(Author) 2 Years

Azrie

If you haven't read: (Special) New Beginnings: A Brighter Tomorrow

I highly suggest you do. I have to say, I couldn't stop laughing at the chess scene while writing it and re-reading it. Though that's because I am a degenerate. 

Alright, I know you all wanted this author note. Everyone wants it, I want it, your family wants it, even the dead want it! Truly irresistible.

Hello everyone, it's me your beloved author-chan! Well, just beloved author. Hehe. So, well, some of you that bother reading this might go like. Wait who is this? And stuff.

Alright, alright. I will stop joking entirely. I am not proud of what happened, I remember I would say cheesy stuff in my  novels about never dropping them, and things that other authors would do. Only to basically hit everyone with a 2 year hiatus without even saying anything. Just straight up ghosting. Disgusting! 

Well good news is, I am continuing the story, I no longer have mental problems nor retardation, I don't really care about what people say about it anymore which should make updates more consistent. At the same time I do feel like it was better for the story to go into a 2 year hiatus, let me explain: I was so fixated in giving Master Craftsman an overarching plot that I completely forgot what the story was about. 

This is due to stupidity as well as criticism the story received from certain people saying it's just dumb and there is no stakes! Well there isn't that's the fucking point of this story. But back then I didn't really see it that way, so it skewed me a bit. 

The story was meant to be a funny read and something to make one smile, not something else, not something more. And yet I completely forgot about this part and began writing edgy things, and it got even worse in the chapter backlog. So, it's probably right for the novel to have paused at such a time, since I can still "fix" it, and by fixing I mean. Returning it to what it was about, sure it's not easy to notice how it deviated, but it did.

Example: Aizen agreeing to a dumb contract from the king, in which I cannot even remember the details of. Though, contract was never made. Well one gets the point. 

So a few changes I will be making to the novel, as well as the chapter backlog. Here are some changes moving forward.

Chapters written after the 2 years, will receive a new title. "New Beginnings" 

Kuro (Yami), Protagonist: Will receive more braincells and less stupidity. Like, she will be less facepalm worthy, or so I hope.

Aizen (Dragon): Still Aizen, still a lovable tsundere dragon that likes destruction.

Ari (mystery sister): Her backstory will still be explored since it doesn't kill the mood of the novel. 

A few changes to how money will be handled, though it's not too relevant.

On the topic of leaving for 2 years. 

I have to admit it felt good. It truly did, I felt... free. But it was a weird twisted mindset I adapted after trying to meet everyone's expectations. Surely, I was a professional writer! I had to do things in a certain way! It had to be good! Such things always plagued my mind, and most of the time the sentiment I had towards my novels were nothing more than pure hatred if not something more twisted.

Though in retrospect my writing wasn't good... The novels were enjoyable, the writing though? Oof. 

No matter how much everyone tried to cheer me I was in denial. So after starting college and realizing that I actually didn't have that much time to write anymore I kind of realized. Since I suck at this, why not focus on a single thing? So I did.

I regret it. I've never not regretted it. And yet I didn't come back, I didn't have the face to. It felt... bad. Awful. In this two year gap I wrote a lot. Was it for the current posted stories, no. It was mostly scrapped stuff. 

It never left my mind, even though it was something I enjoyed. To come back felt... wrong. I couldn't just come back and begin writing as if nothing happened. Like I said, I didn't think my novels were good at all! And thus, I didn't come back, I simply tried to one up myself exploring a lot of topics for novels and stuff. Some were great some were good and some bad. But all of the novels never got too far since I wanted the perfect start.

As you've all guessed, nothing is perfect. I didn't know what I was doing a month ago, bored out of my mind, but for some reason I got this weird itch to read Gender Bender stories, yum! My favorite for years! Honestly it was like a guilty pleasure, they tend to be really bad. So I read quite a few, and a lot of them were lacking translation or dropped. Funny how that works.

In short I didn't want to come back because I didn't think my stories were 'good enough'.  But for some reason I thought, wow I should read my old stories! Somehow I got over the fact that I was literally afraid to click on this site (literally not a joke, and I did get a mini-heart attack seeing the amount of notifications I had), it just felt like facing the past I was ashamed of. I still am.

And so I began reading my first story, this story. Gotta start with the worst one! I did cringe a bit of course. Just slightly, a bit. But... Why was it like this? Surely... I don't remember it like this? 

It was an enjoyable read. Incredibly so. Perhaps it was cliche'd and hit every single one of them but... The character interactions felt... Magical. At this point I had completely forgotten what happened in the story so I got to experience the reader side of things and just wow. I truly was blown away. Of course, it was far from perfect but I would say compared to all the other stuff I read in the past 2 years. It was above average.

And so, I decided that I would seriously reread everything and try to continue the story. Leah, (my other novel), is in the middle of a rewrite and its looking good. 

Anyway, what am I trying to say? I would always wallow in my misery and mistakes. As a lot of you might've guessed if anyone read the author notes on my stories I had literal mental problems. Well mostly insecurities, and so I feel regretful for being so blind. The novels weren't bad, I was just delusional. It's not to say one shouldn't aim for greater heights, but not in the way I did it. It was an obsession. 

That's why when i quit I felt relief. Because I was forcing myself to try to be better and match everyone's expectations, even though I seriously doubt there were a lot of them in retrospect. It just boiled down to do better.

Well anyway, what I am trying to say is. I am sorry for leaving. And I am happy to be back, I no longer have a weak mental state. So, if you won't continue reading well, sucks but I understand! 

Back to the old ways I go. Whether it is Azrie or Alice, it hardly matters anymore. I just wish to remember and go back to dreamland. Same as back then, same as always. 

Thank you all for 400k, 500k and almost 600k. I do not remember what the view count was when I left, but it certainly wasn't so big. So thank you all. 

Here are some of the projects that kinda got further in the 2 years. 

Cover for cancelled rewrite of Master Craftsman 

Concept Art for Yami but in a different novel rewrite (Yes there were two rewrites).

Concept Art of Aqua, the main character of a LitRPG novel called BlackBlood: Dungeons. It never went past chapter 5 not a concept I'd enjoy in the long run. She kind of looks like a Vtuber though... Though she is an awesome character, she might be an MC in a different novel! Big might since uh, Leah is kind of main priority. 

And finally. Concept art for my smut novel that never came to be.

Huh, you actually thought I would write a smut novel?! Go to furaffinity or something, this is a sacred land. Begone!