Chapter 263 - Simon's Perspective Part 1

[Author's note: This chapter is from Simon's perspective] 

[Disclaimer: This chapter contains alluding to assault on a child and may be uncomfortable to the reader.]

I walked back into the room after finishing my work to see Seri laying in the bed sleeping deeply. She clearly just collapsed on the bed and fell asleep. She didn't even worry about covering herself with the blanket.

I felt warm as I pulled the blanket over her. Lately whenever I have been looking at this girl, I feel like snatching her and putting her in a room that only I can visit. My hands twitched at this thought.

I felt a dark feeling start to seep into my body.

It wouldn't be too hard to bind her and keep her chained up in a room that only I could enter. Then I can have her all to myself. 

What would be a more beautiful sight than seeing those delicate pale wrists with clinking chains as she looks at me with those ferocious and fearless eyes of hers.

I forced myself to step away. I need to stop thinking about this. Soon I will have her all to myself. I will not have to worry about something happening to her. Tomorrow will be the day that she belongs to me. I just have to be patient.

I stepped away and looked at the floorboard. Now that I recall, she seemed to be hiding something under her shirt after we returned from the library. I find her too adorable whenever I see her acting so confident. It's true she isn't easy to see through, but I have been observing her long enough to know when she is hiding something.

I bent down and lifted the floorboard. Sure enough, she had hidden documents under that loose board. She really needs to come up with better hiding spots.

As I read those pages, I felt the uncontrollable resentment I had all those years ago come to the surface once more. The memories I forced down began to rise up once more reminding me just how deep my rage was.

_____

I was only a child.

I struggled to stand back up as I panted for air. My small arms shook as the blistering cold wind threatened to freeze me to the spot. My lungs felt heavy and burned from the frigid air. My light clothes offered no protection from the extreme environment. 

I was only seven years old. For three years, I had been forced into the army as a child solider. I did not remember much from those days, but I could never forget the agonizing torture that I was forced to endure once I was there. It wasn't just about training until my hands bled and my body was covered in bruises and sores. I was forced to learn how to torture others by being tortured by the same methods. If I were to beg for mercy, they would kill me instantly. It was a living hell.

But none of that could compare to the day I was forced onto a snowy mountainside.

This was the day I remembered like the back of my hand. It was seared into my memory.

This was the day a monster was born.

I drudged up the wintery mountain holding my arms in an attempt to stay warm. I shivered as I looked around. I did not sense any movement and continued to tread slowly through the snow. My hands twitched in fear as I forced myself to continue. I could not allow myself to stop. If I did, then the other children would surely catch me.

On this day, the rest of my cohort and I were thrown into the wilderness and forced to survive. There was one catch: Only one of us could return back to the army.

We were not allowed to leave until we either killed the others or the others died from being unable to survive in this cold climate. They dropped us off here in thin clothes with only a sword for a weapon.

I was still too scared to try to kill another person. I had watched as my fellow soldiers died from the grueling training and the lack of food. However, I had never killed someone with my own hands yet. This was also one of the reasons why I was chosen to be dumped in the snowy mountains. 

If you wouldn't willingly kill another, then you would be either forced to kill or left to die. The other children stuck here were just like me. We were all desperately trying to survive in this wasteland. With only a thin shirt and a sword, such a thing was really impossible.

"Psst! Simon! Over here!"

I jumped and fumbled for my sword to pull it out. However, my hands were so frozen that I could not even clasp my hand around the hilt. I looked over at where the sound came from and breathed a sigh of relief once I saw a familiar face.

"Uncle. You are here?"

He stepped out of the hidden cave and nodded, "I promised your mother and Gilyn I would watch over you. Did you really think I would let you freeze to death out here or be slaughtered by your fellow army members?"

I looked at him carefully, "But Uncle. If they learn that you helped me, won't you be in trouble?"

When I looked at my Uncle's face, his face was completely black. I could not make out a single feature. It wasn't that his face actually looked like this, but in my memories I could never recall what he actually looked like. 

I didn't want to either.

My uncle led me inside the cave where there was a fire built towards the back. My eyes lit up as I ran toward the fire and sat close to it. My uncle laughed when he saw this, "Don't sit too close. You may catch on fire."

I smiled at him warmly and nodded. I rubbed my hands together as I held them closer to the fire. Soon, my hands were no longer numb nor burning from the freezing cold. My Uncle saw that the warmth was returning to me and sat down beside me.

He spoke, "You know your mother really loves you."

I looked into the fire with a somber feeling in my chest, "If she loved me so much, then why did she let my father give me to the army?" I pouted, "You don't need to make me feel better, Uncle. I know that my mother does not care about me one bit. She abandoned me."

He rubbed my back to comfort me, "Do not say that. Of course she loves and cares for you. However, there was nothing she could do. The King's orders are absolute. Since she could not save you, she and Gilyn decided to have me look after you. If she did not care about you, would she have me do all this?"

He reached out and pinched my cheek. I giggled, "Uncle! Stop it!"

He kept pinching my cheeks, "Only if you admit it."

"Okay, okay! I admit it. Mother must love me if she had Uncle look after me."

"Good boy." He pulled away and started to rub my face. I found this strange, but did not say anything. His voice echoed in my ears, chilling me to my bones. "You know, Simon. You look really cute when you smile."

My mouth went dry as I felt him rub my shoulders in a strange way. "I… I-I do?" My voice echoed and sounded as if it did not come from my own throat.

In my memory, the cave began to grow darker. I heard his chilling voice in my ear, "You do. You look exactly like your mother. Your mother truly looks like a gift from the goddess. How lucky you are to have inherited that flawless face. Now... You should let Uncle help you get warm."

The rubbing started to feel weird. I felt so uncomfortable that I felt like running away. I tried to push his hands off, but he grabbed my small wrist and pinned it down to the ground painfully. I winced from the sudden pain. I looked at my Uncle with a feeling of dread growing in my chest. 

I forced myself to speak calmly, "Uncle… What are you doing?"

He got closer to me. Although I could not see his eyes, I felt like they were leering at me. The look in his eyes made me feel disgusted. He grabbed my other hand and pinned it to the ground. He spoke in a calm voice, "I am just going to help you get warm, Simon. It is not anything bad. Try not to move and just let your Uncle help you."

I clenched my fists, "Uncle! What are you doing?! Please stop!"

"Don't worry, Simon. Uncle is here to protect you."

I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my fists. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as my fingernails pierced my flesh. 

His voice taunted me, "Open your eyes, Simon. Let Uncle see that look in your eyes. I want to see that ferocious look in your eyes."

However, I could not open my eyes no matter how hard I tried. In my mind, a familiar yet unfamiliar face flashed before me. A woman with a large smile held her hands out to me.

She did not speak, but I could hear her eyes calling for me.

I ran towards her with my arms outstretched, "Mother! I knew you would not leave me mother!"

Yet, no matter how much I ran, I still was not getting any closer to her. My mother tilted her head and her smile began to look odd, "Simon… Mother never left you. She had your Uncle watch you in her stead. Are you not pleased to know Mother cared so much about you?"

I stopped running and felt my smile fall. My eyes looked at her in disbelief, "Uncle? But Uncle is…"

I clenched my jaw.

I shook my head, "I do not like Uncle very much."