Chapter 8

Apologize or Accept It

She’s such a terrible teacher who should be fried to death in the sun. She wouldn’t compliment me even once, but always gives me twice the amount of homework I learned. I seemed to have been thought of as incorrect from the start. 

They say that if you have messy hair, you don’t look good no matter how sweet you are. And as expected I failed without a hitch. 

Eventually, I gave up my snacks, and locked myself up in the bedroom. When I was tired, I dozed off in bed, got up again, and opened the book by my bedside. I don’t know in what way I’ll be able to use these studies, but after a year, I seem to know more things that I never needed to know.

When I got tired of the boredom of studying, I was faced with an unusual news.  It was the news from the maid who came to light the candlestick in my room. Sandoria seemed to have fallen ill She had been skipping dinner since last night, and I knew the reason. 

The child’s face floated in my head throughout my homework, even though it wasn’t my concern. Don’t girls faint with a fuss when they’re pricked by a rose thorn? There was a cold side to the people here too since they realized the child was sick only after the illness symptoms showed up. They should have known that the child was strange from the moment she kept refusing to eat.

Whether it was because of the burning study battle or the dull relationship, or whether I was tired of going out like an earthworm for a few days, but naturally, I turned my attention to Sandoria. My mother stopped by her room for a while, so I think it’s okay, but as a person living on the same floor, I think it’s kind of hard for me to shut up and ignore her.

That’s why I threw away my book and flung around the hallway in my pajamas because of my nosiness. I’m even doing what I wouldn’t do under the pretext of being bored. Still, there are a lot of sick children in the back alleys, so it’s not something to be proud of, but shouldn’t a slender girl like that be a little more careful?

However, when I got to the front door, I was worried. Sandoria could never welcome my visit. She’s sick and weak. I don’t know if I should go in or not? I grabbed the doorknob in front of me but put down my hand, and made a fuss for a while

“Iara?”

Then a fragrant smell came from behind. I looked back and saw Edrid, who had plucked a bunch of flowers. He looked surprised. 

Just as I was about to go back, Edrid’s hand held my shoulder.

“Whoa, where are you going? Since you’re here, let’s go in together.”

“I’m here to find something,” 

“What?” 

“You know, it’s just something.”

To be honest, I don’t have a tongue-drying disease*, but what kind of disgrace is this? Is it because I’m not really on good terms with that child? After the big fight in the kitchen back then, I can’t even remember the last time I spoke properly to her.

(* She’s saying she doesn’t has any disease related to tongue but still she is having hard time in speaking, so it’s embarrassing for her)

But Edrid, who was ignorant and strong, dragged me along. Continuing to argue outside the door would have just awakened Sandoria. It was a long time before I decided that I had better follow him quietly. I tsked at how Erdrid became quiet when I stopped quarreling with him.

“Let’s be friends, shall we?”

“What’s the use of being so close to you?”

“I may be able to solve a problem that you sometimes don’t understand with your head.”

I was really annoyed at the way he was teasing me. Edrid opened the bedroom door, gently raising the medicine. I wanted to squeeze through too, so I followed him in. It was clear from the beginning that he had shown me the medicine in order to lure me in.

I stepped on Edrid’s foot without a word, when he was sticking out his tongue as if he didn’t care. A thin cry was heard, like a kitten’s cry. My eyes and Edrid’s opened widely.

“Sorry… I was wrong.”

Edrid’s face stiffened and he approached the bed. I also hesitated to go forward. Sandoria, full of tears, shook her face wildly. It felt like she was being chased in a nightmare. She cried so hard that even the hearts of those who saw it, hurt.

“Ria. Wake up.”

Edrid grabbed Sandoria’s shoulder and shook her. The one who used to be playful didn’t even smile. Sandoria opened her eyes, while biting her lips. The tear-stained eyes of Sandoria contained Edrid. 

“Ed…”

It was just when I thought she was going to cry. Sandoria’s gaze turned a little, and reached me who was standing behind. Sandoria hurriedly pulled up her pajamas. 

“Why are you here?”

Picking up flowers which should have been in the hands of Edrid’s, I found something to say. I thought it was ridiculous that I, who didn’t care before, suddenly volunteered to visit her sickbed. It must have been the same with Sandoria. Her gentle face that had been facing Edrid broke apart. 

“Do you pity me?”

Sandoria looked at the flowers in my hand with disgust. Her crying eyes glared at me.

“Don’t pity me, I’m not sad enough to be sympathized by you. It’s not even painful.”

Edrid, who heard it, spoke as if he was bewildered.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It was a mild fever. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ria, why are you being so sharp? She was wandering around the door worrying about you…….”

“Who asked her to do so?”

Sandoria looked at me. Her look was plainly telling me to go out. Since she was sick, I understood. It’s understandable that she doesn’t like it because she suddenly has to show her dirty side when she isn’t happy. Originally, she would want to show her comfortable self to those who were comfortable. The same was true for me of course.

“I’m going out,”

“Wait. Come on,”

I was no longer in the mood to be here, whether Edrid stopped me or not. I was about to leave the flowers that had been plucked on the table, when a cold voice called out.

“Take it. I don’t need it.”

The expression “pulling the goal” was used in this case. I instantly got a fever. No matter how much I think about it, it was her fault. My foot that was about to leave stopped and went back again. Sandoria, lying with a pale face, was watching me. Did she want to see if I was going out?

(T/N: “pulling the goal”- a Korean idiom meaning to trigger something)

“What are you doing?”

I picked up a vase that the maid seemed to have left. After pulling out all the flowers in them and throwing them on the floor, I put the flowers that Edrid had brought them in and placed them proudly beside the bed. 

“Make sure you get well, okay?”

Sandoria looked at the vase I had prepared with astonishment. It was a moment when I turned around, hoping that this would be enough. There was a crash and a noise. There was no need to look back. 

“Sandoria!”

Sandoria, who managed to get up, provoked me. On the floor was a broken vase, and the flowers that Edrid had picked were rolling sadly. I’ve been controlling my wicked heart well, but she sprung up again and touched my temper.

“Your cousin prepared it for you”

The crack of the vase echoed through the hallway. There was a knock on the door from outside to see what was going on. She even woke the maids who were sleeping in the small room. Edrid looked troubled because he was caught in the middle. 

said Sandoria firmly.

“Don’t lie to me,”

“Lies? Ask your cousin. Is it a lie or not?”

“Why, have you put Ed on your side now?”

“My side?”

I rushed at the child, but Edrid popped up in the middle. Holding my rushing body, he even blocked Sandoria, who was about to rise with one hand.

“All right, take it all. I don’t need anything. It wasn’t even mine from the start,

“Sandoria! What’s wrong with you today?”

Edrid spoke in a voice that showed it was too much, as he tried to stop me from rushing in. I wasn’t surprised at the child’s compassion. Who is the one that should be sad? 

“Why…..have you been thrown away? Is it like a circle, coming back around?”

“Iara!”

Then Sandoria’s eyes became sharp. She staggered up and struck my hand. It didn’t hurt, but it was a very dirty move.

“It’s not a waste, take it! Instead, don’t look at me pitifully. Don’t pity me. Bad luck. Who do you think you are…!”

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“Sandoria, stop!”

Edrid caught me off guard for a moment when I bit him in the shoulder. He missed me, and I jumped into Sandoria’s bed. She grabbed my shoulder without a sign of panic. I grabbed the child by the collar. 

We flung our hands at each other. Sandoria’s hands were evenly smacked on my cheeks, shoulders, and cheekbones. I didn’t know where the strength came from that skinny child. When I hit her in the eye, he screamed.

“Shit! Sandoria! Stop!”

Whether it was the blood from Sandoria’s mouth or mine, the pillowcase was covered in bright red blood. The door burst open as we rolled to the floor. 

I heard a lot of footsteps. Even if we heard those voices, we couldn’t let go of each other. Our wicked hands were busy looking for more places to break our opponent’s body

There was a buzzing sound, like a bee’s wings. I suddenly saw a green firefly. It raised my foot and raised my hand. My body, rolling on the floor, floated into the air. 

I felt the fishy taste of blood and swung my arms and legs. The same was true of Sandoria in front of me. The child’s limbs were glowing green, too. Our eyes met in the air.

“Iara, Sandoria,” 

I looked back at the voice calling for me. My mother, clasping her lips with shock, and my grandfather, raising one hand, stood. Behind them, the maids couldn’t raise their heads. 

This light came from my grandfather. Thousands of tiny green lights connected to my grandfather’s hands supported us. He slowly lowered us down when he saw signs of calming down.

My eyes were red with bruises and my mouth was ripped. As soon as I touched the ground, my ankle ached, I seemed to have sprained. 

Sandoria’s situation was no different too, as soon as she touched the ground, she collapsed. The silence was not short. Grandpa’s angry voice urged us both.

“It must have been an unspeakable fight,”

Sandoria, who I thought he would say something quickly, only whimpered. Grandpa stared at Sandoria and then stared at me again. I looked as if I had nothing more to say.

“No one wants to speak out.”

Both of us stared at the floor. Edrid, who wasn’t in front of us, stepped forward.

“It’s nobody’s fault. There’s been a misunderstanding. It was just a quick argument.”

“They aren’t cowardly granddaughters who spoke through their cousin’s mouth.”

I didn’t know because my grandfather always laughed but his angry face was so hard to look at. Isn’t it said that people who like to laugh are more likely to be harsh with words? 

I was digging the floor with my toenails. It was when my grandfather’s eyes went past me and glanced at Sandoria. The child, who I thought would stay still, opened her lips.

“It’s not my fault.”

The sound of my mother’s breath and grandfather’s eyes focused on Sandoria. Grandpa raised the ends of his eyebrows.

“Is it Iara’s fault then?”

“Yes,”

She’s such a bad girl. I glanced at the child lying on the back.

“I’m not the one who made a mistake, either.”

Grandpa didn’t say anything.  With a shocked expression on his face, Edrid sat down on the bed and closed his eyes. After that, it was my mother who dug into the gap of silence.

“Not even boys…….”

When my mother’s low murmur was over, no one spoke more. The maids looked at each other in dismay, and grandfather waited for the excuses to continue. But Sandoria turned her head sharply, and I dug a tunnel with my claws.

“If there’s no one who’s wrong, we’ll have to sort out who’s wrong.”

He had a grave voice unlike a grandfather. My grandfather said slowly, and walked between me and Sandoria. He took hold of my arm, and of Sandoria. 

“Father,”

My mother tried to stop us, but my grandfather pulled us up and dragged us out of the bedroom. No one followed or stepped in to stop him. His expression was very determined.

“You two are responsible for the future of the West. We can fight, we can hit each other.”

We were taken away by our grandfather, but we never looked at each other. My grandfather felt cold as if his eyes were hanging on the back of his head.

“But I cannot have anyone in my family who says he does not know his fault. You wouldn’t reflect on yourself if you don’t know what you did wrong, and there is no mercy if you don’t reflect. Those without mercy have no hesitation in dragging their families into the fire.”

Just as grandfather took us both, with no one stopping us, we both just followed his grandfather, not knowing where he was going. 

In fact, it was the right expression to say that we were taken away, but we did not say words, something like, we did wrong or even apologize, even though our faces were mixed with fear and regret.  Maybe that’s what made Grandpa even more angry.

A green light rose around my grandfather. The wind swept through our wounded wounds and supported our feet as if they had understood. 

I walked in the sky without realizing it. The green light gathered like a cloud on my feet, and on Sandoria’s feet. We walked slowly through the sky, while stepping on it.

The green light led by my grandfather guided us over the wall. Even though I knew I shouldn’t do that, I was impressed. The green light that seemed to have been made by plowing the green fields allowed me to cross the wall. 

The night sky was pouring down on me. The star-studded sky was like a ceiling you could reach if you stretched out your hand. It was a sight that I wanted to see even with my head tilted back.

We soon saw where Grandpa was taking us.  It was a small hut. There were small walls all over the place, and in the round sun, there was a hut alone. There seemed to be no exit.  It was impossible unless he climbed the wall.

We were placed in the middle of it. There was only one cabin, and the surroundings were surrounded by walls. It was probably a separate place on the outskirts of the castle.  We sat down in the green field and looked up at our Grandpa.

“I hear you both did nothing wrong.”

Grandpa bent his knee to meet our slumped gazes.

“Iara, Sandoria. Either one of them admits her mistake first.”

“…….”

“Will get out of here first,”

It was my grandfather’s last chance. If we didn’t say we were wrong, he would leave us here. But I shut up. Sandoria’s lips remained motionless too. My grandfather’s wrinkles deepened.

“I have no idea,”

Grandpa stood up at the same time as he sighed. He looked at the hut.

“You’ll have plenty of food and everything you need.”

Grandpa summoned the green light again. This time, unlike before, it only covered my grandfather’s feet. We sat on the floor and watched the grandfather raising up.

He said he would send people once a day. Only the uncomfortable air between me and Sandoria remained here, after he left those words. Grandpa’s figure disappeared faster than before. I sat there until the little dot was gone.

“I have done nothing wrong.”

Sandoria was a very strong girl. My tongue clicked at her words.

“Therefore,”

“Whether you apologize to each other or stay in this place, those are your only two options.”

“That’s great. I can’t believe you said you’d be stuck here for the rest of your life.”

Sandoria’s eyes were swollen. Her lips were covered with blood. My condition isn’t much different from her too. We looked at each other fiercely and judged that further fighting was a loss. As the night came, it was cold.  Without saying a word to each other, we staggered into the hut.

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It happened that there were two beds. One on the right and one on the left. I walked naturally to the left and lay down. Sandoria, who was hesitating, lay down on the right side of the bed. We turned our backs and made a painful noise.

It’s not like I’m losing my teeth. 

(T/N: she means to say, it’s not like the end of the world)

I felt a slight tingle in my teeth and decided: I will never apologize first.

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