier, when Idil laid down on the ground and never woke up again. I looked at her once more. She was laying still in the classroom, just behind me.

"So that was it..." I said. "Did she... lose it?"

"Did she lose what?" Mr. Kenan said.

"The silent battle in her mind." I said. "I've experienced it myself, I know what she is going through."

"Perhaps her desire to sleep was overwhelming." Mr. Kenan said. "You are lucky that she wasn't more hungry or thirsty, so she chose to sleep."

"Or maybe she chose to sleep on purpose, in order not to endanger anyone around her!" I said.

"If she was strong enough to do it, that is also a possibility." he said.

"What about you, Mr. Kenan?" I asked.

"What about me?" he replied with a weird expression on his face.

"I mean... Did you ever experience it yourself?" I asked.

"Oh, that... Of course I did, but fortunately, I was more than capable of handling myself." he said. "Mostly." he added a few seconds afterwards. "When I attacked you before, I wasn't exactly doing it myself. I wouldn't act like that without proper reasoning."

"I understand." I said. "But I still fear that we can end up hurting each other."

"Don't fear." he said. "I told you to stop thinking about it. Fear can be one of your biggest weaknesses, and by overthinking about things, you are giving your enemies a clear shot."

"Okay, I think I get it." I said. "What will we do about her?" I asked, pointing at Idil.

Before Mr. Kenan could respond, we heard something from the hallway.

"Let's worry about her next, shall we?" he said.