Chapter 125 - The Scars Of The Past Part 1

(This chapter takes place in the past after Seri recovers her memory and is saved by William. This is the three year gap Seri kept secret.)

It had been a few months since I was pushed by Ilene. My foot was almost healed, but staying in bed all day was starting to take its toll on me.

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw the people I thought were friends betray me.

Every night in my dreams, I fell off the cliff and landed on rocks.

Every night I had to relive that pain. Over. And. Over.

I couldn't stand it. I wanted to forget. I had to forget.

I forgot once, but why couldn't I forget again?

Was this all some joke? If I had died, then where was I now? Was this really another world, or was I just a character in some book? Is this heaven or hell?

Is it real?

Was anything ever real?

Were William, Dante, and Millie truly my friends? Or was that all fake too?

I'd rather not have friends if it meant I would only be betrayed and hurt. No. I can't be hurt like that again. I won't ever let anyone take advantage of me ever again!

I don't care if I become hated. I don't care if I become cruel.

I just want to live.

But I can't live like this. Stuck in a bed, always being watched. Everyone talking to me with worried faces...

I can't take it!

I can't stay in this room any longer!! I need to escape. Even if it's only for a night.

Being couped up like this... All I can do is remember. And I don't want to remember anymore. I need to distract myself.

In the dead of night, I hopped over to the window. My ankle was almost healed, but it would occasionally hurt whenever I tried to walk on it.

I threw the rope out of the window and started scaling down. I hovered at the end of the rope. I jumped the rest of the way, landing as I usually do.

*Crack*

A sharp cracking noise came from my ankle as I landed on it. I howled out in pain as I collapsed on the ground. I rolled on the ground, holding it while trying my best not to cry.

Hearing my screams of agony, Bertram quickly rushed into my room and flew down the rope. He grabbed me into his arms, "Seri! What happened?"

I could no longer contain my sobs, "I-I-I don't want to r-remember Bertram!!! I w-want to forget!"

He looked at me in confusion as I sobbed in his arms. "Forget what?"

I couldn't answer him.

How could I tell him that I was upset about a previous life? A pitiful. Unremarkable. Life.

He rubbed my head trying to soothe me as he carried me back inside. "What is it? Tell me."

I shook my head, "I just want to f-forget... I don't want to feel anything anymore. It's too hard..."

Bertram suddenly felt as if he understood the meaning behind the cry. Although he couldn't understand why, he knew it was a cry of one who had lost something that was irreplaceable.

He put me back to bed as I sobbed. My parents called for a doctor immediately after learning what had happened. Before I fell asleep... I only had one thought:

I didn't want to feel anything anymore.

I opened my eyes as the doctor spoke to my parents. "Her ankle suffered a fracture before it was healed. I fear this may have caused permanent damage. The bone is more vulnerable and will probably be easily broken in the future again."

Kane looked as if he would collapse at any moment. He spoke in a worried voice, "She'll still be able to walk in the future, right?"

The doctor nodded, "While she may be able to walk, it's hard to know if there is any long term damage. She may not be able to walk the same again. But only time will tell."

After he left, Lona sat next to me and looked down at me with a stern expression. "What were you thinking!? Where you trying to run away again?!"

I blinked.

I stared at the ceiling with a blank face. Since I opened my eyes, I felt as though I couldn't move my body at all. It was like I was watching the scenes play out in front of my eyes.

I couldn't even move my mouth to respond to her. I was a prisoner in my own body. Only able to watch, but not control.

I no longer felt a thing.

Lona noticed something amiss, "Seri? Seri what's wrong?"

My parents heard the urgency in her voice and rushed over. They began to ask me all sorts of questions, but I couldn't even move my head to nod.

A few days passed and I never improved. I didn't sleep, yet I was constantly tired. I only ate when I was fed. They switched me to liquids when they noticed I didn't even have the energy to chew.

I was wasting away. But I didn't care.

Eventually, the days began to blur together. I couldn't remember if Oliver came to visit... If I saw Millie, or if it was just a hallucination.

I was starting to lose touch with reality.

Kane looked at his wife, "This has gone on for long enough. We should ask for Dr. Singh."

My mother answered with a worried face, "But what about Seri? Everyone is already eyeing our family waiting to attack and slander us for everything that has happened. They want an excuse to take everything from us... If we call Dr. Singh, they will claim our daughter is mentally insane. We will lose everything. Including her."

He looked down with a frown. "But we can't just do nothing..."

My mother sighed deep in thought. Then her face lit up, "Dr. Singh has just received an award for his charity work. We can visit him under the pretense of congratulating him."

Kane's face lit up, "He's also been wanting to see Oliver, but has been too busy. I will write to him right away."

I blinked. The scene changed.

Lona was dressing me up. She was always used to me fighting back, but this time I didn't. Lona wore a pained expression as she hoped it would soon go back to normal.

I blinked as I looked into the mirror. A girl with long scraggly dark brown hair and brown eyes appeared in the reflection. She was gaunt and malnourished.

She sat on the bed as she flipped through the book in her hands with a scowl. "This Seri character is the worse! She's such a timid mouse. How annoying..." She shook her head and chuckled, "I hope she becomes cannon fodder."

Lona placed a hat on my head. A thin veil fell from it covering half of my face. I looked back into the mirror, but the girl on the bed was already gone.

Lona grabbed my hand and led me out. I blinked.

I sat in the carriage as it moved. My father supported me as I looked out of the window. I didn't feel nauseous. Or maybe I did... I couldn't tell.

As we passed a road, there was a person standing and staring into the carriage. She wore an oversized hoodie and a backpack. She smiled maliciously as she tossed the knife into the air, catching it skillfully.

I blinked. She disappeared.

When we arrived at the door, Lona held my hand. I could only follow. Dr. Singh smiled, "Come in! I'm so glad I could see you again."

Kane gave a half hearted smile. Luckily, my mother was able to keep up appearances for them. "Dr. Singh! Congratulations on the accomplishment. We made sure to bring you some gifts to celebrate your award."

He chuckled, "Thank you! Come on inside. My wife is excited to see little Oliver."

We entered the door and shut it behind us. Everyone had dark expressions. Dr. Singh knew instantly something was off.

He smiled to his wife, "My dear. Bring Natasha out to play with baby Oliver. I'm going to speak to Seri and her parents alone."

She nodded. I was escorted into a private room and sat down. Dr. Singh smiled at me, "Seri, darling. How are you today? Do you want to play with some dolls?" He chuckled, "Or are you too old for that now?"

A small girl with bruises on her face leaned over. She wore an old worn out shirt and shorts. Her dark brown eyes sparkled. "Dolls? I want to play with dolls!!! Mommy never buys me toys!"

Dr. Singh waited for a response, but none came. He opened his mouth, "bzzbzzbz bbbzbzzzb"

I no longer could make out his words. It sounded as if radio static was coming out of his open mouth.

The small girl looked at the door in fear. She began to shrink away. She shook violently, "Mommy... I didn't mean to come out of my room... I was just hungry... No! I'm sorry mommy! Please don't hurt me!"

The small girl quickly ran into a closed door.

Dr. Singh spoke quietly to my parents so I wouldn't hear. Not like it mattered. I couldn't understand anything anymore.

"Has anything traumatic happened to her lately?"

Kane answered, "She went on a school trip where a girl attacked her and pushed her down a hill. I was told she was stuck in the woods for several hours before someone found her."

He nodded, "I see... Sometimes, when people go through a traumatic experience, they shut down completely and take refuge in their own mind. They ignore the real world and become unreactive to it. It's a way to cope with the pain."

My mother's eyes watered, "But will she be alright? Will she ever recover?"

He sighed, "It's possible, but it's going to take support from everyone. Make sure she knows that you are there for her and will wait patiently for her to get better." He added, "It may also help to go on a trip. A change of scenery will be good for her."

Kane nodded, "We have a summer Villa. We can stay there."

I blinked.

Lona helped me off of a carriage and into a new house. This one was different from my other house. It was smaller and made out of stone. The yard was much bigger and contained a beautiful garden with flowers blooming. It looked like a cute cottage in the middle of nowhere.

Lona led me inside. My parents showed me to a room. My mother bent down and smiled at me, "This will be your room. Do you like it?"

My father laughed lightly, "Ah.. It's a bit girly isn't it? Probably too many decorations? If you don't like it, you can throw them out of the window."

I looked at the room expressionlessly. A small girl cowered in the corner. "Please don't hurt me... Please..."

Every day, Lona and I spent time walking around in the garden. Lona smiled at me, "Shall we take your brother this time? I hear he can walk now."

I stared ahead blankly. She left me and returned with my brother. He began walking with us and laughing. He grabbed at my dress, "Ri! Ri!"

Lona smiled, "That's right! It's your sister. Can you say Se-ri?"

He giggled, "Ri!"

She smiled at him, "You're getting closer."

Behind him, a girl covered in blood and bruises cried into her hands. Her eye was swollen shut with a wound so ugly covering it. She sobbed in agony, "Bring me my brother back... I want my brother..."

I blinked.

We were walking in the garden again. Just me and Lona this time. She led me, but something caught my attention. I stopped and stared at the flowers in front of me.

Lona noticed that I had stopped. She was overcome with hope and joy. "Do you remember those flowers? Dante gave one to you before..."

A person rolled out from under the bushes with a bright red face and a bottle in hand. This one wore an expensive pantsuit and her hair was now luxurious. Compared to the others, she was extremely beautiful. Even with the scars.

She giggled drunkenly, "Fufu. Did I fall asleep in the bushes again? Heh. I need to watch the new k-drama. Can't miss another episode! Hehehehe."

She stood up and stumbled away. I let go of Lona's hand and started following her. Lona's face lit up in excitement to see I was now walking on my own.

It wasn't much, but it was progress.