Chapter 9-275: There is Still Free Will

“I’m so, so clear-headed. All my hate just seems so small, and my desires seem so petty. I’m looking at this whole world full of dangerous, vile stuff, and what I was subjected to was like nothing.” Her face had fallen completely. “It was all so small and petty...”

“Well, that’s the advantage of high Stats, you look at the world differently,” I agreed with her. I couldn’t see the spirits moving through the environment like she could through him, but I could definitely see the slime on my eyes that was the Qi, and all those things up there in the Haze, always following me and what I was doing. “Also, just so you know, he’s got the equivalent of severe brain damage from what was done to him. His emotional range is pretty tight.”

She shook again. “I know. I can feel it. I was never really able to control my emotions, they were the only thing that kept me alive. Right now, they’re just... nothing. They’re just as strong as before, but they’re just... nothing.”

Well, that was believable. What were the emotions of someone who was a 12 in Charisma and a Two going to compare to a 30 Charisma? 7%?

“And just because I’m totally not curious at all, you do know he’s a guy, right?”

She hissed in another breath. “It is... not so different from being an Amazon. I... the world was a dangerous place to me. To an Amazon, it is filled with things to fight. This... is more like seeing things to defend against, to protect, to defy, to clean up...”

“Well, he’s not got anywhere near the hyperaggressive streak that Amazons do, but he does have a nigh-fatal sense of responsibility. He’s one of those people who don’t like to fight, didn’t like to fight... and then that last line was crossed, and now he fights with everything.”

“He is kind.” I didn’t notice the tear trickling down her cheek, not me. “He didn’t have to do this, and he wouldn’t have treated me like so many people did...”

“So, why would he be kind to you?” I prodded her.

Her eyes flashed. She was borrowing his brains, and by default, whatever basic knowledge came with it... and which knowledge he could choose for her. +10 Skill Points per Level, chosen from what he wanted, and likely a very different selection than the default Amazon choices...

“He wants to redeem me.” She took another deep breath. “I’m still going Down, there’s no stopping it, but I’m not dead yet, as long as I stay here, so I still have Free Will...”

“Which you totally don’t have to do, because you’re going to burn regardless,” I agreed.

Her eyes narrowed, despite herself. “So is he...”

“Yes.”

“He’s still going to fight.” Her fist closed, her eyes jerking sideways as I flicked a finger and a flight of Shards streaked off ahead of us as we approached another town along the road, followed by another, and another. The air was full of radiant vessels of Holy Force raging this way and that as Sleipner slowed down, making sure I had time to kill the scattered figures gathering to face us, their Mantra Chant rising and raising hackles of peace, joy, obey, submit on the skin.

Just automatons slaved to the Mantra, now.

---

I started up again after we finished passing through. “Of course. And when he gets Down There, Hell will doubtless take out on him the fact that he has been a horrible deal for them, regardless of how they want to spin it. They’re going to get crap for Sin out of him, and he’s Heavenbound... When they are done with him, they have to give him back. He may not even be recognizable as himself, but the paltry return is just going to encourage others to gaff Hell, too.

“They might even have to change their policies and only offer Hellpacts to those already going Down, as encouragement for such behavior, who knows? And those people could still gaff them. Even Hellbound people like the idea of gaffing Hell, and Free Will is a thing. It isn’t like they are going to get rewarded for ending up there. Once you’re dead, your value to Hell is what you did, not what you will do.”

She grimaced, doubtless looking at her life with a monstrously enhanced mental capacity, and not liking what she saw. “They took advantage of me...” she began.

“And you took advantage of them.” I knocked on her head, and she frowned again. “Take responsibility for what you did. Own your mistakes. Acknowledge they are mistakes, your mistakes. Otherwise, it’s just Sin, and fat fuel for Hell.”

Her knuckles popped as she clenched them, sounded like rocks breaking. “I’m not sure I can, if I go back to being me.”

“Then all this is useless. The aspect of you thinking all this is from a Pact, and has no Free Will, regardless of where it comes from... it’s a magical Buff. The only part that is important is the one that is you.

“When he withdraws that Pact and you’re reduced to just you, you better stop and think and decide the fate of your soul, because right now it’s looking pretty bad for you.”

She slumped in dejection, doubtless thinking that with such a monstrous Buff like this doing the Right Thing would be easy. But no... outside influences making you do the right thing was no more Free Will than someone Possessing you and killing others with your hands was.

“It’s still MY choice. Choices. Good or bad. And at least I’m being given a chance.”

“Take it, or just sit there, whine, bitch, moan, complain, scream as you burn, it’s all up to you. But if you don’t take it to heart and think it’s just a way to stop burning, HAH! You’re just accumulating more Sin.”

She took a deeper breath. “He has to let me out here without the mental Buffs, then.”

“I’m sure that won’t be a problem. Off with you, go think. You’ve got lots of time to contemplate the gratitude of Hell.”

“Would Rue treat Her servants any different?” she had to ask.

“Her primary servants are erinyes and frostmaidens. Are you an erinyes or a frostmaiden?”

“No...”

“Have you committed enough Sin that you believe you will spontaneously turn into one when your soul is shuffled into her realm?”

“No...”

“Then you’ll be cooked in hellfire, rendered down into Sin along with other souls, and then all of you will be agglomerated and reformed into an erinyes or frostmaiden who is actually useful to her. Without your Pact, you’re like, what, a Two?”

Her face twisted again. “I was a Six!”

“If you don’t have the Stats to keep the Level without the Pact... no, you weren’t. Real Amazons use their Stat gains to address their foundation for just that reason. You weren’t told the same, eh? All that sin accumulating on a Two, so much easier to deal with...”

She made another disparaging laugh. “Why tell me otherwise? It made me easier to manage!”

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to work with the literal Queen of Pain. You didn’t think they were going to treat someone like a valuable equal, when she got all her ability from the Pact they gave her?”

Her brown eyes flashed. “I did...”

“Uh-huh. You die, they hand the Pact over to someone, get another Amazon just like you, just needing some seasoning. Consider the implications. Amazons have no unique ability, nothing that sets them apart from one another, save how long they’ve served. One is just as replaceable as another, when it comes down to it. Too many think of themselves as unique and blessed servants of their goddesses, but all the Pact really is, is a suit of armor any woman can put on, and have all the talents of their predecessor.”

“I truly was nothing special. I did nothing with the chance but what they wanted me to...”

“Horrible being able to look back and see through all that stuff, isn’t it? People you thought understood and valued you, treating you like that only because it was so easy to replace you with someone just like you. Hell’s appetite is never sated, after all.”

“I had no awareness or care about the metagame, what lies behind life and death. Without understanding or caring about their motivations, I was just a pawn to be manipulated...”

“Pawns are there to be sacrificed and replaced,” I noted to her.

“Yes...”

There was a blurring and bulking up as her face flowed away, and the hell-scarred face of Master Fred replaced hers.

-Thank you for being open-minded about this,- he /said to me.

“A Heavenbound will do what he has to for the sake of a soul. It’s nothing... although I do find it funny that if this works, you’re going to have your own internal harem.”

-Better than screaming victims of their own short-sightedness.-

That was true. He had been the one to ‘kill’ them, and they had definitely deserved it, but it was also his choice to let them get cooked, or actually do something with them.

“I didn’t ask before. Who have you got in there?”

-Nine Ruedian Amazons, three Burning Veil Warlocks, two Priestesses of Rue.-

“Your choice of internal accompaniment is disturbing, Master Fred.”

-Their rather deviant interests in sadism and masochism is not one of their finer points,- he /agreed. -For some reason, enjoying whips and chains does not help when dealing with hellfire.-

“Strange, that. I’d ask you to introduce me to them, but on second thought, they can introduce themselves.”

-Yes. I am trying to consider a use for the three Warlocks and the Priestesses, but I am coming up empty.-

“Mmm. Well, the Priestesses can technically pray for spells and Channel still, which means they could use Soul Theurgy to transfer those to you to use in your Wrath, just like our Eldritch Theurgy.”

He blinked. -That’s... like a cheating version of spellcasting, isn’t it?- he had to /say.

“Well, yes. But the only Casting Matrix available is yours, which you’ve Nogged mostly dry, so you’ll have to rebuild it for them to use, and they’ll have to do something like Cast without moving or words or components while burning in hellfire, since you can’t actually Cast.”

-I’m not going to fill my Matrix with Divine energy from Hell,- he /declared firmly.

“So they’d have to abandon their goddess, too. So cruel, Master Fred!”

The corner of his mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile. -Free Will is a horrible thing. It’s a good thing their goddesses can’t actually do anything about it yet, isn’t it?-

“Oh, apostasy isn’t a thing until the Divine are actually here and looking at you? Master Fred, now you’re encouraging subversive thinking and blasphemy. I really don’t know what to do with you.”

-And the Burning Veil Warlocks?-

I considered that as we moseyed along the decaying road on Sleipner’s super-smooth ride. “Well, now. You can probably swap their Hellpact in for yours, as long as you go Amazon. The Burning Veil has a lot more utility than the Hungry Kiss, most of whose power is tied up in the whole Consume thing. Hell won’t care either way, and if such a thing encourages you to Consume, bottoms up!”

-Ah, I thought Shvaughn was using a specialized Fire Pact for some of the things she did. It seems I was mistaken.-

“Also, if you can swap their Pacts in for yours, can you then swap some of yours in for theirs?”

He glanced at me again. -Possibly?- Meaning he hadn’t tried.

“Well, they are single Pact Warlocks. They can learn Purity.”