Chapter 135: Facing the World Again

The rays of sunlight touching my skin woke me up from my restless sleep at dawn. I opened my eyes to an unfamiliar white ceiling. The soft bed felt strange, as did the fluffy pillows and warm, comfortable blanket.

Where was I? 

Blissful forgetfulness didn't last long though, as yesterday's memories were quick to fill my mind. 

I buried myself under the blanket as grief threatened to overcome me. Grief and guilt. Sadness and wrath. 

I didn't even know who to hate – I couldn't put a name to the faces I'd seen and the most important person – the woman under that cloak, the same person who used that little girl, Elise, as a weapon. Though I didn't know who she was, I could guess what she was.

I had to get out of bed and get moving. I had to somehow force Aelith to tell me who that person was. I needed answers, desperately. Yet, I continued to lie tucked between the fluffy pillows and soft blankets. I couldn't find it in me – the strength to get out of bed and face the world again.

I missed home so much. Despite all the challenges I faced on a daily basis, my life was a good one back then. I bitterly chuckled at the irony. Back then, I'd have done anything to get out of that life – I had even gone as far as escaping home via a distant scholarship. And where had that led me? Here.

I laid on the bed for some more time, but eventually convinced myself to get up. I forced the guilt and grief to the back of my mind – I'd deal with those feelings later, when I could afford to.

I fixed my wrinkled clothes and washed my face in the bathroom. I couldn't believe how modern this place looked. Sure, there was no electricity, but there was running tap water, proper lighting – magical, of course – and even soap that smelled like lavender.

Once I was properly awake and ready to face Aelith, I finally reached for the door handle. I was honestly fully expecting it to be locked, so when the door slowly opened, I was more surprised than I probably should have been. 

"Good morning, Keeper." A cold voice sounded. Of course, there were guards. I looked at either side of the door to see two Ereth guardsmen, clad in white armour. 

"I was told the Divine Matriarch wished to see me," I said after bidding them a good morning as well. 

They nodded. "Follow us." I did as they said, trying to supress this anxious feeling. Confronting Aelith wasn't something I wanted to do yet – I wasn't well enough prepared for it. Yet, I couldn't let Samantha's death go unpunished. 

I repeated that sentence. Again, and again. Samantha's death. Not my fault, not Erik's, not anyone else's. Not even that young girl's. The only person to blame for Samantha's death was that cloaked woman.

Eventually, we arrived at the throne room. Just like before, I stepped on the sigil on the ground before Divine Matriarch Aelith's throne and, with a white light, got teleported to her library.

"I didn't expect you to pull yourself together so quickly." I looked around, searching for her. She wasn't by the windows, or the bookshelves, or the couches. "I'm impressed." I felt her hand on my shoulder as she whispered into my ear. "Very impressed." She pressed every word as her bewitching voice threatened my mind.

"If I could bring her back, I would," I said softly. "But I can't. What I can do is avenge her." I stepped back, then turned to face her. "I saw the person who led and orchestrated the attack."

To my surprise, her eyes widened. Did she… not know her? Or was I not supposed to know that?

"Describe them." She suddenly said, her voice echoing with traces of magic. I clenched my fists, then did as she asked. 

"You wounded her?" She asked, her eyes glittering like she'd found something she'd been looking for. "Are you absolutely certain?" I could see her determination, but that only made me feel uneasy.

"Who is it?" I finally asked. I was ready for whatever dismissive answer she'd give me. And I was ready to push for more information.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure." She ran her hand through her crimson hair, then reached out towards me. I instinctively stepped back – I did not trust her one bit. "I will find out, and I will make sure her deeds do not go unpunished."

I flinched; I didn't expect that response. In fact, I was sure she'd tell me not to investigate this any further. Seeing her expression, I furrowed my brows. What was this deed she was talking about? I simply couldn't see it in this devilish woman to care about Samantha's death so much.

"What will you do?" I asked after a short moment. Her lips formed a wicked smile just before she turned her back on me. "Oh, let that be my secret." Her cold, terrifying tone was enough to send shivers down my spine.

"Fine." I said after taking a deep breath. "Is there something you want from me? I'd like to return, if possible." 

She stopped mid step. I felt my body become tense as she very slowly turned towards me. "Hmm…" She mumbled something as she looked at me. "You may return, for now." She waved her hand and before I even got the chance to say anything, a flash of bright light enveloped me.

"Please follow us, Keeper." I heard the Ereth guard's voice before I even opened my eyes. Wordless, I nodded and followed them as they led me back to the entrance. Only when I left the palace and put some distance between us did I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Asher." I called out to him through our mental connection. I needed to talk to him, tell him about Aelith's reaction. Now that I think about it, I hadn't even gotten the chance to tell him what I saw yet.

"Where the hell were you?" I nearly jumped in my place as his mental scream startled me. "I couldn't contact you all night!" He continued to shout.

"I'll explain everything," I tried to calm him down. "I'm fine, you don't need to worry." 

A moment passed. I could imagine how he was trying to regain his composure. "Let's meet." He finally said with a sigh. "Victoria found something, can you come there?"

I hesitated. I really wanted to check up on the others first. "I'll be a bit late." I finally said. I wasn't about to try and speak to Erik, but just seeing him and the others safe and sound would help quell this anxious feeling.

"We'll be waiting." Once again, I was surprised at Asher's understanding. No matter how much time had passed, I couldn't get the first time we met out of my mind. He was still that goal-oriented sadist to me, in a way. 

I headed back to the inn. I pondered how to approach them, but a familiar face saved me from my dilemma as I reached for the inn's door. 

Just as I reached for the handle, the door swung open and Mona ran outside. She stopped right before colliding with me.

"Kai?" Her angry expression softened immediately. "How are you holding up?" She asked, pulling me away from the busy street into the nearby alleyway. "Is there anything I can do for you?" 

"I'm fine," I said, forcing a smile. "I'm sorry if I worried you." I glanced at the inn. "Did something happen?" I asked hesitantly. She did seem quite angry as she left the building.

She flinched and shook her head. "Oh, no." Her voice trembled as she looked away. "I was just checking up on your friends." She was clearly lying. 

"What happened, Mona?" I insisted. 

"Nothing!" She suddenly smiled. She reached out and gently touched my shoulder. "Are you sure you're ok?" She finally asked. "You don't look okay."

"I'm fine." I brushed off her question. "I-"

"Someone just died." Her words were like daggers, digging deep into my chest. "Your friend just died." She said, again. "I can see how guilty you feel." 

The thoughts of guilt that I had thrown to the back of my mind resurfaced. I wanted to say that I was fine, that she didn't need to worry about me, but the words got stuck in my throat. I gave up as she hugged me. "I'm so sorry, Kai." She whispered.

I leaned on the wall as she did on me. We stood like that for a bit – I wasn't sure how long. We didn't talk, we didn't cry, and we didn't judge each other. Eventually, she gently pulled herself back and smiled, not averting her gaze at all. "We're here if you need us." She lightly squeezed my hand before letting go. "All of us."

I nodded. "I know. Thank you." 

She smiled, then left. I stood there a short while longer, processing my thoughts and feelings. It took a while, but when I left the alley, I could say without looking away.

It's not my fault.