Chapter 119 - Golden-Finger?

"-andora?"

"PANNI!" My father clapped in front of my face, snapping me out of my stooper while also forcing me to swallow all my anxiousness and fear, simultaneously turning my eyes back to their golden color.

With a warm smile, I turned to my father and asked a question, which the answer to I would not care for.

"I'm good, how are you?"

My father had a little bit of a frown on his face as he looked me in the eyes. One second I looked agitated and stressed, the next I was fine? What kind of reaction is that? Did his daughter have mood swings? Did she need to go to a therapist? She had killed her first person at the age of 6, so it is plausible, right?

That was his train of thought anyway, and it was far from right. I was not afraid of killing, but I was afraid of the opposite. The fear of death, a fear that plagued all sentient creatures from the day they are brought onto this world. A fear that did not exist in me until today. Today, where I felt like if I were to go, I would have something to lose.

[Note!]

[You are unable to cultivate your mana heart until you hit your adolesence]

'Is that supposed to make me feel better? Because I feel even more sh*tty than I did before.' I chuckled self-deprecatingly

"What are you laughing at?" Asked my father with a trace of worry distorting his voice.

"Ah... Nothing. Don't worry about it" I replied with a wave of my hand, THat was was when I saw movement from the side was as I saw both Olivia and Jack wake up.

"So you guys are finally awake? J-Jack too, You barely drank anything yet you were knocked out for way longer than me." My father chuckled.

'What happened?' Asked Olivia, feeling as if there was a small gap in her memory between when I threw my father into the carriage and to now.

'Don't worry. I just got an angel to wipe out your memories of what happened. You guys might have had an identity crisis, especially Jack over there. If he kept his memory, I give him a 30% chance of getting out of the crisis without permanent damage.' I replied nonchalantly.

Hearing the word angel, Olivia quickly turned her head towards me, looking me in the eye with doubt before asking 'What happened?'

'It is much safer if you didn't know. I'm not sure how the information would affect you, but to people like my father who have wholly believed in the church and empire's words, the outcome of knowing what happened would cause them to feel like their whole world is a lie at best.'

'Don't worry, I am powerful. I have a strong mind and I have already gone through a lot of things in the past. I can take a little Divine knowledge.' She laughed in pride through the mind link.

Closing the mind link, I couldn't help but think 'If only you knew...'. It was true that if she were to find out what happened today, she would probably freak out a little. A bit of the astral plane knowledge was heard by them. Another reason would be the power each of the angels had. They had engraved into the society that angels were weaker than the strongest humans, and would simply be regarded as messengers for the 6 primordial gods of elements.

What they and I didn't know to this point was that these "Primordial gods" of elements weren't gods, but rather angels. I had learned this information the moment I saw the black cat, and that information was terrifying to even me. The power gap is simply too big, and by putting all this information together, I can at least tell that these angels of elements are at least at the mid-stages of the astral plane, if that even meant anything.

To the humans who had witnessed the whole thing take place, they would first question the legitimacy of the claim that angels were just as strong as the strongest humans, then the legitimacy of the church, just to finally lose faith in the empire, church, and religion. For people as devoted as my father and Jack to the empire and religion, they would feel as if the world they saw before was crumbling beneath them. An example of this is jack losing it while trying to interrogate me about what happened.

Suddenly, my trail of thought was disturbed by the calling of my name. I quickly looked left, just to see Jack staring at me with a doubting expression. My eyes were cold as I looked at him, not filled with a hint of emotion even though I was slightly agitated by the constant calling of my name.

"Do you remember what happened after you threw your father into the carriage?" He asked with knitted brows.

"Yeah, we hopped on and you passed out. Olivia was slightly tired too, so she went to sleep right after. Why?" I asked back, not changing my tone for a single second.

"Because I distinctly remember the time being 4:37 before we got on, and now it's almost 6 O'clock and we have barely moved from the place we were. Wait, let me ask-" Jack halted his speech before looking back towards the window between the carriage and the driver seat and asked with an agitated scared tone "Why did we not move for an hour?"

The driver took a glance into his mirror, looking into my eyes that threatened to kill him the moment he said something out of place.

"Well, I was slightly worried when you passed out sir, so we had a cleric check on you for any signs of poisoning or curses that might have been put on you. Miss Raven seemed sure that you were fine and 'just drunk' however, I still asked for an inspection to be done. It seemed that I had overreacted but its better safe than sorry, right?" The driver chuckled

'I gotta learn how to lie like this man. I wonder if he lied to me before... Oh wait, I can see his soul flame. Unless he finds a way to control the movements of his soul flame, it is literally impossible to lie to me and get away with it.'

However, Jack narrowed his eyes and looked away without saying anything. A few seconds later, he sighed and started to look outside the window, a bit like what I would do for all my journies. However, while he glanced out of the window, a single thought constantly went through his mind, and it was 'What is she hiding?'

For the rest of the journey, while Jack and my father hit it off like old-time buddies, Olivia thought that my shoulder was the most comfortable place to nap, causing her to shift towards it in her sleep before she eventually slept on it. for the rest of the journey. Eventually, we reached a motel in the middle of a small village. We decided to stay the night because, why the f*ck not?

I spent the entire night trying to 'cultivate' even though I did not know where to start. When I had seen Aria's mana network, it looked like everything knew exactly where to flow, while her divine energy moved like rivers throughout her entire amazing luscious- I mean, her entire body.

Trying to replicate what I saw was much easier said than done, as I had to find out the hard way that, if I want any of the mana to flow through my body without harming myself, I had to move them each separately. It meant I had to split my mind into several different decisions at the same time.

'yo, divine eyes? Analysis? Heavens? Whatever you are called. Do you know how I can split my mind into doing different activities at the same time? I can only go to about 5 different things when using mind-influx' I asked the string of messages that usually appear in my vision.

[Analysing...]

[Analysis complete!]

[1. Divine technique -Mind Split- cannot be imparted to you, as our mind is too weak]

[2. Divine eyes suggest that you do not try using divine energy as there is an 86.49% chance that your body will be damaged at every use]

[3. Divine eyes suggest that you learn the divine language. The divine language has already been imparted to you, however, it is currently sealed. To unlock, you must increase your mental strength. The divine language can then be used to chant spells that will move your divine energy out on its own.]

[4. You do not need to split your mind to circulate divine energy, but you must find a form or technique to do so. Divine eyes suggest that you create your technique. This will make sure you will not reach a bottleneck in the future that cannot be fixed with little adjustments to the technique.]

[5. Divine eyes suggest that you work on your aura control until the Σ̸͚̪̭̭͆φ̵̻̖͍̝͋ρ̶̲̚α̵̼̼̞͐͝γ̷̢̱̥̈́͂͝ί̷̛̰̳͑̕̕δ̵͎̈α̷̻̫͍̈̆ ̴̣̥̀χ̷̜̘̰̇́͝ά̵̜͙̖̾̈̚͜͝ο̷̞̥̭͂̏̐͝υ̶̧̤͑̋ς̷͉͔̦̂̎ is lifted]

'How the hell am I supposed to do that without a manual?' I scoffed at the 5th point

[Divine eyes suggests you create your method]

"ugh" huffing in annoyance, I stayed quiet for the rest of the night and used my breathing technique.

I would constantly breathe in the elemental particles, keep them in for a while before huffing them out. It was a bit like smoking, minus the euphoria.

At sun break, an idea finally struck me.

As if a lightbulb had started to light above my head, I started to think 'What if I eat beast meat? It would be a lot more nutritious in both mana and elemental energies. I just need to kind of balance out the elemental energies I absorb though as it might create a problem in the future

After digesting the thought and thinking of all the outcomes, I shot up from my meditating posture and turned towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Olivia muttered drowsily. After hearing my voice and realizing it was one of a man when used our mind link, she had made sure to keep her clothes on at all times around me and to cover as much as possible. I could tell she felt more comfortable around my father, a married and honest man, rather than around me even though we had a contract in place to show that I would do nothing, nor ask for anything sexual of her.

Right now, she was wearing her outdoor jack while covering herself with the blanket, but in the middle of the night, she had thrown all her clothes except the bandages around her breasts as well as he panties.

Seeing me staring at her in a daze she raised a brow and asked "What are you looking at?".

Suddenly, the cold breezes of the wind coming through the window had become all too apparent to her half-naked body. As I watched her eyes widen in realization and her cheeks become red in embarrassment, I could not help but chuckle at her dismay.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT YOU PERVERT!" She shouted with an embarrassed flushed face, almost waking everyone in the motel up. Simultaneously, she grabbed the blanket and covered her body it, not like itmattered since I could see right through.

I still didn't know why, but whenever I used my divine eyes on the angel or the cat, I would either see right through them or not through them at all. For humans however without a single sign of divine mana, I could easily see through their clothes, skin, muscles and bones to varying degrees depending on how much I wanted to see. I would use it on Olivia every now and then, or maybe on a woman that I found attractive while walking the streets of my town. With enough concentration, I could even see through illusions and makeup.

"You do know I can see you naked at any time right? I just choose not to" I lied through my teeth while also chuckling. She on the other hand started to recall every time I had looked at her, just to realise I would usually not look straight at her, or I would look to the side. Whenever I did look at her though, I would look her straight in the eyes without a glint of lust within my eyes.

"Really?"

"Yeah" I lied again. Of course I looked straight at her. What kind of man wouldn't take advantage of such an ability? I am literally sleeping in the same room as a beauty of her standard! The fact I was looking away was actually just a ploy of mine to get more of her trust, and it really seemed to have worked. At first however, it was simply to stop my self from activating the ability and also resist the temptation to eye her from top to bottom

'I should try masturbation... It would probably help with the whole horny thing.'

"oh, uhm, thanks then" Olivia muttered nervously. From the day we met, we kind of hit it off. While she might have been solemn and distant due to the death of all her friends, I could tell she was a good person from the time I had talked to her. Maybe if I was reborn a man in this world, then maybe I would have had a chance with her. But no... The heavens had to put me in the body of a female who only feels pleasure from consuming souls and humiliating others...

"Hey... By the way, do you happen to have any-*cough* techniques that you know?" I rubbed my neck before glancing to the side with blush on my face.

"???" Olivia was clueless

"You know... Techniques? How a girl does it?"

"Does what?" She was now even more clueless.

"Masturbation..."

"Oh..." Being slapped with a brick of honesty, she went stiff while her eyes hollowed at. seemingly trying to understand what I was saying.

"OH! OH GOD YOU ARE A PERVERT!" She finally understood

"OH COME ON! I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU FOR 3 DAYS! OF COURSE I WILL FEEL A BIT OF SEXUAL FRUSTRUATION!"

"Why ask me? We aren't that close yet! Plus-" 'You have the voice of a man. It does not make your case any better' She switched to the mindlink.

"SEE! You understand me already! Why don't we share secrets? You give ma technique and I'll give you a technique!" I tried to bargain

"WHY WOULD I NEED YOUR FILTHY TECHNIQUES!?" She shouted back

"I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL TECHNIQUES DUMBASS!" I snapped back

"You aren't?" She rose a brow and narrowed her eyes.

The scene caused me to face palm, causing me to lose interest and mutter loud enough that she could hear me "Forget this. I'm going down to the bar. We can talk about this matter later."

Before she could reply, I was already next to the door and had opened it widely just to step onto the coridoor.

'Masturbation might be a temporary form of sustinance to my anxiety and craving for souls, but if I don't start now, I might not be able to control myself, therefore doing something that I might regret.'

My cheery nature was no more. The annoyed mood that I had gotten out of the room with was a facade. Right now I was anxious, blood thirsty and scared, meaning I am literally not in the mood for anything right now other than drinking.. Yes, I might not be bale to get drunk, but the taste alone might lighten the heaviness of my shoulders, and the clench of anciety and fear of death around my chest and heart.