Chapter 119 - Crying To Sleep

Fae felt sad because she could not accompany Ren in his state duties. After one year of marriage, only today did she feel pain by her status as Ren's secret wife.

She understood that Ren was keeping their marriage a secret because he wanted to protect her from the public, and of course, the royal family's criticism, but that didn't mean Fae would feel okay.

"I'm not an angel who is perfect in every way and could pretend to be okay when my husband went out with another woman to meet official delegates..." Fae whispered in a pained voice.

"Fae, I don't go out with another woman. Amelia has been my secretary for a long time. Her family also has quite an important position in this kingdom. What I'm doing is part of my job ..." Ren said patiently. "You know I don't like to be in this position, but I can't just walk away."

Fae looked away. She understood that Amelia was indeed her husband's secretary. Still, she hated it when she heard the way Amelia was talking on the phone earlier. Amelia acted as if she and Ren were the hosts to welcome the state's guests.

If she acted like that toward Ren, what would the outsiders think about them? Wouldn't they think that Ren and Amelia were actually a couple?

"I don't want to talk about it," said Fae finally. She cast her eyes out the window. She was worried that if they continued to talk about Amelia and her status as Ren's secret wife, she would become emotional and say things she would regret.

Ren looked at his wife's face that turned to the side, completely unwilling to look at him. His expression was complicated as he stared at Fae's side profile. Secretly, he admired the perfect silhouette.

Fae always looked beautiful, no matter what her expression, whether she was smiling, sad, even angry like now. Ren had never seen such a beautiful human being like this girl. Her name Fae suited her very well. She did look like a gentle fairy. 

Fae bit her lip, trying to hold back from crying. She would act fine until Ren left. Only then would she shed her tears.

***

In a beautiful cafe by a canal in Rotterdam, two beautiful women were sitting enjoying a cocktail and sparkling wine. Summer weather like this was perfect for enjoying refreshing beverages, and that was what they were doing now.

Sophia took a slow sip of her prosecco. Her face looked bored. Again and again, she tapped her long beautiful fingers on the table.

The woman in front of her was wearing a cafe waiter uniform and was enjoying a mojito. Their cafe today was rather quiet, there were not many guests, so the two could sit down to rest and enjoy the time to chat.

"It's been over five years," commented the waiter, looking closely at Sophia. "Has Master told you the next step?"

Sophia just took a deep breath. Her face looked irritated, but she couldn't do anything about it. "He said it's not the time yet. I've never met someone so patient like him."

"It's been a long time. After five years, chances are her family will think their daughter is already dead, and they will stop looking. Then ... they will just grieve for a few years and then move on."

"I guess that's what he wants. He wants the family to grieve and let go... then when they feel it's time to move on ... he will hit them hard," said Sophia. "At least, that's my guess. He never wants to tell me what he's really planning. So, I don't know ..."

"Why not? Doesn't he trust you?"

"I think he is worried I'll open my mouth under duress if I find out his full plan. As far as I know, Lauriel has a potion called Veritaserum. If they forced me to drink it, they would be able to make me talk. If that happens, and I know all his plans, Lauriel will be able to catch him, "Sophia explained. "So, he told me as little as possible to protect himself."

"Sir hasn't come here for a long time, huh ..." the waiter said in a worried voice. "I think he's getting busier every day."

This time Sophia didn't answer. She also missed the man, but she could not take the initiative to come to him. She had promised to do her part and keep him away from Alaric, Lauriel, and Caspar's people.

'You will have forever to be together, Sophia... You must be patient and wait for all this ordeal to end. Wait until you can get your revenge.' The beautiful girl tried to cheer herself up.

***

Fae cried silently in her room after Ren left for the palace to attend a state banquet with Amelia. It made Fae so jealous and it was eating her inside. She didn't want Linda and the rest of their staff to know she was feeling upset. In front of them, she tried to look like nothing happened.

With a smiling face, she told Linda that she was fasting for a detoxification program and asked the staff not to prepare dinner for her. Thus, Fae could cry as much as she wanted in her room without being disturbed by anyone.

Fae was deeply saddened. She didn't know whether she would be able to hold back her feelings for the next four years. In just one year, she already started feeling the pain.

Then .. what if Ren couldn't step down from his position? What if his cousin couldn't produce a son to be the male heir? She only could cry.

In her heart, Fae was thinking of the worst case scenario. If Ren was to remain in his position and then he ascended the throne as the new king of Moravia, there was a possibility that he would be forced to secretly divorce Fae and marry a noblewoman who would suit his status.

She could be a noblewoman from Moravia or from other European countries. It was highly unlikely that he would keep Fae as his wife because not only was the girl from a village, uneducated, and poor, but he keeping Fae would mean he would be forced to disclose the fact that he had been secretly married a few years earlier.

That would be a huge scandal that could ruin the royal family's reputation.

Fae knew that the Moravian Royal family deeply hated scandals. The previous king before King Gustave was also forced to abdicate due to a scandal. The position as the king was later passed down to his younger brother, the current king, Ren's grandfather.

All this made Fae even sadder. Unknowingly, she had cried for hours in solitude. She cried until she was exhausted and finally fell asleep in bed with wet eyes. 

***

Ren came home from the royal gala at 11 pm. To his surprise, he saw Fae lay on the bed with a damp pillow. The man could only stand where he was and watched at Fae with a complicated look.

A few moments later, he sighed and walked out. That night, Ren didn't sleep in their room. He spent the night in his study, reading and drinking wine. He couldn't sleep at all.

When Fae woke up the next morning, she was puzzled because she could not find Ren beside her.

Did Ren not come home all night? She wondered.

Dressed in her night robe, Fae walked out to find her husband in the study. Sure enough, she found the man sitting in his chair, working on something on his laptop. Fee walked over to Ren.

"What time did you come home last night?" asked Fae.

"11 pm," replied Ren. He closed his laptop and looked at Fae, who was standing silently beside him. "I can't sleep, and I don't want to disturb you. That's why I'm here."

"You ... can't sleep?" Fae pressed her lips at Ren's words. From the day that they were married, Ren had never had trouble sleeping. Why was he now suddenly unable to sleep again?

Was Fae no longer useful for him?

The thought suddenly devastated her.