Chapter 201

Chapter 201

Amethyst arrived at Mir city to her new home: Hazen castle, Alexcent’s summer cottage. Hazen castle, which stood on a high cliff overlooking a beach, had the most magnificent view of the town and the ocean crashing against the rocks below.

Amethyst slept for a few days and cried like a mad person for another few. Then the cycle would repeat all over again. The few days she could bring herself to get out of bed, she spent walking on the beach. She tried what she could to put Alexcent out of her mind, but whenever she closed her eyes, he was there. Sometimes she would see him from the corner of her vision. He appeared in the faces of every person she met. In the night, she envisioned the shadows to be him, holding her close. She just couldn’t let go.

The sand between her toes were hundreds of grains of regret. No matter how much she tried to brush it off, some remained. Looking out at the peaceful, calm horizon she cursed her heart for not being the same. She begged the god to stop this pain, but knew no one was listening.

“Lady, if it’s not too rude, could I speak with you for a moment?”

Amethyst looked up with her empty eyes to the sound of the unfamiliar voice. A well-groomed man stood beside her on the beach.

“I noticed your beauty as you walked along the beach. I was wondering if I could interest you in dinner tonight?” The man gave her a false smile.

Lies, Amethyst thought. I don’t look beautiful. I look like a crazy person. She shook her head and without saying a word, walked away from the man.

The stranger lost his smile, becoming upset for being ignored, and grasped Amethyst’s arm to stop her from leaving.

Amethyst became enraged and withdrew the small pistol she carried with her, aiming it at the man’s face. “Don’t touch me! No one can touch me, not unless its him!”

“Lady, calm down….!” The man raised his hands and stepped back from her sudden anger.

She could see the shock on his face, but all she could think was that this man saw her as a wealthy woman of rank that he could prey upon. And his attempts to charm her almost got him killed. This man could see her as she currently was: crazy. Amethyst lowered the gun and returned to Hazen castle as the man ran for his life the other way.

As she entered the hall, a servant spotted the pistol in her hand. “Ma’am! Why do you have that?”

“This?” Amethyst asked, only realizing now that she still held the gun. “Some crazy bastard was trying to take advantage of me.”

“There are many tourists in this city and some of them are not on their best behaviour. Also, there will be a festival soon so it’s just going to get more crowded. Next time, ask one of us to accompany you.”

“Next time? Will there be next time?” Amethyst had drifted into her own thoughts again.

“Pardon?” The servant seemed confused about what she was referring too.

“Never mind. I would like to wash up so can you please prepare a bath, and then I’ll be ready for dinner.”

“Yes, ma’am.” The servant left to arrange for hot water.

After meeting the random stranger, it became clearer. There was only one person she would ever let touch her again. She knew that if she went back, it would only make thing worse than before. But she needed to go back.

Amethyst went to her chambers and disrobed. Standing in front of the mirror naked, she looked at her reflection. No matter how much she tried to envision her former self, she was no longer Heeyeon. So why was she being so cruel to herself? She just couldn’t let anything go.

She lowered herself into the hot bath water that had been brought up from the kitchen. The scent of flowers wafted up from the oils that had been added to the water that surrounded her. She leaned her head back against the side of the tub and dreamed of her old world. Only it wasn’t a dream, it was a nightmare. The same daily life, same patterns, a relationship that never got better. Everything there suffocated her. And at the end of the dream, Alex was always there, with his red eyes, offering his hand and smiling kindly. No matter how many times she had this dream, it always ended with Alex.

The thought was always there, at the back of her mind. If she went back and confessed everything, would he accept her? Would he accept that she was actually thirty-six years old, a mother and from another world? She had a lover in that world and if that lover showed up, she would disappear. Could he accept that? She wanted so desperately to ask Alex if he could still love her, despite all of that. But that would be the most selfish thing of all.

She didn’t want him to be in danger because of her anymore. There were a billion reasons not to go back to her old world, but there were also so many reasons not to go back to Alexcent. The thoughts were making her dizzy. Or perhaps it was just the heat from the bath.

She stood up from the tub, sloshing water across the floor. Without drying herself, she wrapped her body with a soft robe and returned to the bedroom. Crossing the chamber, she opened the doors to the balcony and stepped out.