Chapter 109 - Ren's Confession

Ren, do you love me?

And if you don't love me yet .. will you be able to love me in the future?

These were two questions that had been bothering Fae for several days. She thought about it for a long time and finally decided to talk about it to Ren after her heart calmed down.

Ren stared at Fae without blinking for a long time, but his expression did not change at all. He didn't look surprised, as if he had been waiting for this question from her.

He squeezed Fae's hand gently and then answered in a voice that remained earnest, "I don't love you. Not because I don't want to ... but because I just can't fall in love."

"I ... I don't understand ..." said Fae, confused. 

"I'm an aromantic, Fae. I have no romantic attraction to other people... In short, I am not interested in love. There is never a butterfly in my stomach when I see a woman I love, or the desire to watch the sunset together with the loved one, things that people in 'love' normally do. However, I can commit to you and care for you, and try to make you happy, but I can't love you. In my 30 years of life, I've never loved a woman romantically before." 

"But ... if you can't love women ... how can you sleep with them ...?" Fae knew that she was not the first woman to have slept with her husband, so she deliberately referred to Ren's past experiences with other women.

"Being aromantic is different from being an asexual. People who are asexuals have absolutely no sexual attraction toward others. They can fall deeply in love with someone, but they have no interest in having sex with that person they love. That means they can fall in love and get married and whatnot .. but they will not be able to have sex. While aromantic people are the opposite ... They cannot fall in love, but they can have a deep relationship with someone and have sexual relations as usual. There are also aromantic people who are asexual as well, which means they have absolutely no attraction to both love and sex. They are called aroace. I am just an aro." Ren explained slowly and gently. He knew all this information was too much for Fae to handle in one go.

"Oh ..." Fae pressed her lips together. She had never heard of this condition before.

Were Ren's words true? Or was it just an excuse on his part?

Seeing Fae's doubtful expression, Ren then took his cell phone from the nightstand beside the bed and searched some scientific sources on the internet for the girl to read it. "If you don't believe me, you can read it yourself."

Fae was stunned as her eyes swept across the cellphone screen and read the contents of an article on a scientific website about aromantic and asexual conditions that Ren had just discussed.

"So ... I already know that I can't fall in love. I've met so many women in my life and none of them made me feel love. It's just who I am." Ren patted Fae's hand lightly as he continued his words.

"But... why?" Fae could only ask, without finishing her sentence. She was at a loss for words.

"Why did I quickly formalize our relationship and ask you to marry me? Because when I met you, I immediately felt that you are the right woman for me. I've never met a girl so perfect like you, and at that time, I told myself that I would be stupid to let you go. That's all. My reason is very simple."

Fae bit her lip. She was still shocked by Ren's explanation. She believed in him, but the information she had just received took some time to sink in her mind.

What a surprise. She did not expect this.

Maybe the adage was true, that when something is too good to be true, then it probably is. No human being is perfect. Ren looks so perfect in all aspects. He had a very handsome physique, a genius brain, abundant wealth, and even the title as the prince of a small kingdom in Europe. However, despite all that perfection, it turns out that he cannot fall in love. 

Slowly Fae became sorry for her husband. She felt happy when they got married and thought that he loved her back. She could experience happiness caused by love. Meanwhile, Ren would never know how it felt to have a butterfly in the stomach; nervousness when they wanted to confess their love; happiness when they held hands with their loved one and see the sunset together.

This man was more likely to feel happy because of a night of good sleep or good food, not because of love. He... was different from her.

Ah ... now Fae understood why Ren married her. Apart from all the reasons her husband had mentioned, Fee did make Ren feel happy. He could rest and sleep comfortably with her by his side. Of course, it was a very important and valuable thing for him.

The girl began to weigh her own feelings. Wouldn't it be better if she could make Ren relaxed and rest well? It means Ren would always go to her to get his fix. If Ren had gotten that from another woman, then she could feel upset.

After all ... Fae had to admit that Ren had always treated her well, even though he didn't 'love' her romantically.

If Ren was aromantic, of course, Fae wouldn't have to worry that her husband would be attracted to other women and fall in love with them, because he couldn't.

"Sorry ... I didn't know your condition ..." whispered Fae finally.

Ren shook his head. "This is not a condition in a sense like I am sick or something. I am just different. Just like not everyone is interested in sex, not every human is interested in romance."

"But... why didn't you tell me this from the beginning?" Fae asked. "I had to find out about it in an unpleasant way."

"Hmm... I didn't tell you because I didn't think it was important. I saw you were happy as long as we were together. That means you were satisfied with everything I did for you. I was hoping you didn't need to know. As long as you thought all my actions to you were done because of love, we both would actually be fine. I mean, I am not interested in doing those lovey dovey things with you, but it doesn't hurt me if I did, if that makes you happy." Ren took Fae's hair, which fell down her cheek as she lowered her head and tucked it behind her ear. "I didn't know you would hear my conversation with Amelia on the phone at such a bad timing and you only heard the line that I don't love you ..."

Fae gasped. She did not know that Ren knew she heard his conversation with Amelia.

"How do you know?" asked Fae in amazement. She didn't expect Ren to accurately guess she heard him talking on the phone.

"I just concluded by myself. Your attitude changed after I talked to Amelia on the phone. After I thought about the contents of our conversation, I can guess you heard what I said about me not loving you."

"I don't understand why you discussed it with Amelia. You guys seem very close ..."

"Hmm ... We are really close. She has been my friend since childhood. She once liked me, but I told her about my condition and emphasized I couldn't love her. We then decided to remain friends. When I married you, she wanted to make sure I did not lie to her about me being aromantic. That's why those words came out during that conversation. I am not lying." Ren stared at Fae intently. His eyes showed he regretted that she overheard him. "Fae, I can't 'love' you the way you love me... but because I have made up my mind to make you my wife, I will commit to you, care for you, and make you happy."

Fae was stunned by Ren's explanation. Unknowingly, tears started flowing down her cheeks.

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Author's note:

What do you think about Ren's confession? 

Aromantic is a spectrum including a wide range of romantic experiences and expressions.

Some people feel this way occasionally. Others feel this way frequently or all the time, which means they're likely to be aromantic. Aromantic is different from asexual (people who are not interested in sex). Aromantic people can enjoy sex without romance, and asexual people can enjoy romance without sex. 

Essentially, a person who is aromantic does not usually experience romantic attraction to other individuals. Someone who is aromantic typically does not feel the desire to pair up with another person in a romantic relationship.

Being aromantic is not a mental disorder. It is simply another way of being human with all of our various preferences.

Whereas many people experience an emotional need to be in a romantic relationship, aromantics are emotionally satisfied without this kind of partnership. It's certainly possible for an aromantic person to enjoy activities that are commonly considered romantic. However, these actions are unlikely to prompt romantic feelings in them.

Even though they don't seek out romantic partnerships, aromantic people can still experience love. Love and affection can appear in many different forms and in different types of relationships.. All people, regardless of romantic attachment styles, have multiple types of relationships in their lives, including family, friends, colleagues, and sexual partners.