9 An Ocean Part I

My heart pounded and my body felt heavy, the miles I covered showing in my long drawn out breathes.

I entered my house, my hands bawled into fists as I put one foot in front of the other.

Anger filled me as I witnessed the scene before me.

Fey sat quietly on the couch, her eyes blank as she played on her Nintendo Switch.

"Hey!"

I yelled through gritted teeth. Her eyes did not even flinch, her entire attention to what she was playing.

"Fey answer me damnit!"

Fey blinked and looked at me, "Get out of my home before I call the authorities."

What?

What?!

I almost growled as I advanced toward her, "What the hell does that mean, where ar-"

"Get out of my home before I call the authorities."

She narrowed her eyes at me, "We don't allow strangers in our house."

I stopped, goosebumps running down my spine as she cut through me, her words ripping apart my soul.

"I don't give a damn, answer me."

Fey set her switch down, "So what, I can tell you were they went, so you can go be the hero and get them back? They won't listen to you, they only listen to family."

She was not pulling any punches, my eyes wincing as she spoke.

"Fey listen to me for fuck's sake! I don't care if you wont accept me but your sisters could be in trouble, what if they get hurt?!"

Fey giggled, "And, I tried to protect them, if they want to crash and burn, so be it. They can rot in hell for all I care."

I grabbed her shoulder, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Fey threw a punch, the weak attempt hitting me in the stomach, "What the hell is wrong with you Warren?! This all your fault, why can't you disappear? We might not have been perfect but before you, we were at least holding on! I..."

Fey's eyes welled up with tears, "Why don't they listen to me. They say I'm controlling but all I have ever done is make them feel free. Do you know how hard it was to convince mother to buy this house just for Olivia. She loves stargazing and nature, if we lived anywhere else she wouldn't be able too. Why! Why don't they accept my flaws?!"

She threw another punch, the same weak impact hitting my cheek.

"I don't know what to do Warren..."

How in the world do I respond to that, how can I physically face her and give a logical answer?

I never had family before, I never had to fell this pain, I never had real sisters.

Fey looked at me, tears pouring down her face, "It will never work, we will never be able to smile. I hurt them, all of them, and for what? To make them understand mistakes that no one knew what to do with. I'm worthless..."

My mind wavered, the voice of my mother humming as she stood over a chopping board tickled my ear.

"All the other kids are good at sports, I'm always picked last too, I feel worthless."

My mother turned toward me, the sternest look on her face, "Don't use that word."

I looked up at her, "Why?"

My Mother's blue eyes searched me, "Because everything has worth in this world. The only reason that word exist is because not everyone is strong enough to find their worth."

I watched my mother slowly dice carrots

"Then what worth do I have?"

My mother stopped, "I wish I could tell you but, that's the fun part."

She winked at me, my eyes noticing how her hands shook ever so slightly.

I closed my eyes, the after thought of her dying the next day bringing me back to reality.

"You are worthless."

Fey looked up at me, her face stunned from my words.

I looked her dead in the eyes, the fear I had of her completely gone.

"All my life I wanted family and finally, after almost experiencing something that was ripped away from me long ago, you had to go and screw it up. You, Fey Darin Reina, have fucked up everything I ever wanted from these last few days."

Fey fell back on the couch, her entire body rigid from my words.

"But that's what makes you human Fey."

I smiled a real smile, not the fake ones I have to muster when in the face of discomfort, a smile which had all the dismay I witnessed yesterday behind it.

"You are worthless Fey, and you will always be that way until you decide other wise. I'm tired of chasing a life you don't want me to have. You can sit her and do nothing, I won't judge you. but listen closely,"

I backed away, releasing my grip on her shoulder.

"I'm going to go get my sisters back."

I left with the door slamming shut, the rain that was just a drizzle now slowly coming down harder.

What was I doing?

What did I say and why did I say it?

I had no right to chase people I barley met and I had no right to chase after those who crumbled because of me.

But.

As their new step-brother and as the one who was tasked with protecting them, I have to chase.

Until my feet break and my heart gives out.

The rain didn't care that my lungs started to spurt and my body slowly weakened, it came down harder and harder. I stopped, my body shivering from the cold. I looked at the stones steps that were laid at before me, an almost river of water barreling down it.

I sucked in my pain and trudged up each step.

I had asthma and I knew I was not going to last long, I needed to hurry and find them. It wasn't quite night yet and my smartphone only had twenty percent battery. It was water proof luckily, the small ding as missed calls from my dad built up.

"You sure were a bitch to find." I managed to say.

Arid sat under the shrine, her head in her arms and her knees pushing against her body. I was glad not to see her soaked.

She looked up at me, the cheerful blue eyes I once knew completely absent.

"Why the hell are you here?!"

Her eyes widened as I planted my foot on the first wooden step of the shrine.

"I just wanted to pray you know," I winked at her as I plopped down on the second step, Arid only a few feet away. It felt nice to not have the rain pelting me.

"No Warren for real what the he-"

I held a hand up, "Just please."

Arid closed her mouth, her gaze looking into the dead forest. There was silence, the air murky and cold. I leaned back and caught my breath.

"Do you believe in God?" I asked, my body slightly relaxing.

Arid didn't answer immediately, her mind still elsewhere. She was in her school uniform, meaning she must have wanted to go.

"No, I don't."

I watched her closely, "Why?"

She buried her head in her arms again, "Because of what happened to papa."

Papa?

I held my tongue, there was no way I could ask.

Arid spoke again, "You can ask, I never mind when people do, it is part of my life."

I sighed, "What happened."

"He was at one point a very successful lawyer and to the point he was called up to eventually become a Supreme Court Justice, it was amazing watching him work, he found so much joy in it."

I smiled, hiding it away from Arid. The way she spoke of him made him seem like he was something else, something great.

"Then after he was pitted against a man who supposedly killed his four daughters, he proved that man to be guilty."

I closed my eyes, my smile slowly fading, "After a few days past, he was beat to death outside his favorite restaurant, the man who was guilty's brother having done so."

The rain poured and thunder roared in the sky.

"It is so weird, a man who did everything in his power to set things straight, just killed like that, out of no where."

She stopped talking, my mind circling from her words.

My lips moved on their own.

"My mother died too. She apparently had a fever that she hid from my father, going about life as if it were nothing. Saying she was okay and that when she went to the doctor, they said it would eventually go away."

I looked up at the shrine, "She had ovarian cancer and never told us, she knew my father would not have the means to pay for it and she also knew I needed the money for my daily treatments growing up."

Arid wiped a tear from her face, "I'm sorry to hear that..."

I shrugged, "The bad stuff has to happen to someone ya know, it's never just luck in this world."

Arid looked at me and I matched her gaze, "Please come back Arid."

Arid suddenly ripped her attention away from me and bit her lip, "I can't..."

I got up, "Yes you can damnit!"

She winced from my tone.

"I know I have no right to butt in but for the love of god, wake up Arid. All of you need to."

Arid stood up and dropped her head, "Dont act like you know us!"

She kept her head down, "You know nothing about us."

"Arid Jade Reina, you love rock music, five finger death punch to be exact, your favorite color is white, you read science books in secret but you hide it from everyone, you love video games, and you love Olivia's cooking even more."

She froze.

"How?"

I smirked, "Because I notice things no one else does. I spent a while trying my best to understand you guys, yeah I may not make it obvious I learn such things but deep deep down I have been doing everything I can to help."

It was true, I have subtlety picked up hints no one has noticed. The way Arid always had white nails, or the music they played, or even the science books she had poking out of her bag. I took note, not mentally but emotionally. I gave everything I had in secret, just to know them, to make this work.

"Let me in Arid, let me prove to you that you don't have to fake anything. I get you are the oldest of your sisters but you don't have to act like it."

Arid still stood frozen.

"I remember the very first time I met Fey, when she was stealing pudding, when I mentioned you she almost started crying, like you were something so special to her. She only showed it for a few seconds but I got the memo. It always seems like they revolve around you ya know."

Arid grabbed her chest, "Stop."

She looked up at me, her eyes filled with tears, "I'll come back so no more."

After she finally calmed down she leaned against my shoulder as we sat.

"I know where Autumn is, she is at Grand Dobi."

What, why was she there, the alert said all four of them were absent?

"Why is she there?!"

Arid watched the rain drip down off the shrine.

"I have no idea, she just told me and left."

I sighed and touched my soaking wet uniform.

"Round three I guess..."

I gently pushed Arid off my shoulder, "Where are you going Warren, head back before you get sick."

I stretched my arms, "Nah, I still have a few more people I have to bring back before I step foot in that house."

Arid watched as I hopped off the steps.

"Wait!"

I turned to her.

"Let me go with you."

I turned back around, "Sorry I can't have you slowing me down."

She puffed her cheeks out, "So rude, no wonder you are a virgin."

I glared at her, "Hey asshole what if I'm not one, eh?"

Arid deflated, "Well I'm still one so I wouldn't know."

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA CALL ME ONE WHEN YOU ARE-" I stopped, we both looked at each other.

"Hahahahahahaha, be safe Warren."

I saluted her and made my way to the beginning of the stone steps.

The summit.

I readied myself for whatever may come.