As the carriage continues their journey Lory lay her head on Zhao Li Xin's c.h.e.s.t, she doesn't say anything for hours and Zhao Li Xin didn't force her either, he knew what she needs right now is comfort and support, Zhao Li Xin holds her with one hand while his other hand stroke her hair tenderly.
"Do you think….I was meant to destroy the world?" Lory's abrupt question breaks the silence.
"Why do you think so?" Zhao Li Xin asked calmly seemingly unfazed by her question.
"I don't know, no matter what I do I end up messed up everything, is like everything I touch fall apart" she raised slowly from his c.h.e.s.t and take a deep breath "All I ever want that everyone is alive and well…but my mother die for me, my father die too, at the end I lost Girsha as well....although he is not actually dead, however, he is in a deep slumber and I don't think he will ever wake up...and he never did even until my last moment" she looks down as hopelessness and grief slowly devour her leaving her nothing but pain and regret.
"I know I have lost my mind, everyday bit by bit I was pushed to the edged I felt overwhelmed by the burden and the secret, slowly but surely it scr.a.p.e my sanity…I know then….I know that I will not make it, there would be no light at the end of my tunnel, I know what waiting behind this darkness is only more darkness…" she said with self-deprecating smiles
"It's a bizarre episode of my life which I don't remember too much, one day I can think clearly while the next I feel like a walk in limbo, is like the world is spinning right in front of you and all bad thought that you bury deep inside your heart jump right in front of you" her sigh was of a softly deflating.
Lory sits still without moving her eyes fixed at the window across of her, the curtain flutter slowly as the wind blows gently somehow it gives her a sense of comfort, lory take a deep breath as she continues "I know when Lazarus was released he will hurt a lot of people there's no doubt about it, so I cooked up some plan that not even Girsha could know, In a deep corner of abandoned library I found an ancient spell to destroy souls and not just my soul I could destroy Lazarus too or at least weaken him so my brother could kill him, at that time I rejoiced I thought this is a faith…my faith"
Zhao Li Xin turns his head away from her, what tortured him the most is how little she value her own life, how could she be so reckless with her own life however he realizes this is not the right time to be angry, but watching her like this is like night and day compare to the cheerful and bright little princess that he knew and it shattered his heart.
Lory who oblivious about Zhao Li Xin thought still continue "And somehow my plan didn't work, I'm still alive, Girsha alive…thank goodness but unfortunately so is Lazarus" Lory lean her back on the cushion she stares the wall of the carriage with a complicated feeling, should she feel happy, glad, relief or should she felt angry and disappointed because her plan is ruined.
"And that thing followed me here and I don't know how Lao Min Na found it, the fact remains she foolishly make a deal with the Lazarus...." Lory let out a long exhale, she feel tired and defeated.
"How can that be your fault…" Zhao Li Xin's eyebrows furrows and his expression become somber he doesn't understand why she always blamed herself at the end.
"Is it not?" Lory glances at Zhao Li Xin "If I was not here, Lazarus would not be here, Lao Min Na wouldn't encounter with Lazarus, and all the bad thing she did to those poor people, Including Li Mo Zhen how could I washed my hands from this "
"Lory, you are sent here because of a reason, this is not your choice" Zhao Li Xin cut in
Zhao Li Xin cupped her hands and stare deeply to her eyes as he speaks softly toward her "My dear princess, everything that happens in the world weather is good or bad is not for you to decide, Everything that happened it's a result of the decision that everyone made, I made my owned decision, you made your decision, that brat and everyone else also made their owned decision no one can't interfere, life is a sequence of decision that leads us to our place right now so I don't believe you alone should hold responsibility for this world faith, no matter how strong your power is, no matter how great your lineage is you still only a human, you bleed and cry just like the rest of us so how could you the only one shoulder this burden....it doesn't make sense" Zhao Li Xin chuckles and smiles.
Something inside of her crumbles and the shackles that weigh her down suddenly broken, grew up as a princess, and Lucient heir Lory knew she is not like everybody that means she would never have a normal life, she had long accepted that her life will no be smooth sailing despite all the privileged that bestowed on her.
She understands that her name came with duty and responsibility beyond her imagination, that's why she has work harder and longer than anyone else because that the only way she can be strong enough to carry the burden of her legacy or she would be crush by it.
With Lucient as her last name people have a great expectation to her especially after her father dies, and her brother is under the 'King Trial' procession, Lory is expected not only as a princess, she also, a leader, a warrior, and a protector all in the same time before too long she forgot that she is only 'Lory' a teenaged girl who hadn't experience her first kiss.
Even after she left the L'Markieth to continue her search she still maintains contacts with the administration that runs the L'markiet from time to time just o make sure everything is alright and it continues until the last two years of her life because at that time Lazarus influenced is too great and she barely maintained her sanity since then she can't lose her focus anymore or she would completely become insane before she could save Lucas.
"Hush now, down cry my dear wife" Zhao Li Xin wiped the tears on her cheeks with his thumb "We are husband and wife we share everything for better or worst, your sins and burden will be mine I'll carry half if not all of it as long you stop crying, you know I can't handle everything but your tears" he teasingly smiles at her.
Lory chuckles but tears still flows on her cheeks "Okay…" Lory sniffles and wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes "Fine, but I will carry your sin and burden too just as you said for better and worst isn't it?"
Zhao Li Xin squint his eyes, he shows reluctance to let her carry his sins, Lory saw the hesitation in his eyes then she hits Zhao Li Xin's c.h.e.s.t lightly "Don't you dare using a double standard with me now!" she pretends to be mad.
How could he not hesitate, he knew how much sins he had if not they would not call him 'Monster' but now the situation is different, he has Lory now, someone he wants to cherish for the rest of his life, with Lory gentle temperament being monster might not cut it anymore, he doesn't want to wait until Lory disgust with his behavior and leaving him someday, a slight chance should not be so hard isn't it?
"Then I need to lessen my sins from now on…" Zhao Li Xin's words fill with indulgence and determination as he kisses softly on her forehead.
Lory sighed is resigned and weary, she knew nothing she can't change the past, her wish came with consequences Arthea has warned her before 'Where's death there always gonna be death' she thought her death would settle everything, she thought it will end with her but she never thought it would start another sequence.
It was funny how she thought she got everything under control when the truth is she just another chess piece on the God chessboard, her Father said everyone has a role to play, she just can't figure it out yet what her role is, however she is sure she would know at the end.
Lory c.a.r.e.s.s his strong jawline the man skin as smooth as jade, he's so handsome almost look surreal how could someone can be so perfect, Lory thought God is so unfair, Lory stifles and smiles bloom in her face "let's make promised, in the future…no matter what happened, we will never say each other goodbye"
"I promise…" he took Lory's hand and kissed the back of her hand softly.
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Five days later they arrive at Yun Dao city, just like before they are welcomed by a tall grey stone gate where the officer check everyone identity before they could get in, people make a long line in front of the gate waiting for the inspection, some people came on foot while the other used carriage however when the officer saw the Wu family symbol on the carriage they immediately let them came first, they do not even ask for the permits whatsoever.
People step aside and bow their head courteously when the Wu family carriage enter the gate, Lory peeks from behind the curtain and deduced that the authority that Wu family have is not small. No wonder Hei Shen rope them to their side with the Wu family help they can watch the situation inside Yun Dao capital and the Wu family used Hei Shen power to get rid of their enemy in discreet, it does a mutually beneficial relationship.
"When the action is held?" Lory asked.
"Tomorrow afternoon" he replies calmly.
"Do you think Lao Min Na knew we are coming?"
"The news of Zi something castrated by Li Mo Zhen and me has spread at the entire city, Lao Min Na must be expected us to come" he stares at the window with a murderous intent flashed in his dark eyes.
"Don't be hasty, she has Lazarus as her backer even though its hard to say but we have to admit that we are not Lazarus matched…at least not now" Lory narrowed her eyes.
Zhao Li Xin fiddle the empty wine cup with his long fingers "I'm still going to kill her when I got the chance" he mutters.
"Yeah, I know you will…" she mutters as well.