Chapter 195 - Ch. 195 Declan's First Love Is...

Roxanne still masked and put a calm expression as she handed Louisa her clothes that were stored in the closet in Declan's room. Previously Declan had bought her a lot of clothes and kept them in their wardrobe so that she didn't have to carry a lot of stuff when Roxanne moved here.

It can be used as her weapon to prove that Roxanne did live in this house.

But as soon as Louisa disappeared into the bathroom to change clothes, Roxanne's brows furrowed like she was in pain. Her chest seemed to be twisted, making her have to grip one side of her chest.

'You weren't his first love, Miss Zouch. He met his first love there, and once his first love returns, I'm sure he will leave you.'

He knew who Declan's first love was. He knew the girl Louisa was referring to very well.

Declan had indeed been in a coma in Spain, and a girl played the piano for him.

'My sweet sister, you like two guys at the same time, but you haven't realized it.'

'Ha? What do you mean? Who do I like?'

'You think I don't know about that black moon guy?'

Roxanne remembered she used to tease Kaylee when her sister followed her to Spain. At that time, her sister often chattered about an unconscious man she didn't know, and she casually named the man black moon as if that guy was her pet.

Black Moon… isn't this name used by Declan as his stage name?

Why did Declan use this name? Because his first love gave him?

'He met his first love there.' Roxanne once again remembered what Louisa said, and she couldn't help but admit… Declan's first love was…

Kaylee. Not her.

And she knew… Kaylee would never come back here to get Declan because that girl was gone.

But… wasn't Kaylee dead because of her?

She didn't know the unconscious man was Declan, but she was curious about the man because he could make her sister forget her crush.

She sneaked into the room secretly to peek at the man, and as soon as Roxanne saw the black moon's true face, her heart broke, and she started avoiding her sister.

Kaylee loved their father's disciple but was engaged to her. When Kaylee learned to let go of her first love and interest in the new guy, Roxanne planned to kick her out of Declan's life.

Until one day… her sister offered to switch places to help her. Kaylee planned to be Roxanne and do good things by submitting to her father so that their father will allow Roxanne to study in Paris.

Her evil mind found an opening to get Kaylee home so she could replace the girl to accompany Declan. She will be by Declan's side until the man awake and willing to play the piano every day for him.

Who would have thought, because of her selfishness… she lost her only sister.

Just as she was about to go to the hospital to check on the man's condition, Roxanne heard of the plane crash. At that moment, her mind became deadlocked, and she couldn't think of anything.

Only one thought circulated on her head.

What have I done?

If she hadn't agreed to Kaylee's offer…

If only she had stayed with her sister on the plane…

If only she hadn't been selfish and wished her sister had disappeared from her sight…

There were so many ifs that made her chest feel even tighter.

What if Declan finds out that Kaylee is his first love? What if the man knew that she had caused Kaylee to leave this world?

Declan will hate her, won't he?

Roxanne was starting to find her breathing difficult to control, and at the moment, she wasn't sure if she could hold on or not.

Before Louisa finished changing clothes, Roxanne walked into Declan's room and locked herself there while calling her other alter.

Her chest was too tight for her to bear. Her head was spinning as she recalled the last conversation she had with Kaylee at the airport.

"Sister? Why don't you come in?"

"I'm sorry, but I changed my mind."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not going with you this time. So you're going to go home yourself and tell dad that I'm going to stay in Paris."

"But… the registered name is yours."

"Precisely. Your name." repeated Roxanne in a firm tone. She even smiled when she saw her sister's agitated expression.

"Sister..."

"Nu-uh. I am Kaylee, and you are my elder sister. Your appearance is perfect, just like me." Roxanne looked at her sister from head to toe with satisfaction.

Kaylee, who usually wears elegant and classy clothes, now wears shorts and a tank-top covered with a thin sweater.

"But… I can't do it alone."

"I know you can."

"Sister…"

"Sister Roxy, I'll count on you." interrupted Roxanne making her sister speechless.

She saw the dejected and disappointed expression on Kaylee's face, but she ignored it. She even felt like partying because she managed to get her sister out of this country. She would get the black moon guy, and this time she wouldn't let that man go.

Now… after almost ten years on, Roxanne felt her heart stabbed by a knife as she recalled her sister's last expression she had seen.

Tears had gathered at the corners of her eyes and threatened to come out, but Roxanne tried to hold them back.

She wished… if there was a miracle… she wished her sister was still alive. If her sister is still alive and still wants the black moon guy… she is willing… Roxanne is ready to let Declan go.

She just wanted her sister to come back to life and apologize to her face to face. But…

Why did she feel relieved and happy when she was sure her sister would never come back?

Was… her desire to see her sister back not sincere?

It turns out… she wasn't much different from her father or mother. 

Her heart filled with wicked ways makes her cringed at the thought.

Thinking she wasn't the perfect woman for a man as good as Declan, her tears flowed uncontrollably.

Her heart was crushed. She felt unworthy but unwilling to let go.

Will she receive karma? Will she be punished?

Could her suffering all these years be her punishment?

She was already feeling exhausted from being swallowed by the guilt and regret that would not be able to disappear from her life. Is there no way to get out of this suffering?

Roxanne blackened out in an instant before her other alter took over. As usual, Kaylee sorted out some of the memories that made her soul shattered and sealed all the memories that made her sad.

After that, Kaylee preferred to stay hidden in this room while waiting for Declan's arrival. She knew… she wouldn't be able to win if Louisa decided to attack her again.

It's better if she stays here for a while.

And yet... why did she still feel sad even though she blocked all displeasing memories?