"Kyera that child will be well loved. Protection will never be a issue whether you are busy or at the child's side. So many will be here for you, and for it. There is no reason for you to take that burden on alone. You have Clovis as well. He has done this once before." Talis pointed out, as gently as he could. He knew her emotions were getting the better of her, pregnancy did that to people.
"That is the problem. Clovis has done this before, he protected Raina from that bloody hell they called a harem. He raised a beautiful, bright child and he made sure she was raised well. He could discern who to trust and who to shun away without question. I can't even protect myself from being broken, how will I protect a child?" She asked, her voice sounding broken and desperate for answers. He had no idea how to respond.
"I was born to a family of betrayal. From my grandfather, to my mother, to the men and women who were suppose to protect me and my brothers, to my own lover. What happens if I fail to see the same damage coming yet again? Will my families curse follow me to yet another innocent life?" Kyera demanded and he couldn't help but growl a warning. She was being too hard on herself.
"None of that was your fault. You were just a child." Talis tried to defend but she shook her head.
"Don't push further, Talis. We both know the main proof of my lack of judgement is too close to both our hearts, and too fresh. I have to do this to prove my worth, please, just let me do what I feel is necessary." Kyera all but plead. She was getting control again, all those emotions were being forced back into the box she hid them in. Thank the Gods the other students had already left the practice field or she wasn't sure she could live with this humiliation.
"Fine, but what will this prove?" He motioned to the bow and the targets littered with poorly aimed arrows. She looked at it, her heart winced as she saw her misses scattered across the ground. Each arrow seemed to be mocking he from where they had landed.
"It will prove she can meet those bastards on their own terms and win on her own accord. She may not be able to avoid trouble, but she can meet it head on once it comes." Mordakai walked down the steps of the tower, and explained for her. He saw it clearly, and had known the moment he saw her enter the archery field. These targets were just below the window to his study. He stood before her and put both hands on his hips, there was a seriousness in his eyes. She straightened up as he looked at her, his eyes piercing her soul. He could see what Talis could not, the guilt ravaged white light that was her very soul. He spoke to it, not to the flesh that held it.
Kyera took a deep breath and notched an arrow. Slowly, she took aim. Pulling back in a slow, easy motion she felt the power of her own soul coursing through the wood and back to herself. The bow melted into her, and became one with her body. She released the arrow, and it flew through the air toward the target. For a split second, she thought she had done it, but the arrow tip buried itself in the dirt, a few inches short of the target. Her heart sank as she lowered the bow.
"When you learn to forgive yourself, your aim will become true. Till then, you are only fighting yourself, Kyera." Mordakai spoke clearly, before shaking his head. "To forgive the past, will allow you to protect your future." He added before looking toward the castle.
"I understand. Thank you, My Lord." Kyera replied and tried to hand him the beautiful bow back. She knew there was a good chance this bow had suffered its first missed mark. She could hardly bare to hold it now. He refused it, his hand closing over hers, closing those fingers back around the dark wood.