Chapter 81 - Love Me Madly Or Hate Me Dearly

"Because at the end of the day... you are my owner and not my lover."

Everything Aries had spewed was the realization she had back in the carriage. Abel, no matter how hateful he was, Aries hated herself more. Their relationship wasn't normal. It was suffocating, draining, and was driving them both to insanity. 

But then again, were they both sane? Or were they just pretending all this time? Between the fine line of insanity and sane, were they stepping on both lines?

To be honest, Aries was unsure either. But what she was certain was... Abel was the only one she had.

There was no place in this world for her anymore. Rikhill had fallen and no matter how she denied it, her hatred for the Maganti Empire was deep in her bones. 

She would never get her peace.

Even if she leave this place or stay with him, it would be the same. Or rather, the only difference was that... she would be all on her own. Aries couldn't do that anymore. The darkness had swallowed her completely. She'd rather hold someone's hand in that pitch darkness so she would know there was someone with her. 

The only person who could be in that same hell was none other than Abel. They live or die together and she was fine with either. 

There was a long silence between them. Abel remained silent all throughout, eyes fixed on her clear eyes. Her words were unfiltered, but that didn't graze him. If anything, there was one thing that actually marked in his head.

"Let's be lovers then." His words came out only above a whisper, making her breath hitch. "I want more, darling. Not just your body, but your heart, your mind, your soul. Live or die for me."

Abel raised his finger, reaching her face only to stop midway. She would disappear, he thought. Like a mirage, Aries would disappear and he wouldn't see her again. Just the thought of it felt like his chest was being hollowed out. 

"Love me madly or hate me dearly. It doesn't matter." He snapped his eyes at her, smiling incomprehensibly. "Love is something I do alone, and hate keeps you going. Let's do that, Aries... till death do us part."

Her eyes softened as she gazed at the hand hovering before her. He wasn't touching her and she sort of guessed why. So, she raised her hand to touch him instead but stopped when he spoke.

"Don't," he warned, shaking his head. "You'd disappear."

The side of her lips curled up as a brief laugh slipped past her lips. "I'm not real, Abel," she crooned, moving her hand and her fingers delicately slipped in between his fingers. She wrapped her fingers around him, setting her eyes back to meet his dilating eyes. 

"I don't want to be your empress, but I can be your mistress. Let's just keep playing the game we both started." She smiled gently, glancing at his hand, and noticed a slash across the back of his hand. "I hate you, I really do. I really want to hurt you... really bad."

Aries carefully guided his hand to her lips, planting a delicate peck on his wound as if the blood didn't matter. She looked up and smiled again, contradicting all the words that left her mouth.

"Better?" she asked, resting the back of his hand against her cheek. "Hmm?"

For a moment, Abel was stunned to silence upon feeling the warmth around his hand. His dilated eyes gradually softened as she kissed his hand, and the turmoil in his chest disappeared instead of her.

It was like magic how his head that was in haywire suddenly grew clear. How the blazing fire within him was distinguished with just her touch. 

She didn't leave. Or rather, she came back to him. 

"Better." He nodded with a subtle smile on his face, pulling her hand closer to him. When they were toe to toe, he bent over, wrapping his arms around her with his forehead on her shoulder. 

"Much better," he whispered, clutching her back with both his trembling hands. Another deep exhale came out of his mouth, feeling her warmth transferring to him.

Aries glanced at him and smirked weakly, wrapping her arms around his waist. His damped clothes tainted her white plain chemise with Persian red upon contact with him, but Aries didn't mind. It was strange, she thought. How she would feel this way around him, almost snugly.

A subtle smile appeared on her lips.  "I felt like I just sold myself to the devil," she whispered with her slight smile persisting. "I guess... From now on, I'm a heretic... and I don't feel sorry about that."

Whatever that would come after this, this was her decision. She chose to return and stay with him; no one persuaded her to make this decision. Whether they get damned and get devoured by the eternal flames in hell, Aries wouldn't regret it for sure. 

She chose her own hell, and this was it. 

"Does that mean you will worship me from now on?" he inquired, moving his face from her shoulder to the side of her neck. His fiery, deep breath kissed her skin while the tip of his nose traced her neck. "Hmm? This is a path of no return, darling."

"I know," came out a soft voice, stretching her neck, willing to surrender everything to him. "But it's not like it will change anything, correct? We are just sinking deeper and deeper, Abel. Falling only had one direction, down. I can only embrace and prepare my landing."

"You don't have to. I'll catch you." A soft peck landed on her neck, trailing fervent kisses up to her jaw. But when he withdrew his head to claim her lips, Aries covered his lips with her palm. 

"Let's treat your wounds first," she said while he frowned. "If you die, my ending will be worse, Abel."

Aries let out a weak laugh as she peeled her hand from his lips ever so slowly. "You better behave," she whispered, standing on her toes, tilting her head as she planted a kiss on his lips. 

"What a tease," he grumbled into her mouth, making her grin against his lips. Abel clicked his tongue when she drew back, only to see the smug smirk plastered on her face. 

"Don't force me to make you beg."

"We'll see about that." Aries held his hand, guiding him inside the room and into the bath to help him clean the blood off of him.