Chapter 76 - Just Another Memory

(This chapter contains mild violence)

*THUNK*

I sat up rubbing my forehead. I pulled my hand away and noticed it had some blood on it.

I remember this memory.

I heard devilish laughter behind me, "I can't believe she tripped and fell! What an idiot."

I glared at the girl out of the corner of my eye. A group of teenagers gawked at me while laughing to each other.

I snarled at them, "You bastards purposely tripped me."

She giggled, "Oh? We did? Do you have any proof?"

I glared at them. Normally I would have attacked them by now, but I had just been punished for fighting yesterday. So today I will just ignore them. My body can't handle another punishment right now.

I ignored the blood slowly making its way down my forehead. I didn't really care about that. I cared more for the trash that covered my body. I slowly began to pluck it off in disgust.

The group broke into another burst of laughter. A boy spoke this time, "I can't tell which is which! Which one's Leia and which one's the garbage!"

I bit down on my lip forcefully. Just ignore them.

"What's going on over here?"

I turned to stare at the nun who was walking over. A girl spoke, "Sister Abbey. Leia tripped and fell. All of the garbage is strewn around because of her clumsiness."

I shouted in protest, "No! You tripped me and I fell on the trash! It wasn't my fault!"

I heard Sister Abbey click her tongue. My mouth closed quickly. I kept my eyes on the ground too afraid to look her in the eyes.

Sister Abbey waved the children off, "Go do your chores. May God send blessings upon you."

They bowed and spoke simultaneously, "Blessings with you Sister."

They walked away and the Sister Abbey looked down at me, "You idiot child. Can't you do anything right? Clean up this trash right now. There will be no dinner for you tonight.... Are you ignoring me?"

I mumbled, "No, Sister Abbey."

"Good."

I started cleaning up the trash that was strewn around. I heard the nun click her tongue.

"Once trash, always trash."

My hand paused. I watched her shake her head in shame at me. I growled, "I'm not trash."

She scowled, "Did you just talk back to me?"

I was about to defend myself some more, but quickly shut my mouth. I couldn't handle another paddle from her. I was still covered in bruises and cuts. She had smacked my hands so hard, my knuckles had been bloodied. Any more beatings and they may break.

I tried to hide the hatred in my voice, "No Sister Abbey."

She snorted, "Good. Because you should know you're trash. You lived with that trash mother of yours for 14 years. It's only obvious that you would become trash too."

She chuckled at herself and turned away. I watched her walk away with tightened fists.

How I wish I could hit her. But I feared how she would retaliate.

I sighed and picked up the trash. I started walking down hill with it. I put it at the end of the road and wiped my sweaty forehead, smearing blood in the process.

I looked up at the starry sky. It looked so calm compared to the turmoil happening down on the ground.

It had been two years since I came to the orphanage. At first, I thought that if I was kind and kept my head down, then I would make friends.

However, my peers had a totally different plan.

They weren't interested in being friendly. They only wanted to watch me suffer.

I never even had a chance.

The children at the orphanage grew up there. It was rare to see someone come here as an older child. Although it still happened, it wasn't usual.

That's why I stuck out so much. In this world, you don't want to stick out. You become a target.

And since I was a teenager when I arrived at the orphanage, I became the new target. I endured hateful words, physical attacks, and painful humiliation.

At first, I could only cry and do nothing. But eventually my tears dried up. Instead of sorrow, I now felt hate. I started fighting back.

One could say, "Good for you! You retaliated against your bullies!"

But it would just be useless words. It didn't matter how much I fought back. In the end, only I would be punished for it.

The nuns ran the orphanage here. For some reason, they hated me the day I arrived. I was just another useless mouth to feed. To them, it seemed like everything was my fault.

I sighed, "I suppose I should head back now before I get into trouble."

I walked back to the orphanage. While everyone ate, I soaked in the bath making sure to rid myself of all the trash on my body.

I walked to my bed and laid down. As I stared at the ceiling with dull eyes, I kept trying to cheer myself up.

One day I will be rich. Then these hard days will feel like a distant memory. I will make sure to have the best of things so no one can make fun of me again.

One day I will be rich...

One day...

But these words I've repeated throughout childhood felt empty now. My hope for the future was slowly being diminished. I closed my eyes and begged for it to be just a dream.

However, I still woke up the next morning in the same creaky bed. I shuffled down to breakfast and grabbed a bowl of food. I looked down at it with a sour face.

Great. Sticky tasteless oatmeal again today.

I walked over to a table when someone bumped into me. They knocked the bowl in my hand purposely onto me. It landed on my face and chest covering me in the sticky syrup.

The girl giggled, "Oops."

I clenched my teeth, "UGH!"

Rage coursed through my veins. I grabbed her annoying laughing face and slammed it into the brick wall. Her nose collided with it making a sharp cracking noise.

She let out a shrill shriek and held her bleeding nose. I went to strike her once more but felt several hands on me. I was pushed to the ground and felt my body be kicked ruthlessly.

I tried to stand up, but felt someone strong stomp down on my back. I heard something crack as a foot crashed into my ribcage.

I could no longer move. Everything hurt. If I opened my eyes, my sight would turn dark. All I could do was hold my head as I listened to their angry shouts and cheers.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

The endless assault of kicks stopped, but I wasn't relieved in the slightest. It only meant that the worse was yet to come.

Sister Abbey shouted, "What is happening over here?"

The girl I had smacked into the wall was crying and burying her face in her friend. The friend spoke, "Sister Abbey! Leia just attacked her out of nowhere!"

I growled, "I did not! She knocked my food onto me on purpose! I'm still covered in it!"

Sister Abbey looked down at me with hate in her eyes, "It seems like you need to be punished again."

I scowled at her. It's not like I expected her to come to my aide.

She grabbed me by my hair and started dragging me away. I shouted and screamed but she was far stronger than me. After all, I was always forced to skip meals. But she never skipped a single one.

She tossed me into a chair. My breath caught in my throat at the sharp pain from my side. I went to touch it, but my hand was snatched up and placed on the table forcefully.

Sister Abbey stared down at me with an angry cruel expression. She held the large wooden paddle in her other hand.

"You are a sinful child."

In a swift moment she slammed it down on the back of my hand. I clenched my teeth harder to avoid shouting in pain.

I growled, "Go to hell."

She chuckled, "I'm a child of God. You're the one going to hell."

I smirked, "I'd rather go to hell than spend another moment with you."

She slammed down the paddle again and I yelped out in pain. She grinned, "You trash. God will make sure to give you a horrible future because of that viperous tongue of yours."

I shouted in defiance, "No! I'm going to be rich and bring you to your knees!"

She smacked me harder, "Avarice is sin!"

I shouted louder, "You're going to regret messing with me!!!"

She tossed her head and laughed, "Me? Don't make me laugh. You'll just become an addict just like your mother."

She smacked my hand some more until I could see white protruding from the wounds. Unable to take the pain any longer, I launched myself forward and sunk my teeth into her forearm.

She screamed and hit my head with the paddle. My sight grew dark and I tried to blink rapidly to dispel it.

She grabbed a fistful of my hair and snarled, "Looks like you'll need to be taught a lesson. The devil is too strong inside you. You need a stronger punishment."

She led me down the hall and tossed me into the room. I blinked and looked around in confusion, my vision still hazy from the hit.

All I saw was a blanket on straw and a bucket. The room was nothing more than a closet. There was no window. Only darkness.

I heard a click behind me and turned around in panic. She had locked me in.

I banged on the door, "LET ME OUT!"

But only her dark chuckle answered me. "You'll stay in here for a while. Let's see how long you'll last without food and water."

My heart sunk. She really did intend to kill me this time. I banged on the door for several hours. Or what I thought was hours.

I laid on the bed in exhaustion.

I couldn't tell what time it was. Or even what time of day it was. All there was, was darkness.

The days began to blur together.

I clutched my head shaking on the cold stoney ground. I was so hungry. So thirsty.

What day was it?

I had no idea.

I was still covered in sticky oatmeal.

Ugh. I hate being sticky.

I feel so uncomfortable.

My mind started playing tricks on me the longer I was in that dark cold room.

The nun crouched out of the shadow smiling sinisterly. She was no righteous nun. She was a demon.

Her dark cackling laugh echoed in my ear.

They were all demons.

Their faces surrounded me laughing and jeering. Their eyes were gone leaving behind only darkness.

I squeezed my eyes shut and covered my ears.

Her crackling voice rang in my ear, "Once trash. Always trash."

I felt something snap inside me.

That's right. I am trash.

I'm nothing more than trash.

I can't escape it.

I am my mother after all.

A slow creeping smile crossed my face.

That's right, I am my mother. And what would my heartless mother do? She would manipulate others to do what she wanted. She could convince anyone if she wanted to.

And so can I.

After all, I always watched her from my bedroom.

There was a click at the door from the sound of a key.

I brushed myself off and stood up despite my stomach screaming for food.

Sister Abbey stood in the opening with black eyes, "Have you repented my child?"

I smiled at her innocently, "I have, Sister Abbey."

She carefully looked at my smile and determined it to be genuine, "Good."

I walked out of the door and continued to smile, "I hope you can forgive me Sister Abbey. I truly was a sinful child."

She smiled arrogantly, "I didn't think this would be so effective."

I followed her down the hall wordlessly. She chuckled, "To think you actually survived 10 days."

I see. That's how long I was stuck in there. But it felt like so much longer.

I shall return the suffering tenfold.

I went into my small room and looked out the window. It was dark now.

I could hear the clamoring as everyone went to their bedrooms. I stood staring out the window until I knew it was quiet.

I opened my door and stepped out quietly. Walking without a sound, I went to the kitchen. I pulled out a bag and stuffed it with food. I went to the window and stuck my leg out.

I hesitated.

I turned back with madness in my eyes.

I grabbed a canister of oil and began to dump it throughout the halls.

I lit a match and dropped it emotionlessly.

Watching the building go up in flames, I jumped out of the window. I began walking in the cold night. I had no destination in mind. I just had to get out of that place.

I arrived at a bus station with an innocent smile. "One ticket please."

The attendant looked at me carefully, "Do you even have money?"

I wasn't surprised he asked this. I was covered in dried blood, dirt, and chunks of oatmeal. I pulled out the change I had stolen before I left.

He took it and handed me a ticket. As I waited in the bus station, a breaking news bulletin appeared on the TV screen. I looked up at it.

The news caster reported, "The orphanage run by the Church has gone up into flames. So far only one is presumed dead."

I clicked my tongue, "Such a shame."

"They cannot find the body so police expect them to be dead as no one could survive the blaze. Sister Abbey came forward to say how awful the situation is. They don't have the money to repair the damages and are asking for donations...."

I chuckled dryly. I'm sure I'm the one presumed dead. Oh well. It doesn't matter. It's better if they think that.

One day...

I'll have my revenge on them.

One day.

This is only the beginning.