Chapter 1-40: Death by Kitten

The bike’s wheels didn’t even crunch on the pebbles and grit, nor did it leave treadmarks. Sleipner slowly cruised the streets, sweeping back and forth for the trail, making progress down the streets, towards one of the fringe areas.

He held up his hand, and the bike halted promptly. He pointed at a fenced-in area. CARRION, he pointed out, and my eyes narrowed.

“Undead?” I asked, and he shook his head, hopping off the bike as if he weighed less than his boots, while I took the opportunity to stand up on the seat. “Bring me in next to the fence,” I asked the unicorn, who politely trundled after Fred.

The wooden fence was six feet high and rather dilapidated. Fred hopped over it so smoothly he didn’t even break stride, and probably barely noticed it. The bike pulled up next to it so I could look over it, scanning just in case.

It looked like a run-down house, abandoned and just sitting here... but the front door was intact, which was surprising. Fred hopped up on the porch, sniffed the air, peered inside intently, and perhaps unsurprisingly, drew out Idiot in knife mode. The quarters might be tight, and it would be a better defense than his Grit... which he could have in hand nigh instantly if needed.

The door was unlocked. He opened it up, stepped around the side, and went in.

I was being watched. I turned around instantly, looking at everything.

No people visible here. No cars passing... isolated. Birds in droopy trees, on eaves, a squirrel going down a power line, a kitten rolling over by a fence, windows shut, the water of the river visible between two warehouses...

The kitten rolled over and looked back at me. Cute, fuzzy thing...

“Sleipner,” I called out quietly, “can you sense any aura at all from that kitten over there?”

The handlebars moved fractionally, as the kitten got up, stretching out cutely, and began to amble my way.

Sleipner’s engine rumbled to life.

I dropped down onto the seat. “IT’S DISGUISED AS A KITTEN!” I yelled at the top of my voice, as Sleipner gunned it.

The kitten didn’t seem to be moving fast, but it was covering three times the space it should, acting kind of jerky and uncoordinated, stirring shreds of cuteness-sympathy in me as Sleipner burned rubber away.

And then it was airborne, jumping really cutely, like it was hopping for a butterfly... except it was now five feet off the ground and soaring at me.

Sleipner fishtailed as I ripped a vial out of my jacket where I’d stashed it, and threw it with a little Minor TK. I aimed about a foot above the cute little thing that was coming down to the side of me.

That wasn’t holy water. That was blessed oil. Armory of Harse temple, pick up some goodies, yo?

The glass was designed to fracture dramatically if struck above a certain threshold, and it shattered all over the place. Gooey, sticky stuff blew over the side of the creature, painting the side of its neck and head in sticky drops of blessed flammable stuff.

The kitten also got smears on it, distractingly enough, and Sleipner pulled away with taunting ease.

Warlock Fred came down from above at five gravities. Over a thousand pounds of weight smashed the not-kitty to the ground, and the full length of Idiot, Runes all aglow, drove down and vanished through almost two feet of empty space before the tip emerged and crunched into the asphalt of the street the creature had been driven down to.

His other hand snaked around its unseen throat, and wrenched it back. He pulled out Idiot by dint of shrinking it back to dagger length, and heaved to the side, rolling over and towards the fence and sidewalk, away from the street, as he drove the blazing dagger-now-shortsword in again, and again, and again.

The kitten was tumbling in midair wildly as Fred kept his arms and legs locked on nothing.

“Sleipner! Use the Wrath to Bless your horn, impale it!”

The unicorn skidded into a tight turn, literally flipping its back end around. I let myself roll off, and the bike gunned it, the front tire pulling in so the headlight extended further then it did... and two feet of silvery unicorn horn glowed golden beyond that.

Fred saw it coming, put his feet down, and heaved back on whatever he was holding onto.

The full mass of the bike smashed into nothing, and bike, nothing, illusionary kitten, and Fred went slamming back through the fence, blowing it all to flinders scattered over the overgrown lawn.

I saw Sleipner chew up the lawn with his tire, spinning in a tight circle, gyros getting him back to his wheels as he got back to even keel, pulling his horn out of a now-visible creature there.

It sort of looked like a tiger with the color pattern, but the hair was longer, stiffer, yet kind of mangy. It had two short curling horns coming down to the sides of its head, the ears were serrated... and it looked like it had saber-like claws curling back up and off its toes.

And no kitten around anywhere. Strange, that.

Fred heaved the dead beast off himself like five hundred pounds was a sack of potatoes, and got to his feet easily, looking none the worse for wear.

I COULD FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN DAMAGE REDUCTION, he noted to me in burning words, while looking down at the thing. WHAT KIND OF TIGER IS THIS?

“Rakshasa-blooded. Immune to low-end magic, which is why it didn’t pop up on the Eyes of you or Sleipner.” I gestured at the unicorn horn dripping with dark blood, and a vivic Dart wooshed over to it and burned the alicorn clean. He revved gratefully. “I’m gathering several dead were in the house, none of them Animated?”

CORRECT. That meant something had killed them thoroughly enough that negative energy couldn’t Animate them... which required a supernatural being. I SAW A PAW PRINT AND REALIZED IT WAS A BIG CAT. He popped up a burning image of it, complete with the odd lines of the reverse claws extending out from it.

“Are you capable of making sterile holding containers?” I asked him.

FROM THE STONE OR CEMENT OF THE CITY-?, he replied, wondering why.

I pointed. “That thing’s blood is like liquid gold. Make me a pot and we’ll collect it and sell it.” He blinked, and stepped towards the sidewalk to do just that. “Its hide, when treated, will make an excellent cloak or leather armor, magic-resistant and the like. And the head makes a Baneskull to Magical Beasts. It should have a nodule or crystal in its brain that is the focus of its magical abilities, which is a true power component.”

IT’S NADS?, he asked, and didn’t even smile.

“That tiger balls fertility stuff just uses them as an excuse,” I sniffed. “Let’s make some money here.”

A jar had flowed out of the sidewalk. He brought it in and set it down next to the unnatural tiger. Prestidigitation made a thin line of blood start pulling out from its jugular, and into the container. Gentle Repose on the mess made certain it would not spoil or decay until we got it to where we were going.

It had a few gallons of the stuff, and when the jug was almost full, Fred sealed it up, then proceeded to cut off the skull, and pulled out its brains, prying them apart until he found the dark, oily crystal in the center. He then chopped off the claws, and proceeded to skin the rest of it with Idiot in knife mode, his clean and quick cuts indicating that he had done this before, and his strength and the toughness of the hide making it unusually easy to do so without ripping the final result.

I busied myself using vivus on the four corpses in the house, although I was sure some ghouls would have stumbled onto them in a day or two and cleaned them up. I didn’t see any kind of identification on them... they were just going to quietly disappear, as if they’d never been.

On second thought, I cleaned off their skulls, but left them intact. There was magic that could identify them by their skulls.

I went back outside when done, and proceeded to vivic what remained of the rakshasa-blooded tiger.

I’d looped a belt through the eyes of the four skulls. “We need to drop these off at the local Temple to Harse, make a quick report, and be on our way. Keep the crystal, but we can dispose of the fur and blood. Why don’t you call up Gregorigori, I’ll make the report, and he can forward it on to the Temple?”

He pulled out his Vaccine, picked up the blood, put it into a saddlebag that suddenly extended out from Sleipner, and dropped the skulls and wrapped fur in the one on the other side as the phone rang. The high-pitched voice answered, “Hey, Fred, what’s up?”

I took the phone he held out to me. “Master Gregorigori, this is Traveler. I am with Warlock Fred. We were doing a favor for Philadelphia, and tracked down a rakshasa-blooded tiger that was using the illusionary disguise of a kitten to conceal itself from the locals. It has killed at least four of the local homeless. I have their skulls with me, and am going to bring them to the local temple of Harse so they can identify them. We removed the beast’s nexal crystal, have about two gallons of its blood, and all of its reverse claws, as well as its hide. We’d like to sell the latter three if possible, but if not, Warlock Fred is going to burn them and will need access to an Investment Pattern. Our current location is the site of the altercation.

“Do you have any further questions?”

“Have Sleipner send what video he has.” The bike neighed obligingly. “Any injuries or property damage?”

“The sidewalk has a gouge in it, and we trashed the fence after Sleipner charged the beast and lanced it quite nicely.”

“Woo-hoo!” the gnome on the other end called out, and Sleipner nickered in response. “Okay, I’ll notify The Resting Gavel you’re coming; just give them the skulls and they’ll take it from there. As for the rest... are you in need of cash?”

I looked at Fred, who shook his head. “He says no.”

“Then burning them is the best thing you can do. I’ll notify The First Light of Dawn to have something ready. The fur, though... you’re right, that should be good for a stealth suit, some of the shadow warriors will want it. What’s your assessment on the QL?”

“He did a good job on the skinning. If you get an excellent tanner, it could get to QL 32.”

“NICE. Okay, yeah, there’ll definitely be demand for it. Having a tiger-pattern should only up the demand more. Should be able to get you fair value for it, no problem.” I could hear keystrokes in the background, sounding like a machine assembly line with their speed. “I got it handled. Put Fred back on, please, Miss Traveler.”

“Yes, Master Gregorigori.” I held the phone back out, and Fred took it, careful not to touch my fingers, an interested look in his eye. He turned it over and held it up to his ear, tapping it once, and ignored me as I realized I’d been holding it upside down. I just sighed.

There wasn’t much discussion, and it was all pretty much one-sided, with button beeps for yes and no before Fred eventually hung up. He cocked his head at me, and I hopped back into my seat on Sleipner readily enough.

-----

We were on the way to the Temple some miles away when letters flashed up on his shoulder: GRAB THE ENVELOPE.

I blinked, and looked to the right, where a nervous-looking fellow in a long coat was reaching into his pocket, and had pulled out an envelope.

Minor TK reached out and snatched it out of his hand as we swept past. He looked both shocked and relieved that we’d taken it.

I thumbed it open, and lifted an eyebrow at the fat supply of green and iridescents. “What’s this?”

PHILLY PAYING ME FOR SERVICES RENDERED.

I had to grin despite myself. “Thought she might direct you to go dig in an abandoned lot somewhere for gold coins someone buried.”

THAT HAPPENS TOO, he answered without turning his head. KEEPS SLEIPNER IN THE GOOD DWARVEN WHISKEY FOR HIS BACK-UP FUEL SUPPLY. SILLY UNICORN IS SOMETHING OF A CONNOISSEUR OF FLAMMABLE FUELS...

Sleipner neighed emphatic agreement.