Chapter 115: Fading Memories

"Well this was underwhelming." Asher said as we stared at the last room. It was an old storage room once, or at least that was what we assumed as it was filled with large shelves. Though they were empty and without a speck of dust, just like the rest of the castle, it was clear that this place had once been used.

"There are scratches." Asher said as he swiped his fingers across one of the shelves. "No dust though." He hesitated. He was clearly thinking of something.

"I don't think we'll find what we're looking for here." Lucius said after a short moment of silence. "Kai," He turned to face me with a dark expression. "We have to go back to that sphere."

I took a deep breath. "I know." I glanced at Asher, who immediately avoided my gaze. I knew why he was so weary – he had felt the same thing as me; a dark power emanated from that sphere. Demonic power.

"Let's spend the night." I said after a short moment. "I'm exhausted and I'm not about to dabble with the 'forbidden' when I'm so tired." As the words left my mouth, I could see Asher's relief. "I remember seeing some bedrooms nearby."

"That's not a bad idea." Asher said after a moment. "I'll prepare some defensive spells, just in case."

"Thanks." I mumbled. I knew how worried he was. We scattered, each choosing a room. As I closed the sturdy wooden door behind me, I sighed. I wasn't entirely comfortable with sleeping in a castle that clearly belonged to demons, but I didn't think I could do much while I was so exhausted either.

I glanced at the bed. It didn't have a speck of dust on it. Those sheets were clean, and it looked just so soft and comfortable. I hesitated, then decided to indulge myself just a little. I climbed on the bed and let my body relax. I welcomed the dark embrace of sleep.

Out of breath and sweaty, I woke up in the dead of night. My heart was beating as if it were trying to burst out of my chest. My eyes wide open, I looked around, trying to get my bearings.

It took a moment to remember where I was… and even longer to remember who I was.

I opened my interface and stared at my name for a good minute. Kai Friseal. I read it, made sure it was burned in my memory.

I sat cross legged on the bed for a while, afraid to go to sleep again. My body felt somewhat alien. Why didn't I have scales? Large wings? Claws? Horns? The wyvern's soul snuck out of my chest as I sat there, my head between my hands. It circled around me, unable to go any farther. I shivered as it brushed past me. The phoenix had burned me, the wyvern was trying to make me forget who I was…

I forced myself to remember home. Not the inn I stayed in Baile Chailce and not the room I was given in Stonepatch Village. Not the tiny room in Mrs. Carrie's house. Home. My room – decorated with weapons and books. Where I felt safe, even at the lowest point of my life.

My heart skipped a beat as I noticed that I couldn't remember it. I couldn't remember... What colour were my walls? How large was the room? Which wall was covered by the bookshelf?

The wyvern's soul re entered my chest as I sat in silence. My body was frozen, as was my mind. I was slowly losing myself. Who I was in the real world, the heir of the Friseal family, the kid who wanted to learn in all… He was slowly being forgotten.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. The door swung open before I could say anything or pull myself together. Asher stood in the doorway, pale faced and wide eyed.

"Asher?" I asked, hoping the darkness of the night would hide my emotions. "What happened?"

"I should ask you the same." He said, closing the door and creating a small sphere of light in his palm. I turned my head away, but he had already seen my pale, fearful expression. "Something happened, didn't it?" He asked, leaning on the door.

"Just a bad dream," I said, shaking my head.

"Stop lying!" The sorcerer shouted. I flinched, he was really, genuinely angry. "I felt the same thing you did!"

I flinched, again. "Sorry." I looked away. I didn't want to wake him up and I didn't want him to be so aware of my own issues.

"Is it the wyvern's doing?" He asked after a short moment of silence. I sighed, then nodded. "What did you see?" I could hear his worry. He wasn't doing a good job hiding it. Then again, I did an even worse job at it.

"I didn't see anything." I said with a sigh. "I just… lost myself, for a minute." I looked down, at my hands. "It was trying to take over."

Asher remained silent. Unsure of what to do, I continued. "I'll be fine, the primal core will help me control the wyvern."

"How can you be so sure?" The sorcerer finally asked. "You said yourself how powerful it is. How do you know the primal core will be enough?"

"Because it was enough with the phoenix!" My voice cracked. "There is no reason for it to be any different now."

The sorcerer sighed and stepped closer. "How did you get the primal core of fire, Kai?" I could see the determination in his eyes. He wanted to – no, needed to – know.

"Why does it matter?" I replied, with equal amounts of determination. I didn't want to tell him about Vixia.

"Because I don't believe it's just the primal core's power that calmed the phoenix." He said, calmly. "I think someone helped you, and they did something else in the process too."

"No." I shook my head. All Vixia had done was keeping me alive, wasn't it? "The primal core is enough."

"What if it's not?" Asher gestured towards me. "How long can you keep this up, Kai? This… this façade, where you act like you have everything figured out?"

"It has to be enough!" I brought my fist down on the bedsheets. "It has to be, Asher."

We stared at each other for a while. This time, I was the one to look away. "If it's not… I might as well be dead."