Chapter 539: yan yan in deep thought

IT'S already the weekend.  Six days had passed since the prelims of Rookie Carnival.  In just those six days, a lot of things had happened.  Luo Yan felt like it's actually been a month because of those things.

First, there was that thing with Yu Jiao's stepsister.  He later learned from his older brother that he had already 'dealt' with this thing.  Although he wasn't sure what method Luo Ren used, seeing as how Mo Jian didn't bother Yu Jiao after that day, it must be quite effective. 

Then there was that Raphael situation.  Which he handled quite amazingly if he might say so.  The day hadn't even finished yet and he had already solved everything.  Sometimes, even he could be amazed by how smart he was.  If he was just a tad bit insidious who couldn't be contented by what he had, he would probably be quite the villain.

It's a good thing that despite his past life experience, he didn't turn out to be such a twisted person.  Although he wasn't really the kindest person out there, at least he had his own principle and bottom line.  He wouldn't hurt any innocent person and would only take revenge on those who hurt him or the people he was closed to. 

A majority of this could probably attributed to the director of the orphanage he grew up in.  Even though he pretended to be a sweet dumpling just so the director would like him, he still held genuine feelings of affection for the woman and thought of her as a close relative. 

But at that time, he had already built an impenetrable shield around his heart.  So, even if he wanted to, he couldn't really let go of his distrustful nature.  No matter how much he wanted to wholeheartedly treat the director as his second parent, there seemed to be a force stopping him.  And until his death, it remained that way.

After he found out that the other actually stayed with him during his last moments and even took back his ashes, giving him a proper burial at the province where the orphanage was located, he felt extremely complicated.  But most of it was guilt.  While he was being defensive, the director probably really treated him as a nominal son. 

Although he really wanted to go there and meet the director once again, he couldn't do so.  That province was quite far from S City.  Just what kind of excuse could he give his father that would not make him appear suspicious. 

But, in all honesty, even though he had that mind of wanting to meet the director again, his heart was probably still not ready for it.  That's why even though he could use the National holiday as an excuse to go to that province, he still didn't say anything.  Maybe because in his subconscious mind, he was still not ready to go back to the place he spent most of his childhood and adolescent years. 

It's not because he had a lot of bad memory there.  In fact, when he finally realized how he could live a much better life, he practically didn't experience that much hardship.  It's just that, the place was like a reminder of the parents that he had lost at such an early age.  It was like a symbol.  That the reason that he was there was because he was already an orphan and nobody wanted him. 

He should be over it by now.  After all, he now had such a good family.  With the love his family had been constantly showering him since the day he opened his eyes in this new life, the defenses he had built in his last life all but crumbled.  But there was probably still a part of him, that small child inside his heart, that was still greatly affected by the death of his parents.

Luo Yan took a deep breath.  Because he still didn't have the guts to go there, he could only secretly donate some money.  The money came from the income he got from Yuexing Pavilion.  And the amount was not that small.  The money was directly transferred to his own bank account that his father still put money through every month.

He didn't have that much expense because everything was provided for him.  So, the money in his account was basically untouched.  With the addition of his income from Yuexing Pavilion, even if he donated hundreds of thousands to the orphanage, it was almost negligible.

But still, to avoid suspicion, he donated to a number of orphanages, just not the one he grew up in.  So, just in case, his father asked him about it one day, he could simply say that he watched some documentary and took pity in those orphans. 

This could also be considered as some kind of preparation.  Because on his 18th birthday, he was already planning on celebrating it in the orphanage he grew up in.  He felt like by that time, his heart would be ready enough. 

With him donating money to these orphanages, he could simply say to his father and brothers that on the day he would become an adult, he wanted to share his blessings.  Picking an orphanage to do that would definitely not stir any suspicion on his part. 

It just so happened that he and 'Luo Yan' shared the same birth date.  He didn't think of it as some kind of coincidence.  He guessed that it was probably one of the reasons why his soul could enter this body perfectly. 

His guess was when he died and his soul kept wandering aimlessly, it happened to pass by the hospital where the body of 'Luo Yan' was.  Since the body no longer had a soul in it, his soul was simply sucked inside.  And because the two had a great fit, his soul simply stayed inside until it completely became one with the body. 

Of course, that was only his conjecture.  But he still wanted to believe that that was the case.  He'd rather believe that than think that he occupied this body by kicking away the real 'Luo Yan'.

Just thinking of that made him feel a bit depressed. 

[Mashter, Captain's here!]

Eclipse call pulled back Luo Yan from his thoughts.  He raised his head and saw Shen Ji Yun.  A smile automatically appeared on his lips.  Even the depressing thoughts lingering in his mind somehow vanished. 

"Brother Ji Yun!"