Chapter 65 - 64

After a while of sitting and laying on the ground Philip helped Kai get up. His wounds had completely healed and now it was only his appearance that seemed disheveled. 

After the painful and untrue fact that Kai had a boyfriend Philip had gotten a bit tense. He walked in front of the prince, his hands in his pockets. He didn't turn back once while Kai silently followed him. The forest had turned kinder again, filled with life and beautiful colors. Just because he was there, right next to him everything seemed to be friendlier. He didn't hate the vastness or the unknown, he simply enjoyed walking, heading somewhere with him.

"Why are you so grumpy now?" Kai asked him, making him stop. "I'm sorry I tried to eat you" he told him. 

Philip didn't answer him. He turned around and scanned him with his eyes, surrounded by the calmness of the forest he heard at his heart. Listen to it carefully. All it did was repeat his name. Kai, Kai, Kai. Something like that had never happened before, his heart was never beating for someone else, a vampire and someone he didn't even know. Kai was surrounded by a veil of secrets, he was a mystery but even that could not stop his mind from going insane.

"What are we?" Philip asked, surprising again the prince. He always talked as if he didn't care about the consequences. 

"What do you mean?"

"I am going insane here Kai. One second I feel like you want me and the other you tell me you're with someone. You kiss me and you push me away. You literally shielded me from a tree and you act as if it was nothing! I don't understand you. I want to get closer to you but every time you seem to open up you immediately close your heart again. I...I am not used to this." Philip said.

"You're simply used to people going after you all the time. You are just intrigued by me because I haven't turned into your little dog Philip." Kai told him, his tone turning cold again. The werewolf groaned, frustrated with what he heard.

"Do not tell me how I feel. Don't try to explain my feelings to me. I know very well how I feel and what is going on and no, I didn't mean it like this. What I mean is that I am not used to...to falling in love with someone." He said, his voice turning quieter in the end of his sentence as if he was afraid to say it. 

Kai's beautiful eyes widened, he was stunned. He couldn't believe he was hearing Philip say something like that. He couldn't believe that no matter what he did they were walking towards the same path. It had been his fault, he had been reckless and he had let go at the moment he shouldn't have. He had led him on because he couldn't contain his feelings and now, he was going to hurt Philip, take him in his own dark path.

"I fell in love with someone once." Kai said.

"Yeah, Soran I know but…"

"It wasn't Soran. I did love him but that one person. That man that came into my life changed everything. My whole world. I fell in love with him and I fell in love hard." He said, a bitter smile on his lips. "I worshiped him. Me, the spoiled royal who wanted everything for himself would throw his life in an instant if it meant I would be able to make him happy. I would leave my crown, my family, all of it just to be with him but he didn't let me. No matter how many times I asked, no matter how many times I begged him he didn't want me to lose who I was. Do you know Philip what happens when a prince falls in love with someone they shouldn't? They make sure to make him understand that he is not allowed to, they want him, they hunt him down and if he doesn't listen they take everything away in the most painful way. I loved him and I still do, I want him and I miss him but I know that being with him will only hurt him. Because all I do is hurt him." 

"You're not at the palace anymore Kai." Philip said and the prince scoffed.

"I will always be at the palace. I will always be running away from the palace. That's why Philip, even if I want you, I can't have you, because if I do, you will die." Kai wanted him.

Philip knew what his reaction should be. He should realize the danger, he should see the signs that Kai was trying to give him. Being together was impossible for so many reasons but still, his body was denying all that, as if it didn't really phase him. He walked closer, his eyes stuck on Kai's as he caressed his cheek.

"So you want me." Philip said.

"Didn't you hear what I said? You will die!" Kai told him. His tone getting louder as if he screamed he would be able to reach him, make him understand. 

"You can call me insane, I don't mind but the truth is….I don't really care. All I can think about is you, all I see is you. Death almost seems like a cure if you reject me again. I can't even believe my own words but Kai...I don't care, I don't care as long as I get to kiss you again." Philip whispered.

Kai had tried. He had endured and he had hurt. He couldn't do it any more. He was at his limit, he had no more strength to push the man in front of him away. The werewolf who held the earth in his eyes, whose smile lit up his darkness. How could he keep pushing someone like that away. The man who told him that he would embrace death if he could just get one kiss. 

The prince was the insane one. He knew what was about to happen. He knew that Philip would remember soon and that would hurt him, he would be hated again and he would have to live with it but now, for the next few days he could maybe live and prepare to die again. 

He grabbed Philip with no warning. He brought their bodies closer, feeling his chest touch his. He was the one that kissed him first now, the werewolf felt as if he was truly being devoured but he didn't hate it. As Kai kissed him deeper he felt his body burn up, his desire to rise. 

He wrapped his hands around his waist, gripping at his flesh as he entered Kai's mouth, hearing him moan.

"Fine" Kai said out of breath. "I'm yours until you hate me."

"I will never hate you" Philip told him.

Such a bitter lie but Kai still chose to believe it.

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